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On Purpose Woman
On Purpose Woman Magazine is published bi-monthly online. We reserve the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Neither the publishing team or the advertisers accept responsibility for errors. Publication and distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing for any reason. To reproduce articles, always credit On Purpose Woman Magazine with the link to the issue. Also, credit the author and leave their bio and contact info intact.
On Purpose Woman Publisher/Editor Ginny Robertson Creative Director Kathryn Yarborough Contributing Writers: Carol Burbank Laura Di Franco Kim Wells Eley Patti Hornstra Andrea Hylen Elizabeth McCain Adrienne Newberg Shelly O’Connell Emily Shull Karen Tasto Amber Tichenor Belinda Todd Kathryn Yarborough Cover Art By: Lulu Trevena
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Ginny Robertson, Founder On Purpose Woman Community Founder/Editor On Purpose Woman Magazine
Kathryn Yarborough, Global Facilitator On Purpose Woman Community Creative Director On Purpose Woman Magazine
On Purpose Woman Magazine & The On Purpose Woman Community Stand With Our Friends and Colleagues Black Lives Matter For 20 years, the On Purpose Woman Community has welcomed and encouraged all women to join us in “connecting women around the world to their gifts, their purpose, and each other.†On Purpose Woman Magazine has always been committed to diversity within our pages. We embrace diversity. We will work harder to practice inclusion. We will use our platforms of privilege to do both.
Inside On Purpose Woman...
10 Letter from the Publisher 
 Ginny Robertson 12 Risking the First Step Belinda Todd 16 Black Women-Owned Business Directory 18 Flirting Fun and Openness
 Shelly O’Connell 22 A Love Yourself Prayer Karen Tasto 26 Stop! Ending Your Book is Hard to Do 
 Kim Wells Eley 34 The Dark Side of a Personal Vow 
 Emily Shull 40 Sisterhood Through Story 
 Elizabeth McCain 46 Calendar of Events 48 A Better Collaboration Laura Di Franco 56 Cover Art “Pause†
 Lulu Trevena 62 On Purpose Woman Global Community Member Directory 70 What’s In a Name?
 Patti Hornstra 76 Real Women. Real Purpose. Talk Show Interviews 80 If You Meet Your “To-Do†List on the Road, Kill It! Carol Burbank 88 Freeing Females From Frenemies. How Do I Overcome Female Conflict? 
 Amber Tichenor, Ph.D. 96 Expectations: Will your current efforts get you there?
 Adrienne Newberg 102 FACEBOOK: What Entrepreneurs Can and Can’t Control
 Kathryn Yarborough 110 Enjoy the Adventure Andrea Hylen
Thank You to Our Advertisers Andrea Hylen * Art of Healing * Baltimore Organizer * Brave Healer Productions * Coach Claudette * Coaching By Shelly * DoraVilk * Earthsave Baltimore * Elizabeth McCain * Epilogue Tributes * Grey Swan Inn * Judie Harvey Editorial Midwife * Julia Mattis Re/Max Advantage * KWE Publishing * Lilia Shoshanna Rae * Lisa Diane McCall * 
Marci Yankelov Real Estate * Maryland Public Television * Me Myself & Money * Newberg Financial * Nourishing Journey * Rebel Magic * Renu 28 * Sahffi * 
Sisterhood Through Embodied Storytelling * Soul-utions Hypnosis * Storyweaving Coaching and Consulting * Temple In the Woods * The Heart’s Voice Movement *
 Uncommon Design, LLC * Veronica Grey * Wise & Well Center at Keswick * Your Best Midlife
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From the Publisher Kathryn and I thank you for checking out On Purpose Woman Magazine. This is a particularly yummy issue with some outstanding writing, beautiful art, and advertisers who provide solutions for what your Mind, Body, Spirit & Business may need. To share your writing, your art, or shine a light on your business in a future issue, go to www.OnPurposeWomanMagazine for the details. This magazine is a labor of love, and we'd love for you to share it with your women friends and colleagues. If you haven't attended the On Purpose Woman Global Community Connections Over Coffee, Connections After Hours, or Connections Thru Conversation online gatherings, you've got 12 choices each month. Attend whenever you can and join a fabulous group of on-purpose women as we connect, learn, grow, vision, move forward, and support one another. I founded the On Purpose Woman Global Community 21 years ago. Thinking about that kind of blows my mind. I had no idea what I was creating back in 2000. I just knew that I wanted to give women a safe space to show up and practice being who they really are. That's still the focus. It is a place to be real and connect with your gifts, purpose, and other amazing women from around the world. It's a place to show up and be seen and heard. Won't you join us for a free meeting? You may have seen info about our 21st-anniversary celebration in the last issue. We've moved that date to Saturday, September 18th, 11am-4pm (eastern). We'll meet online to Connect…Learn…Grow…& Celebrate. It will be an opportunity for me to say Thank You to anyone who has played some role in helping me manifest this big vision. I couldn't have done it you hadn't shown up! It will also be an opportunity to introduce the On Purpose Woman Global Community to new women. Mark your calendar. You are all invited!
Ginny
I am an actor. This avocation is not about the paycheck, nor is it about recognition. It is an innate something that makes me want to see the world through characters often different from myself. It is fulfilling a dream. However, fear almost made me cancel my first audition. The afternoon appointment was set, and I arrived at the theater early. Before I could turn off the car, the mind chatter began: "Are you crazy! Who do you think you are? You will be laughed at!" Too nice to be a no-show, the integrity of my word compelled me to open the car door and channel an inner diva. I strolled into the theater like I belonged there. When the audition was over, I felt ecstatic, invigorated! I was finally feeding my soul the nourishment it needed. The director said she would get back to me in a few days. Three weeks later, I had given up hope of being in this performance. Then the e-mail arrived, offering me the part of Reba in Before It Hits Home, a play by Cheryl L. West. The play was well-received in the Richmond and Petersburg theaters, and my performance was good – not stellar, just good. But I was hooked. I found a new tribe—a community of talented artists. Today, my credits include television, stage, commercials, and most recently, film. I am so glad that on that fateful day, I took the first step. The first step begins the journey to nurturing your goals and developing your talents. The first step takes you outside your comfort zone and into your dreams. The first step is a signal to the universe to prepare the way. If you do not take the first step, you will never know what could be. You see, I am a black woman over 50. The odds of venturing into new territory were not in my favor, or so I thought. I have watched too many people give up on their dreams at certain mile markers in life, letting age dictate their fate. But I am daily choosing to see my world as filled with unlimited opportunities. I do not know what it takes to liberate your soul, but I do know that until you find it, your light will not fully shine. The first step is embracing the vulnerability that exposes who you are on the inside: your beauty, your talent, your capabilities as well as your weaknesses. Here is the truth: first steps are scary. It is scary to leave comfortable surroundings, routine living, and even old friends. I did not know if I could memorize scripts or if I would appear too old with a younger generation of actors. But I was determined to unleash my longing; I would take the risk. This is what I know. Each time I take a risk, there is a part of me that recoils in fear, but I have learned to move forward anyway. Helen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." If my life is going to be a daring adventure, I decree and declare that "My faith is bigger than my fear!" My prayer is that I am always willing to take the first step. My mission is to inspire and empower women to use their gifts and talents to make the earth more loving, more peaceful, and more joyful.
Risking the First Step by Belinda Todd
The first step takes you outside your comfort zone and into your dreams.
Belinda Todd 
is a risk-taker. After retiring from a career with the airlines, she received a master's degree in theology, became a certified yoga instructor, and taught as an Adjunct Instructor in the Languages and Literature Department at Virginia State University. She is now studying acting.
I believe that flirting is a form of play. I like to think of it as a woman’s superpower because it is a key that unlocks a vital aspect of yourself. Flirting can free you to fully engage with life in the present moment. The advantage of flirting is that it incorporates fun. They go together hand in hand. Having a little more fun in life is good and possible. Without play, fun, and attentive interaction with life, you lose so much of yourself. Sadly, many women have lost their ability to play, primarily because women are conditioned to put everyone and everything else first. Being so busy serving and taking care of others may cause you to shut down to the vibrancy of you. If your ability to play has been lost, then your openness to receiving the gifts offered each day closes off too. That is why flirting is essential. It can enhance or restore your mojo. Flirting allows you to become receptive to things that can enrich and delight you. In a way, you remember or discover so much about yourself. You have the chance to get in touch with all that inspires you and learn what lifts you. You begin attending to your hopes, needs, and dreams when you are awake to yourself and to life. You start to honor and celebrate that formerly elusive awareness which is you. Let me clear up some misconcep-
tions about flirting that might be inhibiting you. Perhaps you learned that flirting meant you were a tease or that men would interpret flirting as you wanting to have sex with them. Both are examples of the patriarchy designating that a woman’s being and expression is for the objectification by men. It is time to reclaim our right to be and behave without toxic masculinity attempting to control us at every turn. Flirting does not necessarily mean that you intend to have sex. Nor does it mean that you are putting yourself in harm’s way. In truth, you have authority over yourself; no one else does. You need not accept inappropriate actions or statements from men with whom you flirt. You create the rules of your flirting by establishing boundaries within yourself first. The men you flirt with will play within those parameters because you determine the treatment you expect. Flirting also involves noticing and receiving cues, using your eyes, body language, laughter, play, fun, and other talents. Just like any ability, there are skills that require practice and application before you acquire mastery. Flirting expertise unlocks your natural power to connect with life and yourself through play. Get out there and give flirting a whirl. P.S. (If you get stuck, look me up.)
Flirting Fun and Openness by Shelly O’Connell
Shelly O’Connell 
offers Life Coaching services for women. Sign up for weekly tips on flirting from Finding Your Flirt.
http://eepurl.com/gs7InX
A Love Yourself Prayer by Karen Tasto
I wrote this for you, and for me too, as our struggles are the same. 
Read this as your morning practice, or write your own.
May I be my greatest love!
May I know I am not broken and never have been.
May I feel deeply into my bones that I am enough.
May I remember that I am human, so yes, I will disappoint others.
May I treat my heart ever so gently and tenderly, no matter.
May I never abandon myself again.
May I honor, cherish and adore my body as the temple it is
And accept nothing less than this from others.
May I know my beauty, my sparkle, from the inside out and outside in.
May I believe that I am never alone.
May I trust myself enough to not doubt my inner knowings.
May I claim, own and express my truths even if they will change tomorrow.
May I look into a mirror and see the core of my being looking back.
May I allow myself to be all of me, the dark, the light, the quirks, & funks.
May I know I am so amazing just by being me.
May I be anything I wish to be from moment to moment.
May I feel worthy to receive all I desire and need.
May I give myself permission to have none of this and still....
May I love myself forever and always!
Karen Tasto 
has been holding sacred space for women to feel, claim, and express the truths of their bodies, hearts and souls for over 15 years. She’s a certified women’s life coach, women’s circle facilitator, reiki practitioner, love worker and certified JourneyDance guide.
www.karentasto.com
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If you recognize this sentence, you may be having a flashback from your high school English class. Haunting and memorable, this last sentence fromThe Great Gatsbyby F. Scott Fitzgerald is arguably one of the best endings of an American novel. As writers, we often focus on crafting a killer first sentence. We want to hook our readers, engaging them right from the start. By contrast, I find we don't discuss how to end your book as much as how to start it. Yet it's an important topic which deserves some focus. Authors have a responsibility to disembark their readers in a similar way as they embarked. You want to have an ending that grips your readers' imagination and makes them continue to think and discuss your book. With that in mind, let's explore how to end your amazing book. What should my book's word count be? Let's look at suggested book lengths by genre: General Fiction Flash Fiction:300–1500 words Short Story:1500–30,000 words Novellas:30,000–50,000 words Novels:50,000–110,000 words Fiction Genres Mainstream Romance:70,000–100,000 words Subgenre Romance:40,000–100,000 words Science Fiction / Fantasy:90,000–120,000 (and sometimes 150,000) words Historical Fiction:80,000–100,000 Thrillers / Horror / Mysteries / Crime:70,000–90,000 words Young Adult:50,000–80,000 Children's Books Picture Books:300–800 words Early Readers:200–3500 words Chapter Books:4000–10,000 words Middle Grade:25,000–40,000 words Nonfiction Standard Nonfiction(Business, Political Science, Psychology, History, etc.): 70,000–80,000 words Memoir:80,000–100,000 words Biography:80,000–200,000 words How-to / Self-Help:40,000–50,000 words While these are the recommended lengths, recognize that they are just guidelines, not literary laws. It is more important to write in a clear, concise way than it is to add words to meet a quota. Never write additional verbiage solely to meet a word length guideline. Shoveling in "filler" will bog down the writing you have so carefully crafted. Consult Your Strategic Plan When I work with awesome author clients, we start creating their books by using a strategic plan. I discussed this plan in the Nov/Dec 2020 issue of On Purpose Woman in the article "If You Don't Know Where You're Going, You Won't Get There." To recap, when we start a book together, my clients and I identify three main components: Intention Message Ideal reader Throughout the writing process, we use their strategic plan to double-
check we are on track. As we write and review each chapter, we will ask ourselves, "Is this chapter focusing on the book's intention? Will my ideal reader respond to this? Will this passage resonate with them, or will the readers be confused? Is this passage supporting my message?" Once we reach the end of their book, my clients and I do one last review against their strategic plan. We read their chapters from start to finish and see if their message is consistent and achieves the goal of their plan. If any part of the book falls short, we review that passage and rewrite it until we are satisfied. Tie Up All Loose Ends At the beginning of a nonfiction book, most authors describe the points they plan to make. In fiction books, there are often lots of characters who are introduced, described, and who interact with each other. No matter whether you write nonfiction or fiction, you want to tie up all of the loose ends. After we review their strategic plan, my awesome author clients and I look at their outline. Did we address each point they want to discuss in their nonfiction book? In their novel, are the characters consistent? Are all of the plotlines resolved? What works and what doesn't? This is an important part of your editing process. If you keep in mind the points you want to make, or the storylines you have crafted, and fail to tie up loose ends, it can frustrate your reader. There is one important exception to this, however, which is creating a cliffhanger. Cliffhangers Cliffhangers are book endings in fiction that end at a particular point in the story that is not completely resolved. A great cliffhanger leaves your reader wanting more in a great way. Often used in trilogies or book series, cliffhangers stop the action at the end of one book so it can be continued in the next book in the series. In fiction, it is a good idea to tell the rest of the story from the previous book, which ended on a cliffhanger. Your reader will want to know what happened when they start reading the next book in your series. If you don't address the cliffhanger in your next book, your readers will be upset. No one likes remaining in suspense for too long! Share with Beta Readers If you want to get feedback on your book and its ending, consider asking for people to be beta readers for you. Similar to a movie screening with a test audience, having beta readers review your book will give you valuable feedback prior to publishing. Beta readers will share what works and what doesn't in your book. They may ask questions about your content or characters you had not thought about. When you receive their comments, you have the opportunity to update your manuscript accordingly. It is important to choose beta readers who enjoy or have expertise in the genre in which you are writing. Always accept beta readers' feedback with gratitude as they are helping you craft your best book. However, if you disagree with their ideas, keep in mind that each of us has our own opinions about what works and what doesn't. Consider their reviews and thoughtfully decide whether to act on their suggestions. If you have several readers who express confusion about your ending, that's a good sign you may want to change it. You can ask trusted friends and family to be beta readers. In addition, there are beta readers who advertise their skills for hire on online sites. Be sure to vet someone carefully before sharing your manuscript with them. Also, I recommend asking beta readers to sign a non-disclosure agreement if you do not know them well. The End When you are sharing your incredible book message, think about the way you want your readers to react. Do you want them to wail from sorrow, to feel light as a feather and inspired, or to drool in anticipation from a great cliffhanger? Keeping your reader in mind as you craft your ending will make a huge impression, similar to boats on the current, borne back ceaselessly into your readers' souls.
Stop! Ending Your Book is Hard to Do by Kim Wells Eley
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
Kim Wells Eley 
is a speaker, author, & publisher. A cat lover and a collector of orchids, she gets all of her news from comedy channels. KWE Publishing (804) 536-1972 kwe@kwepub.com 
www.kwepub.com Check out Kim's other articles on writing in the last 6 issues of On Purpose Woman Magazine.
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The Dark Side of a Personal Vow by Emily Shull
Have you ever made a vow? I’m not talking about wedding vows, which we exchange in a moment of hope, love, and optimism. I mean a personal promise that is born in a moment of passionate anger, frustration, or fear. They usually begin with, “I will NEVER…†as in: “I will NEVER again work for another person as long as I live.†“I will NEVER be dependent on a man for money.†“I will NEVER be a burden to my children.†Vows spring up from helplessness and allow us to feel a sense of control over the future. We make such promises to protect ourselves or our loved ones from pain. But there is a problem with these personal promises. Once we make them, they spin out of our control. Life is fluid, but our unconscious is rigid. When we make a promise with such emotional force, our brain takes it very seriously. It senses we are in danger if we do not fulfill this promise. So it will do anything it can to make sure we follow through. This is due to the intense emotion behind them. When vows are fueled by passion, our unconscious mind seizes them and draws them down deep into the brain’s limbic system, where our emotional memories are recorded. The limbic system has one job: to keep us safe. It records our intense emotions so that when we feel them the next time, our subconscious can react automatically to protect us. This automatic response is out of our control. The problem is, life is fluid, but our unconscious is rigid. When circumstances change, the unconscious brain does not. It rigidly holds on to our promise. Here’s an example. Christine’s parents separated when she was young, and her father moved away. His phone calls and child support payments were sporadic. Christine and her mother never knew when or if they would hear from him. The times she did speak to her father, he would promise to send her a gift and to visit her soon. But more often than not, he would not follow through. He agreed to contribute to her college tuition, but that turned out to be another empty promise. Frustrated and deeply hurt, Christine told herself she would never rely on a partner to support her. Her financial independence became a source of pride. Even when she married, she and her spouse maintained separate accounts, and she enjoyed being able to maintain her lifestyle without having to rely on her spouse for support or approval. The arrangement worked well. Then they decided to have a child. Within six months, their relationship was strained. Christine struggled with exhaustion, trying to keep up with her job and caring for their baby. Her spouse felt increasingly unappreciated and isolated as Christine turned more and more to her mother for support. What was happening? The unconscious brain dictates our actions. Without Christine ever being aware, her unconscious brain sensed danger when their baby was born and rose up to protect her. It did so superbly. It remembered Christine’s vow never to rely on a partner to support her. Now it was directing Christine to find any means possible (going without sleep, turning to someone other than her partner) to support herself and her new child. If someone asked Christine if she wanted her partner to be a fully involved and supportive parent and spouse, she would have said, “Of course I do!†This is the power of a vow. It operates deep in our unconscious, disconnected from logic. Its automatic response gives the appearance that we are making a rational choice. In fact, we have no choice. The unconscious brain dictates our actions. Identifying the original emotions that triggered the vow gives us control. So how do we regain control? As with any limiting belief, you know there is a problem when your actions do not match your intentions. When you find yourself stuck in a pattern of behavior despite your efforts to change, then it’s time to reflect. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of? If I stop acting this way, what might happen?†You can also try to feel into the emotion. Sit quietly and check in with your body. What emotions do you notice? Does an image or phrase appear? How old is this emotion? Can you remember the first time you felt it? What happened then? These questions help us get to the root of the matter. When we identify the original emotions that triggered the vow, then we regain control. The vow rises to our consciousness, where we can examine it and determine whether or not it still serves us. Only then do we have the power to choose how we will move forward.
Emily Shull
Women who want to understand & heal their relationship with money turn to Emily for non-judgmental behavioral coaching that gets to the emotional root of the matter. Certified Money Coach (CMC)® Founder, Me Myself and Money. www.memyselfandmoney.com
Sisterhood Through Story
by Elizabeth McCain As I write this, it is strange to realize that we have been living in such a changed world for almost a year since this pandemic hit. It became clear to me last March that I wanted and needed more frequent connection with my closest friends to process so much sudden loss in my life, such as the cancellations of my book and one-woman show tour of the South. (My memoir, A Lesbian Belle Tells, was published last May.) Soon, I was talking and zooming with present-day friends. I was also reconnecting with my childhood and college friends. Those connections quickly became highlights of my days and gave me hope. Less texting and more talking became my norm. It was ironic that, although I was not seeing friends in person, I felt more connected to a tribe of women who were becoming my sisters. I believe there is a soul connection we can feel with our closest women friends, the ones who love us through the highs and lows of life. In these friendships, I feel a deep connection with the Divine Feminine, a life-sustaining heart and nurturing connection. We support and challenge one another through sharing our personal stories with one another. Research on the neuroscience of story has revealed that when we hear one another's stories, our capacity for compassion and empathy increases. We then deepen our relationships. When we feel empathy by knowing a friend's story, the brain releases oxytocin, the "feel-good" hormone. This pandemic has given us plenty of story medicine to share with one another. Our friendships can also become complicated with misunder-
standings, conflict, and hurt feelings. Sometimes it is harder for women to maintain close friendships as we age because of family and work commitments and the overload of technology. Our patriarchal culture emphasizes work addiction, production, competition, and success – the shadow of the masculine. It is time for the feminine way of slowing down to nurture ourselves and one another to re-emerge. A silver lining of this pandemic is that it helps us clarify what and who really matters in our lives. We realize that we need one another. We can overcome work and technology overload by prioritizing our friendships. Regularly scheduled phone calls, zoom visits and socially distanced visits can be lifelines. These activities have grounded me and brought me much joy. As you're reading this, perhaps you're thinking about a friend with whom you have lost touch or a friend with whom you only occasionally text, which is the briefest and most distant form of communication. Maybe you tell yourself you don't have time to talk to her. I encourage you to be curious about your hesitation to connect more deeply. What if you took the time to reach out and call a friend? What if you could share laughter and vulnerability with several friends throughout the week? What if you forgave a friend who hurt you? Imagine the sense of peace and connection you would feel if you shared your most meaningful and challenging stories from this difficult year. If you need help renewing or developing friendships with other women, consider taking a five-session online class that my friend Michelle Dubreuil and I are teaching, called "Sisterhood Through Embodied Storytelling," starting April 26th. As a wise woman, Helen Keller stated, "My friends have become the story of my life. In a thousand ways, they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges."
...there is a soul connection we can feel with our closest women friends...
Elizabeth McCain 
is a counselor, Interfaith minister, playwright, solo performer, and is the author of a memoir, A Lesbian Belle Tells OUTrageous Southern Stories of Family, Loss, and Love.
www.elizabethmccain.com
I grew up believing that to be successful, I had to do it all by myself. I’ve evolved to understand that collaboration with other badass humans is the way to go for the kind of success I dream about. “Do you have a business or a concept that other people want to help you build?†That was a question from my friend Donnie that I started to answer and take to heart. It was the solution to understanding collaboration at another level, a game-changing level for my life and business. What is the magical combination of strategic steps or formula for a better, business-building collaboration? I’m going to lay out what I’ve experienced as a result of leading eight best-selling 25-author book collaborations over the last 12 months. Here are my ABCs for a better collaboration: AWARENESS “My energy is low today,†I said to my assistant. “I want to slide the kickoff call for one more day so that I can bring myself into the energy I want for this group of authors.†Since awareness has been a lifelong practice and pursuit of mine, I consider myself to be at mastery levels. That’s a confident feeling that my daily awareness practice serves my deepest desires in a way that aligns with what I’m here on the planet to do. That’s a ninja-level of awareness, and awareness is foundational to any great collaboration (or life, for that matter). What do you feel? What are you thinking? Are you tuned in to the energy of the moment? Can you feel the other people you’re collabor-
ating with and their energy? Are you calling that out and talking about it? There is so much to say about awareness that it’s whole-book worthy. Make an awareness practice part of your life and watch how everything, including the people you attract into your collaborations and business, changes. BADASS COMMUNICATION I will always try to be a better communicator and learn as much as I can about this because I know it’s the key to success and happiness in any relationship, business, marriage, collaboration, friendship, etc. When you marry awareness with open, honest, compassionate communication, you will have such clarity you’ll wonder how you didn’t think to really focus on this before. Great communication, like awareness, is not something we’re taught in school very often. We hear things like, “Play nice,†“You need to share,†and “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.†And rather than becoming excellent communicators (and listeners) and creators of great solutions, we make enemies, or shut down completely—all bad vibe stuff. Badass communication starts with awareness and ends with self-expression from our authentic truth. Add in compassion, respect, and a desire for understanding, and you’ll create relationships and collaborations that expand far beyond what you expected. “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?†Remember good old Dr. Phil? Every time I opt for happy, things feel pretty good. Every time I slide into “right,†things tend to go south. Go figure. CELEBRATION When your focus is positive, the energy shifts and raises. In every collaborative book project I’ve managed, my focus is the positive with an intention to not only raise that vibe, but maintain it. When we celebrate as a regular practice, we assist others into that higher vibe. When we appreciate and celebrate, we give others permission to do the same. Again, we may have been taught the opposite: to expect the negative or to “not get our hopes up.†So we must, with that ninja awareness practice I talked about, check in on our mind, thoughts, beliefs, and what’s actually coming out of our mouths. Do you tend to point out the negative? Do you tend to shift to worry and what-ifs before you can celebrate the wins? Are you in the habit of gratitude, appreciation, and celebration on a regular basis? The best collaborations will hold this kind of sacred energy and guide all participants to it. That creates an environment where miracles can happen. It creates an environment others want to be a part of. And it creates an environment others want to tell their friends about. This is what my friend Donnie talked about when he said, “Create a business other people want to help you build.†There’s one last important thing I’d like to offer when you’re thinking about your upcoming collaborative badassery. Have you taken the time to build your relationships? This is about the know-love-trust thing. Collaborations built on trust, which happens over time, are built on a more solid foundation. How do you build trust with someone? By taking the time to get to know them. And that might mean more than one twenty-minute discovery call. I remember a colleague saying to me once a long time ago, “You should never try to be friends with your clients.†This never resonated with me. My best clients were people I called friends. My genuine caring and connection with them was how I built the trust required to have a solid relationship. Yes, we must all have and practice healthy boundaries, but getting to know my fellow humans, whether they are prospective or current clients or other kinds of acquaintances, is part of what makes being alive fulfilling and purposeful. And when you take the time to get to know people, you create the solid foundation for the best possible collaborations. Remember, we’re wired to connect and collaborate. With a bit of awareness, some badass communication, and the intention to infuse your projects with celebration and appreciation, your collaborations will feel like magical, expansive energy that could change the world.
A Better Collaboration by Laura Di Franco
Badass communication starts with awareness and ends with self-expression from our authentic truth.
Laura Di Franco 
CEO of Brave Healer Productions, publishes world-changing wellness books that support the business success and legacy of the author. BraveHealer.com
“I Paused†by Lulu Trevena 2020 I put a little make up on today I looked at myself a little different Not prettier Not enhanced Not hidden Not fake I paused I saw me A piece of me A piece I remember Just a piece it shone In the remembering of all of who I am ... as immense as the galaxy no glitter from the makeup yet sparkles from deep within ... from the stardust in my eyes and the stardust in my veins.
Mixed Media and Encaustic Wax. As an artist I like color and texture. I love to use art as exploration and self-expression. I have been in many creative classes where people leave the class more stressed than when they walk in. I want art to be fun, joyous and free.Quality is important, learning new skills and stretching our personal perspective. I discovered encaustic wax classes in Atlanta, where liquid wax is part of the “paint medium†used. Layers of warm wax creating texture and interesting affects. This background image is from a woman in the 1940’s. It made me pause and reflect on how different my life would have been if I lived in the 40’s. I used lace at her bustline for interest, and carved lines in the wax for flair. The warm reds give this piece vibrancy and passion, contrasted with the black and cool blue at the edges.
Cover Art “Pause†by Lulu Trevena
Muse Calling
Fluid as Water
Out of the Shadows
Mermaid Peeking
More About Lulu Trevena
Lulu Trevena, an Aussie native and the Founder of Live Life With Wonder, is delighted by the mystery and potentiality of human life. She is an award-winning Author of the stunning hardcover art and poetic prose book “Soul Blessings,†winning a 2018 Silver Nautilus Book Award. She is also the creator of the card deck “Moments of Transformation†inspirational daily messages and deepening practices for soulful living, and the hardcover journal “Epiphany Journal and Playbook.†Lulu recently became a co-author and International Amazon Best-seller in The Ultimate Guide to Self-Healing volume 3 - 2020, and Find Your Voice, Save Your Life 2021. Books about real women, real stories, that change lives. Since childhood, words have held a magical and inexplicable power. Writing has been a sanctuary of wonderment, solace and salve to her soul. She has been fascinated by the emotions reached by stringing a few words together. Her favorite word is epiphany. She also likes to make up her own words occasionally! She is a lover of color and texture. She has created with paint, clay, fabric, metal, glass, felt, dye, beads, paper and items from Nature. She has recently been enjoying the art of crystal gridding. In her 50s adopting the USA as her home, reinventing herself a little and finally fulfilling her goal of reaching others with her words, she became a published writer for Elephant Journal and Tattooed Buddha. Search www.elephantjournal.com and www.tattooedbuddha.com. She is passionate about shifting the societal narrative about women and age. Lulu invites us to create conscious forward movement in our own greatness, and that we are never too “adult†for a sprinkle of wonder along the path we travel.
Connect with Lulu: www.livelifewithwonder.com
lulu.trevena@gmail.com
lulu@livelifewithwonder.com Facebookwww.facebook.com/livelifewithwonderr Instagramwww.instagram.com/livelifewithwonder YouTube: Live Life with Wonder LinkedIn: Lulu Trevena
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I’m the mother of a transgender child. He was once she. Tristan Blaine 
was once Anna Marie. While being the mother of a transgender child (now a young adult) does not define me, it certainly impacts me. When I was pregnant, all four times, I was asked the same questions over and over. “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl? What are you going to name him/her?†Those are the questions that everyone asks every pregnant woman they know, right? Logical questions since I am fairly sure that every pregnant woman on earth wonders whether she’s having a boy or a girl and, at some point, comes up with a list of potential names. Baby-names are special, aren’t they? Perhaps the little fella is the fourth in line, named after dad and grandpa and great-grandpa. Or maybe the little angel has one of those names that make people say, “What in the hell were her parents thinking when they named her THAT?†In any case, baby names are important to parents. No one ever names a baby and later says, “We didn’t really like that name, but we were tired of trying to decide, so we just opened the baby name book and pointed to one.†Parents typically agonize over baby names. Other than pronoun changes, I think name changes are the hardest adjustment for parents of transgender children (my opinion). Hard as it was, I encouraged Anna to go through with the legal name change to Tristan. I knew that it needed to be made legal for so many practical reasons, but I thought that, emotionally, it would be easier for me to accept the new name if it were official. Sound silly? Maybe, but in my mind, it made things easier for me. It became easier to use the name Tristan when Anna became, legally, Tristan. But, for me, Anna never goes away. The reminders of Anna are everywhere. I open the coat closet, and there’s the letter jacket from marching band with Anna embroidered on the front. Every time I reach into my desk drawer for a pen, I see Anna’s first driver’s permit, the photo with long hair and thick dark eyeliner, frowning for the camera. And in my briefcase is the cardboard ‘mousepad’ that Anna made for me at age six. It’s heart-shaped, made of white copy paper glued onto cardboard, with the handwriting of a six-year-old wishing me “merry X-mas Mom Love Anna†in blue ink next to a drawing of a reindeer and a Christmas tree. On the back: “Handcrafted by Anna.†There are so many trinkets and Christmas tree ornaments with the name Anna; there are reminders in so many unexpected places. As an adolescent, I hated my name; not for any particular reason that I remember; I just hated my name. (In reality, I thought I hated my name.) And I had a plan. I was going to change my name the day I was legally able. My new name would be Judith Marie. But I grew up, and I realized that I didn’t hate my name at all. Patti Lynne “fits†me, and so I stayed Patti Lynne. Even when I got married, I dropped my maiden name and stayed Patti Lynne. Patti Lynne Bongers became Patti Lynne Hornstra (yes, you read that correctly). We all know that a woman’s maiden name is the surname (aka, last name) she was given at birth, and her married name is her surname (last name) after she marries, if she chooses to change her last name to her husband’s last name. To complicate things even more, some women (not me, see above) drop their middle name, move their maiden name into that spot, and then take their husband’s last name—lots of moving parts and lots of names for names. What happens to Anna the name when Anna the girl becomes Tristan the boy? When a transgender person changes their first name (their given name) from the name they were given by their parents at birth to their new chosen name, their birth name is now called their deadname. Deadname is a noun. Deadnaming is a verb: deadnaming someone means referring to a transgender person by their birth name rather than by their chosen name. When I came up with the title for my book, When He Was Anna: A Mom’s Journey Into the Transgender World, I thought (and still do think) that it describes perfectly what I was trying to convey. When I put myself out there on social media, I expected some negativity, but it was surprisingly limited to two comments, “Man, that deadname is harsh,†followed by another that went something like, “I know, right.†Let me interpret: the commenters were letting me know that I was harsh (perhaps insensitive) in the use of my child’s deadname. I thanked them both for their concern and assured them that my child, Tristan, the one who was named Anna by me and my husband at birth, was quite happy with the title of the book and had no problem with my use of the deadname. Tristan realizes that Anna Marie was the perfect baby-name choice for me and my husband, but Tristan Blaine is the perfect choice for Tristan. So, what’s in a name?
What’s In a Name? by Patti Hornstra
Name
Patti Hornstra is a native of Richmond, VA, and a VCU graduate. She is the author of When He Was Anna: A Mom’s Journey Into the Transgender World.
www.authorpattihornstra.com
If You Meet Your “To-Do†List on the Road, Kill It!
By Carol Burbank You’ll probably recognize my tongue-in-cheek twist of that famous Zen Buddhist saying about meeting the Buddha on the road. The monks didn’t really mean that meditators should kill the Buddha – they were warning practitioners to resist the ego-based visions that distract and trap seekers as they journey towards truth. But I really do want you to kill your “to-do†list. I am certain that for most of us, it’s a distraction from living our purpose. Yes, it’s satisfying checking things off. Yes, time management is important. Yes, most things on that list are important, maybe even related to your goals and dreams. Some of them are about surviving. Some of them are about mainte-
nance. A few may even be impor-
tant steps towards manifesting your vision in the world. But do yourself a favor: tear it up! Put it through the shredder. Pour yesterday’s stale coffee over it and put it through the garbage disposal! Anything except transfer the things you didn’t do last week to your new “to do†list. But Carol, I hear you ask, as you look at the wreckage of your best-
laid plans, how will I get organized? What will remind me of all the things I’m supposed to do as I work towards my dreams? What if I’ve made room for anarchy, chaos, self-destructive disarray? My answer to all these questions is, (in order): 1.You know what is important for your surviving and thriving already. Unless you have a memory disorder or have scheduled yourself so tightly that your mind can’t keep track of anything, you will do what is important today. 2.Trust yourself. Anything you forget will get done when it’s necessary, possible, and ripe. Most “to do†lists makes small steps falsely urgent, but they don’t build towards your dreams. 3.So things might get messy? Anarchy is just a fear-soaked word for creativity, chaos is a productive stage as you learn towards your purpose, and disarray is part of self-discovery, not self-destruction. “To-do†lists are rarely purpose-
driven tools, at least the way most people use them. The problem isn’t planning. We all need calendars to keep our schedules and deadlines clear because modern life is generally full of appointments. The problem is getting distracted by the ego-satisfying illusion of control. It’s as addictive as shopping on Amazon or sneaking an extra cookie when no one is watching. That little endorphin boost from crossing out a line makes it hard to see that “email Jolene†or “pay advertising bill†are just tasks, not steps towards your purpose. Remember, your purpose is probably a pretty big dream if you’re part of the On Purpose Woman family. You have a vision for service, for transformation, for creative innovation, for a thriving business, for vibrant health. Why not live as large as your purpose? The best gift you can give yourself is to free yourself, just for today, from the tyranny of your “to do†list, so you can have some space to live your vision, not some idea of what you “should†accomplish or how you “should†move forward. The whole point of having a purpose that opens our hearts and minds is to learn and grow. Here’s how living “to do†list free could work in practical terms: FIRST: Every day, look at your planner (NOT your “to do†list) and honestly assess what must be done that specific day. Fulfill your commitment to clients and deadlines; attend the appointments that can’t be missed for whatever reason. Do those things well and fully. They are necessary. SECOND: Observe where there are free spaces in your day between appointments and tasks. Ask yourself, “What can I do today that will move me towards my purpose? What calls me?†(DO NOT refer to your backup “to do†list for ideas! Listen to your heart.) THIRD: In those spaces, let yourself expand as you move towards your purpose. Take one authentic step in alignment with your heart’s purpose. Experiment. Think deeply. Noodle. Make a phone call to someone who can really help. Outline an amazing seminar. Write a chapter (or a paragraph!) of your book. Do some research. Let yourself stretch. FINALLY, at the end of your full and satisfying day, have a wonderful meal and celebrate. If your appointments dominated the day, celebrate that you completed them. If you discovered something interesting, celebrate your discovery. If you wish you’d had more space to explore your purpose, set the intention to open a bigger space wherever you can in the future. Practice this daily, and gradually your journey will be more joyful, more satisfying, and yes, more productive. If you decide to reinstate a “to do†list, it will become a useful guide to your priorities, not a torture device. Think of it this way: you want your life to be purpose-driven, not “to do†list-driven. Can you feel the difference? Let tools be tools; let your purpose energize your days.
...you want your life to be purpose-driven, not “to do†list-driven. Can you feel the difference?
Carol Burbank 
is a writer, educator, and writing mentor dedicated to supporting creatives with authentic, energizing strategies to create successful books and find their unique voices. She founded the Storyweaving Retreat Center in Fort Washington, MD in 2019, and is a local On Purpose Woman Community host.
https://storyweaving.com
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Once You Know Your Purpose, Then What? Ginny Robertson interviewed by Kathryn Yarborough
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How Do I Overcome 
Female Conflict? [Part 3 in a 3-Part Series on "Freeing Females From Frenemies."] By Amber Tichenor, Ph.D.
Freeing Females From Frenemies.
"Female friendships that work are relationships in which women help each other belong to themselves." Louise Bernikow
In the previous two articles, I shared what female rivalry is and how it makes you feel. In this article, I flip that concept to address the positive side of female relationships. Why It's Up To You We don't have control over the actions of other people. At any age, this can be a hard lesson to learn and understand, especially if you are the recipient of something so harmful. When dealing with a frenemy, what you do in response to her is up to you because you have absolute control over your actions. It can be challenging to ignore her and not take it personally. Ultimately, though, that ends up being a positive reflection about you. The Female Sisterhood Women often get a bad rap for not getting along well. While there are certain personalities that compete, rival, and hate, there is another side. There are personalities that support, collaborate, and empower. The antonym of rivalry between women, the favorable side to this negative behavior, is the female sisterhood. Think about your own female circle. These women have your back and share a special bond with you, as you do them. To circle is to encompass. A female circle is a safe and sacred place for women to come together, to be heard, seen, and to empower each other. In primitive times women shared much more of their daily domestic living with each other. Communal lifestyles were common. They cooked, hunted for food, and cared for each other's children, all in tandem with other women. In present day, although women are still pillars of their family and community, shared living is not common. Women are more isolated from each other. Occasions to get together are fewer and together-
time lessened. Women coming together is just not as much of a natural everyday support process as it once was. Who Do You Surround Yourself With? Most women have several types of sisterhood circles comprised of two or more women. These circles can be driven by a personal or professional need. Sometimes the females in them overlap from one group to the next. The circles I'm part of have manifested at different periods and stages in my life, often appearing when I most needed them. One of my oldest groups of friends is a circle I've had for over 30 years. The great thing about this circle is, even though all of our lives have gone in completely different directions, when we're together, we're still the same people we were when we first met. I'm not saying I'm not myself around people I've met since then. It’s just that these ladies have known me inside and out from the time I was a teenager. They know my goofy stories, the crazy boyfriends, the bad stuff; and I know theirs. It is a bond of time. To have these types of people in your life throughout distance and time is a blessing. It's a gift to be cherished. Behind Frenemy Lines. Changing the Perception. As women, we're not always going to see eye to eye or have all things in common with all women. It's ok that we are all different. But we're also all in this life together, and that means getting along and accepting those differences. It's being ok with her,and not competing for something you may or may not have. Here’s a pie analogy: Imagine a nice round, golden, freshly baked, flaky blackberry pie. You can slice it into eight specific yet individual pieces. All pieces look the same. The triangular shape is cut the same. But no matter how hard you try to cut it, those pieces are not exact. A berry will fall out, juice will run, crust will crumble. Each piece may offer you a similar experience in terms of eating the pie; they are alike, yet also different. Using this analogy, you meet a woman and think "Well, she's a coach, and I'm a coach so she's obviously my competition because we're doing the same thing.†Wrong! Think instead "We're in the same field. I have a friend who wants a coach. I know our working together won't be a good fit because I know her personally. I can instead refer her to Sally, who'll be a great fit!" Collaboration Over Competition. Rivalry between women deprives women of female colleagues and companionship. It prevents women from relying on their natural allies,each other. Traditionally, especially in the working environment, women have been taught to compete with one another because there have been fewer positions at the top. With more women having high-
powered jobs and, in general, more women embracing the workforce, negative competition is simply not a successful strategy to get ahead. We have to raise each other up and reverse the stereotype that women do not support each other. Collaboration versus competition is the ticket to do so. As an individual woman, you have power. Collectively, as a group of women, you have IMPACT. Just think about that for a second and let it sink in. Now take a look at your circle. Who is part of your tribe? Who are the strong women? They are the constant, the ones who uplift, expand and empower you. They are the ones that are there for you, no matter what, through thick and thin. They build up, not tear down. This. Is. A. True. Friend.
Amber Tichenor is the founder of To Be, Coaching + Consulting® and author of, “Behind Frenemy Lines: Rising Above Female Rivalry To Be Unstoppable Together†released by Morgan James Publishing, 2021. Shehas a PhD in I/O Psychology and is a thought leader in the topic of female rivalry. Email: amber@tobecoachingandconsulting.com Website: https://www.tobecoachingandconsulting.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-tichenor-phd/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/tobecoaching/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/ToBeCoachingandConsulting
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Every morning a group of men went fishing. They would bring in their catch and gather for a few moments on the pier before leaving. After some time, one of the more curious fishermen noticed that there was one fisherman who would throw back all the biggest fish he had caught. He did this every day, and soon, the curious fisherman could no longer contain himself. He decided to ask this fisherman why he threw back the best fish he had caught. The answer he got was that this fisherman only kept the fish that could fit into his small pan and threw back those that would not. Are we all throwing back those “fish†that don’t fit our pan? Are we avoiding a bigger outlook on what we could achieve? Are we afraid to leave our comfort zone and look for something more? As a financial advisor, I know that reaching for a better retirement, more advanced planning, and keeping your financial goals on track can be a challenge. By doing nothing, we make a choice to stick with the status quo. In some cases, that might work, but I would like to suggest that you look at where you are now and where you would like to be. Will your current efforts get you there? What are your expectations? Are you throwing back opportunities that might be bigger than the ones you have now? Are you unwilling to review your current way of looking at your financial planning? In a rush of New Year’s resolutions about retirement, are you going to follow through on them? Any change in how we do things takes effort. Sometimes it just seems easier to stay with what we know. I ask you to think about whether your current course of action is going to get you to the financial goals that are your vision. A good place to start is educating yourself. Be open to useful, factual information that can empower you. There are no bad questions. It is a lack of questions that hold us back. Move forward with your financial literacy. There are many sizes and types of “pans†available. Some will be a good fit, and others not. Try to decide which ones work and which ones do not. Talk with your HR person and see what is available for you. If you are a small business owner, explore the various options for retirement savings. Should you be funding an IRA, and how does that work? See if you can expand your vision. You do not have to navigate this on your own. Consider partnering with a financial advisor to work with you and help you pursue your goals. Take some time to reflect before you decide you can’t try for a bigger vision of moving forward. Body text
Expectations Will your current efforts get you there? By Adrienne Newberg
Adrienne Newberg 
has been a Financial Advisor for 22 years and is currently doing business as Newberg Financial at LPL Financial. She has three grown children and volunteers with K-9 Lifesavers. www.NewbergFinancial.com
Adrienne.newberg@lpl.com
410-409-5284
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Have you ever posted something on Facebook and then gone back a few hours later, and no one – not one person – liked or commented on it? I have. I can’t stand that feeling. When it happens, I feel invisible, not wanted, and sometimes even rejected. I’ve even thought, maybe I should just quit trying to attract clients from Facebook. On the other hand, have you ever posted something on Facebook and gone back a few hours later to find that lots of people have liked and commented on it? I love that feeling! When it happens, I feel seen, acknowledged, appreciated, wanted, heard. I even feel popular – like a kid in high school. It feels great! I’ve been on Facebook for over ten years, and that whole time I’ve used it as a tool to attract clients. I’ve sold hundreds of programs. Currently, over half of my clients have come from Facebook. What you have control over… I’ve learned that it’s important to understand what you have control over and what you don’t have control over. For example, you have control over whether or not you unleash your light on Facebook and let your unique vibration shine through all that you write, say, and do. You don’t have control over the Facebook algorithms and how many people Facebook will show your post to. You do have control over learning about ways to work around the Facebook algorithms. Right now, for instance, if you have your own Facebook group and your own business page, a much higher percentage of group members will see a post in your group than business page followers will see the same post on your page. You don’t have control over people’s reactions to your posts or whether or not they’ll comment on them, but you do have control over the content of your posts. You can write content that’s interesting or intriguing to your ideal clients. You can let your unique vibration or Essence shine through by sharing what matters to you and writing or speaking from your heart. You can use Facebook backgrounds, post pictures, or create memes that enhance your message. You can ask questions to get engagement. You don’t have control over whether or not people will do what you want them to do, like join your group, click the link to get your freebie or register for a program. But you do have control over whether or not you learn how to run your group well, invite people to join your group or post offers in your group. Three Challenges I work with on purpose, heart-based solopreneurs and small business owners. The three challenges I see many of my clients struggle with are: 1. Not knowing how to effectively use Facebook tools like the Facebook backgrounds, Facebook Live, or Facebook groups. 2. Spinning their wheels on Facebook, wasting time, and not attracting clients because they don’t have a clear plan about how to do that. 3. Not showing up consistently and shining their light so that their Essence comes through. As a result, their ideal clients don’t see or can’t find them on Facebook. If you’re an on purpose, heart-based solopreneur or small business owner, and you want to attract clients from Facebook, I invite you to find out more about my Unleash Your Light On Facebook 12-week program. The next one starts on March 8. If you’re facing any of those challenges and you want to work through them, this program can transform your life. For more information about it, go to UnleashYourLight.net. If you do the Unleash Your Light On Facebook program, instead of hiding, you’ll be showing up on Facebook and shining your light. You’ll be using Facebook tools effectively. Instead of spinning your wheels and wasting your time scrolling through your newsfeed, you’ll have a plan that integrates what you do on Facebook with your business goals and overall marketing plan. If you want to attract clients on Facebook, there are things you have control over and things you don’t have control over. Whether you use my program or learn on your own, you have control over whether or not you unleash your light. Think about it… what would unleashing your light and shining brightly on Facebook do for you and your business?
FACEBOOK What Entrepreneurs 
Can and Can’t Control By Kathryn Yarborough
Kathryn Yarborough 
is the creator of the Manifesting Clients Academy, an inspirational speaker, and the author of the soon-to-be-published book,KEEP MOVING FORWARD: A Guide for the On Purpose Solopreneur. Kathryn teaches heart-based, on purpose solopreneurs how to unleash their light on Facebook, manifest clients, and grow a business they love. Join Kathryn’s group on Facebook for more tips, guidance, and community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/MovingSidewalkMovement Visit her website at www.ManifestingClientsAcademy.com.
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Enjoy the Adventure A Tip for Building an Innovative Business and Life (Tip #8 of 8)
By Andrea Hylen Enjoy the Adventure! A recent story on CBS Sunday morning was about a friendship between two men who are musicians in Nashville. Sometimes they got together socially with their families and also wanted to see each other more often. Seven years ago, they made up a ritual to meet up for a moment and give each other a high five. They live 1 ½ miles from each other. One of the men sends a text to the other to signal,‘time for a high five.’They both go outside and walk a route where they will pass each other. When they do, they both clap, snap and high five. On most days, they do this ritual and keep walking. On sunny days, on rainy days, on windy days, they walk just to give each other a high five. Andy Gullahorn, one of the men, talked about how devotion to a small thing becomes something bigger. It inspired him to write a song called, Small Things: “Knowing small things matter is really no small thing. Knowing small things matter changes everything.†Early in our marriage, my husband and I created a morning ritual before he left for work. After breakfast, I would say, “Enjoy the adventure,†and we would seal it with a kiss. That small phrase was shared as a reminder that every breath we take, every interaction we have, every small experience is the adventure of life. Being alive is an adventure. Some keys for Enjoying the Adventure: 1. Pause to Celebrate: 
Celebrate beginnings and endings.Celebrate small tasks and big projects.Create a ritual. Pat yourself on the back. Take a break and go for a walk or dance. Light a stick of incense. Prepare a cup of tea. Say out loud, “I did it!†2. Practice Radical Self-Love: 
Make a list of things you appreciate about yourself. Develop compassion for characteristics you want to change. Keep a list of positive affirmations and sprinkle them into your day. Speak them out loud and listen to your voice. Pause at the mirror and look into your eyes. Feel the connection and appreciate who you are! 3. Have fun and lighten up:
Find moments to lighten up and laugh at and with yourself.Bring levity and joy into something that may have previously been serious or heavy.Stand up, raise your hands up to the sky and shout, “I’m alive!†One of the coaching clients I work with has a template of her vision for the year. It includes ideas she wants to explore and professional and personal goals. Every week, she writes a review of insights, tasks, challenges and things to celebrate then emails the list to me for our weekly coaching call. Last Friday, as we looked over the week, she said, “I don’t have a clear vision of something I want to work on in our session.â€My response was, “Great. Let’s spend the time digesting and integrating all of the changes and celebrate your accomplishments. Let’s take a breath together.†For 45 minutes, we talked about things that had happened during the past year. We talked about the pain and frustrations. We laughed about funny and strange things. We celebrated the ups and downs. She is one of the clients I have worked with for almost ten years. In sessions when we celebrate, I am also a historian. Celebrating includes looking at how far she’s come from when we started. During every coaching session, there is always a moment when we pause and celebrate. Small moments and big accomplishments. One more thing about the High Five story. The other musician, Gabe Scott, had a health challenge and ended up in the hospital with encephalitis. The swelling in his brain caused him to lose his memory. At one point during his recovery, Andy Gullahorn visited and asked him to give him a High Five. Gabe didn’t remember Andy and he was confused. Andy just asked him to try. A body memory clicked in and Gabe automatically did a clap, a snap and then the high five. Small things matter. In Summary: 1. Pause to Celebrate 2. Practice Radical Self-Love 3. Have fun and lighten up In the Jan/Feb 2020 issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine, I shared Tip #1: Be willing to go on the ride. â€There was a spark and a desire to say yes to “something.â€A business idea, a relationship, a class, or an event. In the March/April issue, Tip #2: Notice what turns you on, there is something in the desire that lights you up and ignites your passion. You can feel it in your body and heart. In the May/June issue,Tip #3: 
Pause and Reflect: You have to be empty so new ideas can land. Give yourself space to daydream, to be dormant and take root. In the July/August issue, Tip #4: Make friends with change, discomfort and ‘not knowing.’ Create some micro-disruptions to shake things up. Take action. Let go of the attachment to an image. In the Sep/Oct issue, Tip #5: 
Cultivate Personal Power: Get Support. Train your mind. Develop humility. Strengthen your nervous system. Stand up for what you believe. In the Nov/Dec issue, Tip #6:
Manage Your Energy and Time. Balance energy in and energy out. Declutter. Review your calendar. Put yourself on the “to-do-be†list. In the Jan/Feb 2021 issue, Tip #7: Collaborate with others (in a way that makes sense.) Common Goals and Intentions. Clear agreements. Be flexible. Foundation of Respect. Build Trust. Be willing to go on the ride. Notice what turns you on. Pause and Reflect. Make friends with change, discomfort and ‘not knowing.’ Cultivate your personal power. Manage your energy and time. Collaborate with others. Enjoy the Adventure.
Andrea Hylen
Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community.
www.andreahylen.com
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This magazine is for women and by women. I believe it's a force for good and much needed now. You can help by sharing this magazine with your friends, posting it on social media, and talking about it in your communities. See you next time! Kathryn Yarborough, Creative Director
Our next issue is coming May 1, 2021.