Bringing a New Paradigm to life
04 Featuring Extraordinarily creative An interview with e.j. gold fernando pessoa: the author of many identities an interview with jeronimo pizzaro Artists of possibility among us: meet eliza robertson an interview with Eliza Robertson freed freedom: letters from a sri lankan seeker to her meditation master a book review by amy edelstein
Issue #4 The Power of Fiction
October 2020
TheArtist of
Possibility
Extraordinarily creative: An interview with e.J. gold
members' contributions Touching the Lightt, a poem by Adriana Colotti Comel Spontaneous Writing Circle entries By Linda Granville, Liz Stone, and Shashu Habtu
''(...) we need to recognize that the act of reading, far from being a mechanical, disembodied exercise of vocabulary and grammar, is in fact an immeasurably complex psychophysical event in which two horizons of meaning and being (the reader and the read) are ‘fused’ and transfigured in a mysterious process that we do not, and perhaps cannot ever, truly understand...'' –Jeffrey Kripal
artists of possibility among us: meet eliza robertson
Fernando Pessoa: the author of many identities An interview with Jerónimo Pizzaro, by Jeff Carreira
Contents
P.9-16
P. 37-46
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P. 17-22
FERNANDO PESSOA: THE AUTHOR OF MANY IDENTITIES
P. 47
Art by Mystie Brackett
membership & calls for submission
Artists of possibility among us An interview with Eliza Robertson, by Ariela Cohen
A Look Inside the Fiction Issue
P. 23-30
fREED fREEDOM: LETTERS FROM A SRI LANKAN SEEKER TO HER MEDITATION MASTER A book review by Amy Edelstein
P. 31-36
Extraordinarily creative An interview with E.J. Gold, by Jeff Carreira
The Team
Editors Jeff Carreira Robin Beck Ariela Cohen The editors can be reached by email at: Editorial@mysteryschoolforanewparadigm.com website Instagram Facebook Youtube
editorial@mysteryschoolforanewparadigm.com
Cover image by Vadim Sadovski, Unsplash.com Designed & Published by Silvia Rodrigues Ariela Cohen Robin Beck Jeff Carreira
www.mysteryschool.online mystery school Instagram account mystery school Facebook page mystery school YouTube channel
Contributors
Mystie Brackett Adriana Colotti Comel Amy Edelstein Linda Granville Shashu Habtu Liz Stone
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Issue Four Three
links editorial@mysteryschoolforanewparadigm.com website Instagram Facebook Youtube
• Issue#1
In this issue of The Artist of Possibility, we explore the transformative power of fiction. Our lives are like stories of fiction. We are the main character and we ‘read’ our experiences as they occur to make meaning out of them. And, because life is like a story, a powerfully written piece of fiction allows us to inhabit a life other than our own. We can experience things from another vantage point and perhaps lose our own ego’s captivating grip on our attention. Fiction sparks the imagination in ways that other forms of prose cannot. Fiction doesn’t just tell us things, it allows us to see them, feel them and live them. In this issue, we wanted to explore some of the powerful ways in which authors of fiction use their works to transform their readers. In these pages, you will meet the spiritual teacher and prolific author E. J. Gold who will introduce us to his unique creative process. We will explore the fiction of the Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa through the eyes of one of the leading scholars on Pessoa’s work, Jerónimo Pizarro. Also, we will share a conversation with award winning novelist and astrologer Eliza Robertson. We are also happy to offer another wonderful book review by Amy Edelstein, and some inspired poetry and spontaneous writing samples from our members. Finally, a special thanks to a former member, Mystie Brackett, whose beautiful art is displayed throughout the issue. We hope you enjoy! You can contact the editors here. editorial@mysteryschoolforanewparadigm.com.editorial@mysteryschoolforanewparadigm.com.
A Note from the Editors
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Jeff Carreira editor Ariela Cohen editor Robin Beck editor
The storybook universe is made up of stories inside of stories inside of stories, all the way through. Nothing but stories, and anytime you look to find something beyond all the stories, all you will find are stories about what lies beyond all stories. — jeff Carreira
a note from the Editors
the artist of possibility
Don't miss our fifth issue, set to publish on January 15th 2021, where we will be exploring the topic of grief, loss, and transformation. The Artist of Possibility is offered free of charge. Subscribe here to receive your quarterly copy: mysteryschoolforanewparadigm.com/onlinejournal
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NEW ONLINE JOURNAL:
The Mystery School for a New Paradigm publishes an online journal containing articles, interviews, art and poetry that express and explain the emerging possibilities of a new paradigm. In our pages, you will find information about the ideas, people and perspectives that are catalyzing new ways of seeing, feeling and acting in the world.
Each issue of The Artist of Possibility will include the voices of some of today’s most respected paradigm shifting luminaries, as well as contributions offered by our members.
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Extraordinarily Creative An interview with E.J. Gold by Jeff Carreira
When we decided to devote an issue to the transformative power of fiction, I knew that I wanted to speak with E.J. Gold. While E.J. is a prolific author of mainly non-fiction, in my mind, he has some very interesting ties to the world of fiction. First of all, his father, Horace Leonard "H. L." Gold, was the founder and editor of the enormously influential pulp magazine called Galaxy Science Fiction. Also, what is most interesting to me about E. J. is how amazingly creative he is and the way that he mixes elements of fiction in his spiritual writing, giving them a powerful otherworldly quality that I have admired for years. It was a pleasure to speak with E. J., and as you are about to see, our conversation ranged far and wide in a delightful way. Jeff Carreira: First of all, I want to say that it's a real pleasure to speak with you. I've known about you for many years, but we've never had a chance to meet. And you've had a bigger impact on me than you could know. When I first heard about you, I started reading some of your books. In particular, your book Life in the Labyrinth had a big impact on me. More recently, I picked up your book Trump is a Four-Letter Word. And, in that book, you mentioned your earlier book, Slime Wars, so I picked up a copy of that book too. Today, we’ll be talking about the transformative power of fiction and the role that creativity plays on the path of spiritual awakening. One of the great American philosophers of the late 20th century was Richard Rorty, and he eventually came to believe that fiction was a better literary form for conveying subtle philosophical ideas than discursive philosophical essays and texts. Part of his reason for this belief was because, in fiction, ideas can be expressed with emotional content, and that has a more powerful effect than typical academic writing. E.J. Gold: Yes, because there is always a hidden factor in transmitting through fiction rather than through, say, non-fictional reporting. In fact, there are two important differences. One is that fiction involves the reader more deeply by getting them deeper into the experience of the ideas; more directly into the living space of the transmission. But there is another factor, which you could say is that “it lets you slip the dagger in”. This is something I learned from my one of my theater coaches. The story disarms the reader. As Shakespeare said, the listener is disarmed and therefore vulnerable to ideas. A joke is another great vehicle for getting something across. If you want to help a kid understand that they’re not behaving, but you don't want to make them feel upset or wrong, you do it in a funny way. You start a story, “By the way, did I ever tell you about my uncle Harvey? He did exactly what you did…” So, fiction and humor make it easier to get the point across, to stick the dagger in, if you will. Jeff Carreira: I use humor a lot when I teach for exactly that reason, because when people are laughing, they're open and you can slip in profoundly transformative truths, even challenging truths, without them noticing. E.J. Gold: In my art classes, particularly my painting classes, there is something I do at least once in every class. I'll ask people to paint the worst picture they can possibly paint. Make it miserable, wretched, disgusting, obscene, horrible. The worst thing they can do. So bad that no one would ever want to look at it even once, let alone hang it on a wall. The paintings invariably come out beautifully, exactly because they don't care. And they're not invested in the quality of the outcome. It’s a way of diverting our protective coating, which is the height of the lizard brain. There are three parts to the brain and right in the middle - at the core - is a lizard brain that is totally reactive. That's the reptilian brain. Around that you have a median cortex, and then the lobes that actually do most of the higher-level functioning. Most people function largely on the lizard brain. You have to take that into account when you first introduce challenging ideas; you have to be gentle, so you don’t stimulate reactivity. You introduce ideas gently and carefully, so you don't upset the lizard brain with higher ideas. You need to tickle or tease the higher functioning in the person, without engaging the reactivity of the reptilian brain. Jeff Carreira: Can you talk about the transformative impact that writing can have? E.J. Gold: On the one hand, there is the transformation of the author. Authors transform. They can’t help it. If you are going to write the truth, and you are going to end up writing it over and over again, you’ll be forced to find new ways to express it. That process will change you. It is unavoidable. On the other hand, there is the transformation of the reader. The transformation of the writer is not as interesting to me as the change in the reader. I want my readers to change radically. Jeff Carreria: One of the things that has always intrigued me about you is the wide variety of ways that you express yourself creatively. From writing, to music, to acting, to online gaming, and so many other things; you seem to have done almost anything I can think of. E. J. Gold: I don't play the violin, so there are a few things I missed. (laughs) Jeff Carreira: In Life in the Labyrinth, you speak about the condition of maze brightness that sometimes occurs in laboratory rats who seem to awaken to the fact that they are trapped in a maze. You use this as an analogy to say that once we awaken to the fact that we're trapped in life, a deep desire grows in us to continually explore realms beyond the trap. That initiates a journey, and in that journey, our exploration of higher realms and our expression of those realms become flip sides of a coin. What I got from your book was that realms beyond the maze are not just objective places that you find out there waiting for you. They are dimensions that can only be discovered through a higher order learning process, in which our own engagement with those dimensions illuminates them for us. These dimensions beyond the ordinary become accessible to us as long as we can relax our intense habit of familiarizing everything and dragging it back into what we already know. If we can avoid the trap of familiarization, then we can voyage through realms that are beyond our ability to know in any normal sense. E. J. Gold: That's very well put. What I can add to that is a little about my purpose in learning to do so many different things. I want to show you that you can pull in skills and knowledge from other incarnations. You can demonstrate that you've lived before, because you have knowledge that you couldn't possibly have gotten any other way. So, I've done about 200 professional level things that it would be impossible for someone to do in a single lifetime. And I did all that as a way of saying, “Check this out. If I can do this, you can too.” How can you do that? You do it the same way I did, you just pull it in. You trust it's going to be there, and it will be as long as you're open enough. You have to have what I call, a big lifetime footprint, which means you must have at least five or six lifetimes open to you. My motivation in doing so many different things is to demonstrate that we all have a lot of lifetimes that we can draw from. We have a lot of skills, and I mean literally millions, and we can do everything from tailoring, to Ouija board operating. Anything and everything exists somewhere in your lifetime footprint. You want to know how to use an abacus? Give me about five minutes with one and I’ll remember, because I’ve certainly used an abacus before in some other life. I can play about 200 different instruments. Well, 100 of them are percussion, so that's kind of cheating. But still, I can play a couple of hundred instruments. Jeff Carreira: And you're saying that all these skills are coming from other lifetimes. In Life in the Labyrinth, you talk about “drawing down information from the macro dimensions,” which means embodying abilities now that already exist in you in higher dimensions. E. J. Gold: In myself. In yourself. In the higher dimensional state. You can shift right this second into that higher state. It is the state where I say, you're the One. Tag. You're it. I have a couple of techniques of shifting there. Now, let’s loop all this back to our talk about art. First of all, art is a process, not a product. And when you've finished a piece of art - whether it's music or theater or dance or plastic arts - whatever it might be, you have drawn down the composite result of all your experience into that moment of creation. Everything you've ever experienced is embodied in what you're producing right now. You are expressing your idea of the universe at this moment. When people are afraid to move into the higher dimensions of past lives, it's often because they’re afraid of remembering too much and they don't want to get overwhelmed by it all. This is what I tell them. What do you remember when you were two years old? Can you tell me one thing from when you were two years old that you remember? Can you tell me the details of the entire year? We don’t remember everything. Past lives are the same, we don’t get overwhelmed because we don’t remember it all. Here’s what we do to help people remember past lives. We show them a photograph in something we call a past life survey. We put a photograph in front of someone to provoke a memory of the past. And, suddenly, they find themselves in the photograph. They are one of those people in the photo. And I know this will work for you because you were there in 1906, in San Francisco. Eddison sent a team there to make a film from the font of a streetcar traveling down market street. Jeff Carreira: I've seen that video. I was fascinated by it. E. J. Gold: What’s amazing is that you are walking across the street right in front of the cable car. You are walking right in front of the camera. If you look, you’ll see yourself and you’ll say, “Oh, my God, it's me.” I promise that'll happen. It probably has already. You may have recognized yourself, or just got a weird feeling when you saw it. Jeff Carreira: I remember I had seen it somehow accidentally, and I got very mesmerized by it for a few days. I kept watching it over and over again because I found it so fascinating. E. J. Gold: Yes, at that time, we had a little meditation hall up the hill. Two years after that video was shot, there was an earthquake, so we had to rebuild the meditation hall and we had it until 1922. I even have the exact address posted someplace. You can do the research and find out where it was. Jeff Carreira: I'm aware talking to you that I may have absorbed more from your books than I realized. I just finished writing a book called Higher Self Expression, which explores how we can pull into creation information and wisdom from the vastness of our being. I always write spontaneously. So, I don't plan out things beforehand. I just write and I can usually write for about two hours at a time. And when I'm done, I generally don't know what I've written. E. J. Gold: Let me tell you a story about Ray Bradbury. I knew him for many years, and once, when he was being interviewed, someone asked him why he had written a particular story. And he answered, “Because I wanted to find out how it ended.” Jeff Carreira: (laughing) Along those lines, I wrote my first novel last year and I had a very interesting experience. I was typing and I thought the story was going to go one way. But I watched my fingers type something different, and the story went in a different direction. So, where is the story coming from? Who’s writing it? E. J. Gold: Yes. That experience makes you different from most writers. You become like a professional when you let the fingers do the walking. That’s the best way to go. When you write or do anything creative, you should have no idea where you're going. When I start a workshop, I have no idea what I’ll cover. I've got no idea what's going to happen. When I start a comedy routine, I look at my audience and they tell me what they want to hear. The same thing happens when I write. The audience I’m writing for tells me what I should write. I'm providing a service. I'm not informing them. I'm reminding them about what they wanted to know. Jeff Carreira: I feel like I open to what wants to come through, and then it comes. E. J. Gold: Yes, if you're lucky. If it doesn't come through, you experience what's called writer's block. Jeff Carreira: I haven’t experienced that much. E. J. Gold: Well, you probably won't. Writer's block comes from concern about what people think of you. It comes from egotistical considerations, which I'm sure you've dealt with already. But that's the kind of thing a young writer has to learn. Jeff Carreira: I think, in the creative moment, we are both expressing and listening at the same time. You're typing a story that's coming through you, and you’re reading it at the same time. E. J. Gold: Yes, you're the first audience. You'll get a chance to see that story before anybody else does. Jeff Carreira: I was fascinated to see that writing my latest book, which isn't fiction, I still never knew what was going to happen next. I had an idea. And things would keep showing up on the page that I wasn’t expecting. So, as you said, the process was transformative for me first. It took me places I hadn’t intended to go. E. J. Gold: And those inspirations will save you from time to time. Don't edit me, it will say. Let your fingers do the walking, right? For me, creativity is a way of staying alive. I've got lots of ways of being creative, but my job is really to show others that they also have that in them. They've got the creativity; all they need to do is unleash it. Let it go. Let it happen. And that takes courage and it takes a little bit of overcoming fear. That’s the main thing.
e.j. gold
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An interview
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Fernando Pessoa The Author of Many Identities An Interview with Jerónimo Pizarro, PhD by jeff carreira
Section Title
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One of my favorite writers is the Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa, and one of my favorite works of fiction is Pessoa’s The Book of Disquiet. For this reason, I was very happy to have the opportunity to interview Jerónimo Pizarro, one the the world’s leading scholars studying Pessoa’s work. In this interview, we illuminate and unravel the mystery of Portugal’s most famous writer. Jeff: I was hoping you would start by introducing yourself to our readers. I know that you are a scholar specializing in the work of the Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa and that you are the editor of a beautiful new edition of Pessoa’s masterwork The Book of Disquiet. Is there more that you can tell us about yourself? Jerónimo: I wrote my master’s thesis on Pessoa in Lisbon and later did my PhD thesis on Pessoa’s writings on genius and madness. For about five years, I read every book I could find about Pessoa. I wanted to understand why Pessoa had written so much about mental health and why he was so concerned with madness. Eventually, I went to the National Library of Portugal and I found out that less than half of what Pessoa wrote has actually been published. As part of my thesis work, I published over 600 written fragments of Pessoa’s on topics such as hysteria, neurasthenia, depression and decadence. Jeff: You are also the editor of a recent edition of Pessoa’s masterwork The Book of Disquiet. The earliest edition of that book wasn’t published until nearly 50 years after Pessoa’s death. Can you tell us a little bit about why the book went unpublished for so long? Jerónimo: During the years of the Portuguese dictatorship of António de Oliveira Salazar, the book that Fernando Pessoa was known by was one called Message, a book of poems about Portuguese history that was published a year before Pessoa’s death. That book had won a government award and was the book that Pessoa was known for until The Book of Disquiet was published in 1982 and became internationally recognized throughout Europe, England and the United States. The Book of Disquiet is written in a unique style of poetic prose. Pessoa was writing it during the same time period that Franz Kafka was writing and The Book of Disquiet addresses some of the same existentialist themes that literature was occupied with throughout the 20th century. It is a book about many things. It seems to be a concrete story, but it's also a dream. Originally, it was envisioned to be just a short book about decadence, but it expanded in scope to become a book about Lisbon, and about a particular worker in Lisbon, and perhaps about Pessoa himself. We can’t be entirely sure what Pessoa wanted to portray in the book, but all of these things and more seem to be included. Jeff: I adore The Book of Disquiet. I don’t know why, but I just enjoy spending time with it. Jerónimo: Do you feel like you love and hate the book, or is it absolute love? Because upon my first reading I had very contradictory feelings. Jeff: I had that at first too, but today it's all love. The book puts me in a mood of sadness, that particular kind of nostalgic longing that the Portuguese speak of as “saudades”, but it also propels me into a deep contemplation of the meaning of existence. Of course, I'm interested in spiritual awakening, and I see Pessoa as an as an awakened soul in the early decades of 20th century Lisbon. He described a powerful experience of emptiness in my favorite passage from The Book of Disquiet: “And I, I myself, am the center that exists only because the geometry of the abyss demands it. I am the nothing around which all this spins. I exist so that it can spin. I am a center that exists only because every circle has one.” I love that passage. Jerónimo: It is a very beautiful passage. And I agree there is some nostalgia and sadness in The Book of Disquiet, but it's not sadness for sadness’ sake. It is important to remember that Pessoa himself did not see “saudades“ as a defining characteristic of the Portuguese people. The sadness in The Book of Disquiet is not pessimistic. It is not based in a belief that life is terrible and difficult. There is a spiritual dimension to the book because Pessoa knows that there are higher dimensions to his being. He knows his larger self, and his sadness comes from the sense of limitation he feels in his current form. I think that Pessoa knows all humans have reason to feel nostalgic about life because life is so fleeting and we are so small, doing small things every day. We see only a tiny part of the entire universe. Even in our dreams, we don't see the whole. So, I think Pessoa touches on a universal longing for wholeness in his writing. He was not interested in just the Portuguese identity. He was fascinated by our human identity. Some of The Book of Disquiet was written after Pessoa met Aleister Crowley in the 1930’s, and at that time, he was reading and writing a lot about spiritual initiation and the occult. There is as much unpublished written work of Pessoa on these esoteric subjects than there is in The Book of Disquiet, maybe more, and most of it is written in English. Jeff: I'm very curious about Pessoa’s spiritual writings and I don’t know that any of it has been published in English. Jerónimo: No, not a thing. It's urgent and it’s absurd, there are more than 10,000 documents written in English that have not yet been published, and maybe 3,000 are esoteric and may be classified as spiritual writings. They don’t even need to be translated. And most of his spiritual writings on Esotericism, Theosophy, Hermeticism, Rosicrucianism, Occultism, and the practice of automatic writing, are in English. I would love to see these writings published in a good English edition. Jeff: Fernando Pessoa today is largely considered to be the most important Portuguese writer of the 20th century and The Book of Disquiet is largely thought of as being his most important work. The issue I'm interviewing you for is about the transformative power of fiction. The Book of Disquiet defies the traditional label of fiction. Can you speak about that? Jerónimo: Many of the greatest writers of the 20th century were redefining fiction. Kafka was doing that, Jorge Luis Borges was doing that, and Pessoa was doing that also. In his writing, Pessoa is showing us that there are many layers of reading. He is more or less telling us that everything is, in a sense, fiction. You will never know exactly who you are, what your identity is, or what the “I” is. It's almost a dialog with Freud. Pessoa knows that any identity is, or could be, a fiction. He knows that he has more than one identity. He constructed at least a hundred and thirty-six fictional identities that he wrote through. So, for someone living in the middle of so many fictional creations with such a complex way of understanding reality and identity, he felt that we could not be so dogmatic about either reality or identity. Pessoa was writing after Nietzsche and he was discussing the death of God and the death of so many of life’s certainties. And this was happening at the start of a century that was redefining truth and fiction, in powerful new ways. He, like many of the existentialist writers of the time, felt that it was more interesting and more valuable to write about what we were not certain about rather than what we were. Pessoa was a true master of fiction, and our modern understanding of fiction and literature is in large part due to him and other writers of that time. Jeff: Before we finish with this discussion, I would like to ask you to speak about Pessoa’s exploration of identity because that seems to be such an important part of his work. Jerónimo: Pessoa wrote as many different identities or personalities. He began creating those when he was six years old. He referred to his three main identities (Alberto Caeiro, Ricardo Reis and Alvaro de Campos) as heteronyms to differentiate them from pseudonyms. He did not see himself as one author writing under different names. Each heteronym was a different character with a unique history and style of writing. He continued to create new authors and write under them for many years. The first parts of The Book of Disquiet were were written by Fernando Pessoa himself. Five or six years later, the authorship shifted to a semi-heteronym named Vincente Guedes, and later, it shifted again to a third personality, Bernardo Soares. In many ways, Pessoa was just another personality, not very different than Guedes or Soares. Pessoa was always trying to distance himself from himself. He was partially himself, but only partially, and sometimes he was not himself at all. Pessoa lived his life continually being people other than himself, which meant he had to rediscover who he was and find new voices. He was not interested in writing in a single style so that he'd remain always recognizable. He wanted to write as many people. For him, identity was not something constant and clear. It was something that was created every day. That's a very different relationship to identity. And I think it's very modern. Now, in the age of the internet and social media, we are constantly playing with identity. It's always in flux. It can change. It's a play. It's a game. Jeff: I have one final question. Why do you think people should care about an early 20th century writer from a small country like Portugal? What makes Fernando Pessoa so important today? Jerónimo: This is a big question and I won’t be able to finish with it here, but, I think Pessoa is important today because his writing creates a sense of disquiet. When you read The Book of Disquiet, you become disquiet. It unsettles you. It troubles you in productive ways that force you to reconsider what life is all about. Pessoa was a master of fiction, a master of literary creation. He was one of the last of the universalist writers. He did not believe that an author should reveal their one and only true self. For him, it was through literature that we could live many lives and have many experiences. Reading and writing allowed us to constantly move through very different emotions. He did not want to be limited to just one understanding of himself and one understanding of reality. He wanted to travel through different philosophies, into different understandings of life. He was an author who understood clearly the power of fiction.
Let's Begin...
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For this issue, I had the pleasure of talking with award-winning author, Eliza Robertson, Ph.D. Eliza is originally from Vancouver, and now lives in Montreal – which is where I got the opportunity to meet her, thanks to a dance class we were taking together. Eliza has won several awards and titles for her writings. For example, her critically acclaimed first novel, Demi-Gods, was a Globe & Mail and National Post book of the year and the winner of the 2018 QWF Paragraphe Hugh MacLennan Prize. She is also a pretty badass astrologer, if you ask me, having had the opportunity to receive a reading from her a few years back. She studied at the Faculty of Astrology in London, as well as with Chris Brennan on his Hellenistic Astrology course. Moreover, along with two of her peers, Eliza has an astrology podcast called Kosmic Tonic. Enjoy the interview! Ariela: Hello Eliza, thank you so much for being here today. I am excited to introduce you to our readers, so let’s jump right in. Based on some of your online material, you describe yourself as having two lives: One as an author and one as an astrologer. And, in this issue of our spiritual magazine, we're discussing the transformative power of fiction. So, I thought that the combination of your two lives would be perfect for this issue! Maybe we could start by just giving you the chance to introduce yourself to our readers. Eliza: So, I'm someone who has made most of my important decisions almost overnight. It really is an intuitive process, even though I don't always think of it that way. Well, I thought for a long time that I wanted to be a lawyer — actually, from the age of 11. I chose a high school based on the fact that it had a law career preparation program. That’s why I took political science in my undergraduate years at the University of Victoria. And then, one day, in 2008, I just thought, you know, I'm going to try a creative writing class. I literally walked across campus one day and changed my major to Fine Arts, and then started taking writing classes. But it wasn't an immediate success. My first two terms of writing were a bit of a shock to my ego. However, I learned a lot, and by the end of that year, I was utterly enchanted and consumed by it. And then there was no turning back. I just kept going down that road; I never applied to law school and went to writing school instead. Ariela: What enchanted you about writing? Eliza: It was very much the writing process. I remember feeling like it was an act of magic. I've always been mystically inclined. I didn't have any solid practices at that point, but I remember feeling that there was something miraculous in the writing process, in that it didn't seem to be totally coming from me when I was writing my first stories. I actually feared losing it at that time. I remember doing this ritual on New Year’s Eve, inviting the ideas to keep coming, for fear that it was a fluke and that I wouldn’t be able to keep doing it. I was trying to engage with something beyond and asking them not to abandon me. Magical subject matter has also been included in my stories as well. I've always been inclined to write about transformative human experiences such as grief and loss. That's been a major theme in my writing, but the way I’ve conveyed that has been through magic in some way, or some kind of enchanted reality. That was a theme in my very first stories. I remember writing about a young girl who was homeless and I remember the image of having a white feathered peacock wandering through Montreal. For some reason, this was the image that I had. I guess, what I'm saying is, magic has crept into the content but it also was a part of my relationship to the process itself early on. Ariela: Is magic still part of the process now? Eliza: Definitely. And maybe it's actually come full circle now that I think about it; astrologically speaking. Since it’s been 12 years that I started writing, and twelve years is a Jupiter cycle – which means that the planet Jupiter, now, is located where it was then. And Jupiter is known as a gift-giving planet… But to answer your question: Yeah, I would say absolutely. As I pursued my studies as a graduate, writing became more analytical, more scholarly, and I became more jaded. I have always been very ambitious and perfectionistic, aiming to achieve highly, and I can be very hard on myself. So, I would always compare myself to peers and that became toxic.I n terms of my relationship with writing, it darkened and became worldly — that was during my time in England. I would say that moving to Montreal has in some ways changed that. I stepped back from social media, and found again some of that contentment with my writing. It helps that not all of my friends are writers. Not everyone I know has a book, and I don't doubt that helps. Ariela: Do you feel like astrology has also helped you bring some of that enchantment back in your writings? Eliza: Yeah, absolutely. And I will answer this in mundane terms as well as in more magical terms, because I think they both relate. So, Montreal was another one of those overnight decisions. I came very close to going into academia in England. And then I decided, I'm just going to have a go at being a writer in Montreal and also being an astrologer. And, I actually think that this commitment and implicit faith in that decision has, on some ethereal level, helped or allowed things to come into my life that otherwise wouldn't have had the opportunity. So, with regards to my interest in astrology, I've always been mystically inclined, as I said. I was reading tarot cards from a young age. I used to look for ghosts with my cousin as a kid. I also grew up in the 90s, during a time when “witchiness” was really cool. But it was in my 20s that I decided to study astrology more seriously. As for my magical relationship with writing and astrology… I have a statue of Hermes, the Greek God associated with Mercury, a planet linked with writing. So, I will work with the statue to invoke Mercury or engage with that planetary energy in a mindful way when embarking on a writing project. Ariela: Has astrology influenced your writing? Eliza: I'm sure it has. I would say it's influenced the subject matter at the beginning. When I first started studying, I wrote a story that I called Autobiography that was based on my birth chart, although, when I read back over it now, there was a lot about astrology I did not know. Now, astrology feels like a second language that I speak without meaning to. So, it influences my writing on a more implicit level. I really do consider any creative act — and funneling it down, any creative writing – to be a magical process. It's a form of enchantment and fascination and charm to be moved by language and to be the author of that language. It is a form of charming the reader. So, I think you can really view it in that capacity. And I do. I try to. Well, it makes it more interesting for me. Ariela: Yeah. And, in line with our definition of what is an Artist of Possibility - a person who is able to reach into potentials and possibilities that don't exist yet, and to use a creative medium to communicate those potentials - do you believe that there's something that can be conveyed through writing that's in line with new possibilities, new potentials? And how does that affect both the writer and the reader? Eliza: Yeah, absolutely. So, I would say it's a charm for the author in so much as they are orchestrating or conducting that charm, and they might be charmed as well. But the object is, in some ways, to charm the reader or to affect them. I'll give you an example. I am teaching a writing class right now, for business students, at McGill University. We were reading an article that was discussing police brutality in neighborhoods in Brooklyn. And the author would use the word “unhoused” instead of “homeless” when he was referring to homeless people. And that's a really subtle rhetorical gesture because when you use the word “unhoused”, there is an implicit link to the question: “By whom?” It doesn't put the onus of being homeless on the individual without a home. It implies at least another person for someone to “unhouse” someone else. So, it's very subtle, and a reader may only pick up on it on subliminal levels, but it's a way of removing responsibility from the person without a home and putting that responsibility on the system, saying, actually, it's our job to take care of the mess. You could call this rhetoric. You could also call it a charm of a sorts. He's crafting language in a very particular way to suggest something without saying it directly. Ariela: Yes. I love that. The author is using a charm or a spell because that one word allows us to filter things completely differently. And like you said, probably in very subtle ways. So, what do you see as the transformative power of the stories that you write? Eliza: My main writerly preoccupation has been with grief processes. I have mobilized or metabolized my own grief through the act of writing, as well as my own anger and my own sadness when it comes to loss and other topics. I've worked those out and worked through those through writing. But I would say you can showcase that process happening with your characters. For example, how is the character responding to the loss? I think that's the main common thread of my story collection, Wallflowers. Every one of those characters is alone for some reason, either of their own volition or they've lost somebody. How are they able to navigate that solitude? Those themes are in my novel too, to some extent. I am also currently writing a non-fiction account of someone who was murdered. There's something about writing a book about a person that makes them endure beyond their lifetime, and beyond the lifetimes of those who loved her. There's an important contribution to the collective consciousness, in the publishing of a book, that is lasting. It is almost talismanic in a way. Like you're carving something into you, into stone, into a mirror in the world. I also think books can be really wonderful companions. So, I aim to have my reader feel a little less alone; to have the book serve as a companion of sorts. Maybe a strange companion, as I'm not known for writing really easy or straightforward books. My books have been described as weird. They've been described as dark on occasion. But I think they could still be companionable. Ariela: Yes, that’s also part of the magic of books, the way they keep us company. So, we talked about your life as an author, but you are also an astrologer. What do you see as the purpose of your astrological work? Eliza: There are many answers to this question. So, I would say one of the major services I can offer, through my consultations, is helping someone. To help them remember their own enchantment. To see the planetary archetypes that are alive in them, and in their chart, as guides or Earth influences. In many ways, it is about creating stories that lead people out, that empower people, and help them make sense of things. We all go through dark moments and have moments that are incredibly trying. But what's going on astrologically? It can help to know, and to also know that there is an endpoint. I can see what's going on here astrologically and I can see when a lot of the energy will pass. That can be very soothing. It can create a sense of meaning, too, like a feeling or trust. OK, I'm going through this for a reason, and it will end. So that's a major part of my practice. Equipping someone with more myth; reimagining how they view their own lives and making more sense of their difficulties. But I can also offer very simple strategies that have a lot to do with timing. I do electional astrology, which means I elect times and dates to begin ventures. So, if you're a dancer and you want to submit a grant application to put on a show, we could figure out when would be the most auspicious time to hit submit. Or if you want to have a really delicate conversation with your partner, maybe you don't choose the time when Mars retrograde is in the 7th house(laughs). It’s about finding the best possible moment to do something. So, it can have a very practical use as well as the more numinous. And personally, astrology has definitely brought me greater self-understanding and self-awareness. At an earlier time in my life, it gave me a language to express my needs and to express what I was feeling, as I had a lot of difficulty even identifying my emotions before the age of 30. So, getting to really know my own birth chart for a number of years gave me more of a language, more of an understanding about myself. And now I would say I don't necessarily need the astrology as much to express those things. It still helps. It'ssomething I always have in my back pocket. Ariela: It’s wonderful to hear all the ways that astrology has transformed both you, and the clients who consult you. I would like to finish with one last question. You mentioned that when you started writing, it felt like something was coming through you. Is that something that you still experience as you write? Eliza: Yeah. Definitely. Not always. At times. There's a lot of drudgery involved with writing a book-length manuscript. But certainly, there are times where my head or my hands feel guided in some way, or I'm not conscious of what I'm writing. It's just written. It's a process that happens. It feels like a sinking in. Like you're in a meditative state. It's trance-like. I actually can't write with someone else in the room because I realize I can't descend deep enough. And, if I am in that trance-like state of writing and someone interrupts me, it's like being jolted out of sleep. And also, I definitely still commune with the planets. I remember, at the end of 2018, I climbed the Hill of the Muses in Athens; that's where I bought my Hermes figure. I did a sort of self-created ritual at the top of the Hill of the Muses and left them offerings. I also wrote a poem that day, which is not typical for me. I don't tend to write poetry, that's not my genre. Ariela: And how do you explain that trance-like state? Do you feel like it comes from the stars or the planets? Eliza: I don't think the stars are necessarily speaking through me, but there is maybe a sense of intimacy with these higher intelligences. So rather than it coming from them, to me, it's more like we’re in tune.
eliza robertson
Photo By Angel Aura angel-aura.com
Artists of Possibility Among Us: Meet Eliza Robertson by Ariela Cohen
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If you want to know more about Eliza, both as an author and as an astrologer, check out her websites: www.elizarobertson.com and www.kosmictonic.com
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Freed Freedom Letters from a Sri Lankan Seeker to Her Meditation Master by Amy Edelstein
freed freedom
A book review
In 1986, The Buddhist Cultural Center did something highly unusual. It collected the original letters between a female septuagenarian householder meditator and an esteemed Sri Lankan Theravadan meditation master, about her very personal experience and progress meditating over seven years, and his very focused assessment of her attainment and guidance on the path, and published them. Now for some of us who are used to the breadth of spiritual memoirs of today, where so many individuals have written about their path, this may not feel so out of the ordinary. Or even, for that matter, that interesting. What relevance does an elderly Sri Lankan woman, who discovered breath meditation (the practice of Anapanasati) late in life, have to the trials and tribulations of meditators in the West? Well, for those needing a little inspiration and justification to invest energy in their practice during these culturally turbulent times, quite a bit. You see, all too many meditators look at classic mindfulness only as a way to maintain focus in an ADHD world. Or to calm down when the news or traffic raises your hackles. It’s thought of as therapy or as a first step to quiet down racial stress or trauma triggers. But these days, it’s rarely looked at as an actual graduated path to profound insight and liberation from the bonds of false and limited views that cause suffering and perpetuation of a life ruled by ignorance and delusion. So when I cracked open this book and began to read exchange after exchange between this unlikely upasika (seeker) and her teacher, I was dumbfounded by what I found. Each concise and earnest letter describes her journey into higher and higher states of absorption. She articulates her conclusions and requests clarification. How far has she gotten on the path? Is her energetic experience an indication of a significant spiritual insight or not? Should she push ahead or loosen up? I’d never found anything remotely like this collection of correspondence. I had stumbled on a precious gem, right in the middle of the bustling second floor of the Colombo airport last year, as I waited for my flight back to the US. In Asia, you can still walk into a bookstore in any train station or airport and find works by great spiritual masters like Vivekananda and Yogananda, Ramakrishna and Ramana Maharshi, and classical texts like the Buddha’s Suttas or the Bhagavad Gita. In Colombo, you also find paperbacks from the Buddhist Publication Society (BPS) in Sri Lanka, perhaps the greatest English language Theravadan publishing house, founded by the German monk Nyanaponika Thera. BPS has been responsible for keeping the classic translations and commentaries on the Pali Canon in print, providing scriptural sustenance for seekers and scholars alike. As I was perusing the books, looking for a way to spend my last local rupees, I scanned over authors and titles familiar to me from my time at Buddhist Viharas in India in 1983. I found classics by Nyanaponika Thera (1901-1994), Bhikkhu Bodhi (b.1944), a warm and happy Brooklyn born Jew who ordained in 1967 while still a graduate student in the US, and by Soma Thera (1898 – 1960), a Sinhalese Catholic who became a Buddhist as a teen, studied in Japan, translated Buddhist texts from Chinese to English and received higher ordination as a monk in Burma. These monastics were my companions in my early years of practice. Their works taught me all about the wheel of cyclic existence and the Buddha’s life from privileged prince to extreme ascetic to Middle Way realizer, to effusive orator and community builder. Those thin paperbacks revealed the definitions and cultivation of righteousness, wisdom, purity, and humility, and the jhanas (or states of meditative insight). Through them, I learned Pali words like metta (loving kindness), mitra (spiritual friendliness), and mudita (sympathetic joy). I contemplated the concept of ehipassiko (open-handedness or come and see for yourself); the gesture of a proffered palm, extended, giving wisdom teachings freely, and asking nothing in return. I learned about the Buddha’s injunctions to be a lamp on one’s own way, exhorting us to discern and experiment for ourselves, to not take doctrine on faith but rather through observation and analysis. These texts also imbued in me the urgency to take the possibility of enlightenment or liberation from false and wrong views as a real and practical aspiration and goal to strive for, in this life, in this birth. So, when I opened Freed Freedom: Letters from a Sri Lankan Seeker to Her Meditation Master ,I found an account that spoke to me from many sides: an independent woman practitioner engaging seriously on her own with no social supports; clear analysis and advice from one who has studied as well as experienced; dedication, discipline and discernible fruits from meditation well practiced; and a door to the deeper and deeper wisdom that is possible if we follow our curiosity without limits. The introduction to Freed Freedom explains to us that The Maha Satipatthana Sutta (the Buddha’s discourse on mindfulness) tells us two things. It assures us that there is a path of purification and the ending of grief, and a way to realize freedom or Nibbana. It guarantees that “if anyone were to develop them at most for seven years or least for seven days”[i] one could gain real fruits of higher knowledge. This book included correspondence over seven years with an unnamed author and a teacher, referred to only by his venerable title, not by an individual name. The master’s letters are written by one of his attendants, communicating his responses directly to the upasika or seeker. The book’s Table of Contents is divided into these sections: Anapanasathi (mindfulness practice); Vipassana (Insight Knowledge); Sotapanna (Stream Enterer); Sakadagami (Once Returner); Anagami (Non Returner). Intriguing. I started reading like a moth drawn to a flame. The letters start in May 1979 with precise instructions about the practice of following the breath. This back and forth correspondence continued, punctuated by references to periodic in-person visits. The master comments, guides, and refers to the Buddha’s injunction to assess her own experience; to test and determine for herself. Here’s an example of one of his more technical instructions from midway through her journey. (Note: brackets indicate my additions and comments; parentheses are from the original text.) 3rd November 1984 ….”What one has to do is purify the mind gradually allowing Panna [wisdom] to grow (refer to “Seven Stages of Purification”). Saddha [trust or faith] is of varying degrees, but it is not mere blind faith. It is confidence, developing together with understanding (i.e. Panna). For one develops Saddha in the Buddha, Dhamma [teachings about discernment into the nature of reality, also defined as Buddhist doctrine], and Sangha [community of practitioners] only when he [she in this case!] really understands the qualities they represent. For an example, when one realizes “Annicca” [impermanence] directly through his [her] own bodily and mental processes, his [her] Saddha on the aspect of the Dhamma would be established firmly, thus in the Buddha and Sangha as well. When developed highly, Saddha becomes a force (Bala) and a controlling faculty (Indriya). How long have you been sitting in meditation at a time? Usually sitting down should not exceed one and a half hours. This period should be determined according to one’s physical conditions too. Wishing you every success in this very life.”[ii] Who was he? As far as I can discern, the meditation master is Mitirigala Nissarana Vanaya. Who is he responding to? Revealed in the afterward is a memoriam to Miriam de Saram (b. 1908 – d. 1999), the highly spirited seeker who was a lifelong member of the Protestant Church of England. Born in 1908, Miriam married a lawyer, mothered four children whom she raised on her own, and was a member of the Ceylon cultural elite. She had a highly discriminating and analytical intellect, was known to like to drive quite fast, was a classically trained Kandyan and South Indian dancer, and was accustomed to following her own will, interests, and passions regardless of social convention. She was, in many regards, a woman after my own heart. Miriam’s interest in penetrating into the nature of reality began at the ripe young age of 71. It was a passion that took her very far in this latter stage of her life. In some sense, the details of the two letter writers are less relevant than the meditative journey and the substance discussed. The salient ingredient for me was that this correspondence took place during the same years I was seeking and meditating; meaning, it occurred not in the distant past, but close enough to touch. And it followed real experiences and guidance that vibrate with a ring of authenticity. For those curious to hear a little of her journey, I have pulled a few excerpts; though to really appreciate the immediacy and inquiry of this unlikely meditator, I can only encourage you to read the correspondence from cover to cover and engage in the same ardent practice yourself. 8th March 1986 “…Now after an experience last night I think I was wrong in my judgement (then expressed). This new experience I think may be nearer the Pahala condition [fruits]. Its signal characteristic were (1) Disappearance of all vibrations, (2) heart beats, (3) breathing (the breath seemed to travel inwards in my chest and gradually disappeared). So there was nothing existent except the awareness of a wonderful peace and rest.”[iii] [M.S.] 8th April 1986 “…Though the description of your insight build-up for a higher path is convincing, the Venerable Thero recommends these tests so that you could verify for yourself whether the pull towards the highest has had any significant result.”[iv] [Ven. N.T.] 12th April 1986 “…I felt every atom of my mind and body had changed into an intangible substance which held within itself unknown heights of power (from the electric force), bliss and Joy (gained in Samapatti) [one of four attainments]. Till now, they have been separate. But now they are united in some unknown alloy. It is only in stillness that this can be obtained. Power and strength, peace and joy can be found in stillness.”[v] [M.S.] 24th April 1986 “….in this instance of a continuous awareness of nothing . . . . you were confronted with Nibbana as the object which is visankhara – the very absence of sankharas [the karmic momentum that leads to dependent origination]. He too wonders whether this clearer vision of Nibanna is the result of your attaining the Fruit of the Second Path, but he re-iterates that the onus of proof is on you. And with this, I shall put down his instructions in general on how to proceed …”[vi] [Ven. N.T.] I invite and encourage you to read this book following the questions of a novice meditator and leading all the way to the experiences of a non-returner. I wish for you, as you read, that the sublime quality of mudita or sympathetic joy awakens in your heart. May you experience the immediacy of Miriam’s journey and the penetrating discernment of Venerable Nayaka Thero’s responses. May the awakening of joy yield the fruit of renewed inspiration. And may you re-commit to your own practice without delay, in faith and conviction that the riches of insight, purification, and release await those who ardently and diligently apply themselves to the path of freedom. [i]Freed Freedom: Letters from a Sri Lankan Seeker to her Meditation Master. (Dehiwala, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Cultural Centre): 10. [ii]Ibid, 61-62. [iii]Ibid, 104. [iv]Ibid, 115. [v]Ibid, 121. [vi]Ibid, 127.
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The Artist of Possibility is a publication of The Mystery School for a New Paradigm, an online global community of inspired and awakening individuals whose members are invited to create contributions. Submissions are open to all enrolled members of the Mystery School. If you'd like to become a member, please visit: https://mysteryschool-memberscircle.com/
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Touching The Light In the womb of Infinite Self where my heart beats I can hear the whispers of my soul Reaching out to a cosmic experience of expansion and awe In the intimacy of stillness The expansiveness of galaxies Exist in the very fibers of my being I reach a depth that turns around as a toroid where here is there and there is here and the subtle is present The chirps of birds remind me of a wonderful planet that is home for the Divine for the time being.
Touching The Light A Poem by Adriana Colotti Comel
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The Spontaneous Writing Circle Words without thought The Spontaneous Writing Circle is a peer-led group of 14 Mystery Circle members that meet as two groups on Zoom, weekly or bi-weekly, for 90 minutes. In 3 timed sessions, a member will read a poem or excerpt of prose after which we write what’s present to us, unedited and uncensored. The intention is to have the words appear while any effort to create them is surrendered. We then read our writings to each other and thank the reader, yet no critique is offered. This absence of distinctions and value judgements has created an open and lively space of ease, appreciation and creativity and a constant experience of wonder. Here is a selection of writings from the circle and each member’s description of their experience. Deborah Kaplan peer-group leader
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Entries From The Spontaneous Writing Circle
I am loving Spontaneously Writing! At first I found it difficult to find a creative spark; just write without judgment or trying to make it BE something. Being in the beautiful space that the members hold I began to relax with the process. Once that happened, I found great joy in simply allowing what wants to come forward into being via my pen. I let go. There is a sense of being a steward for my own heart, and a channel for a higher part of me and us, to be expressed and nurtured, acknowledged and honored. Thank you, Deborah Kaplan, for being a superb host for this judgment free zone and beautiful sacred space to explore. How long will you hide? I will hide away beyond the wooded places Until the cries can be heard by the four-legged things. Miles away, echoing… Until even the buzzing bees and the crawling flying things Stop to Listen. Alert. Still. All the world will stop to hear the cries Of my breaking heart, muffled in hiding. Then, in one deepest breath All will watch The peeling away of the false persona Who said it couldn’t be done Who said it doesn’t matter Who said I’m sorry, not now. She will glow like the sun. She who arises to each day, because she cannot not. And like the sun she appears Unbridled. Unabashed. Uncontained. Giving life to all things. Saying Yes to all things – unafraid. No such thing as hiding. She is light. She is free. She is me. by Liz Stone
I joined the creative writing circle to hopefully broaden the spectrum of my spirit. I wanted to try and resurrect my latent joy of writing, hidden for a long long time in lengthening procrastination. Each week we listen to a reading from a different member and meditate on any words that connect. We each spend time creating our own journey from those words. It always amazes me how others come up with such profound insights in their writing. The privilege of listening to their sharing is immense, recognizing their words could only have come from their deepness within .“ I could never do that” I erroneously told myself.I ’m amazed at my self when sometimes the perceived pressure of time takes over. My mind is a complete blank, I accept the chaos but then reach within for present moment words It’s then creation that holds the pen. I thank Deborah for creating this group alongside all it’s participants. Together, in the depth of a vulnerable trust to listening and sharing our words, I’ve grown to realize this really is Holy Ground. PROCRASTINATION Pro- cras- tin - a - tion time… time...time... time…. tick tock time tick tock tick tock time Unattained fulfilment Why? And that’s the curious mystery. tick tocktick tocktick tocktick tock tomorrow,tomorrow,tomorrow, tomorrow.tomorrow The trickster’s joke of perpetual disappointment pulled into the void of nothing ever started Self imposed frustration self imposed guilt Why? And that’s the curious mystery No more thinking…..no more thinking….no more thinking No more self destruction No more judging...judging Only floating in the void of a deep awareness Mindful of what is NOW And my Spirit is dancing in Blissful Creativity. by Linda Granville
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I use this body to experience my very nature Only through Polarity of Grief and Blessings Could I really understand the Impermanence of it all? Including this Body that Grieves I honor Grief because it sweeps away that which that stands my way It alerts me to realize that I have no control And yet I do have control to be Present Blessed I am in spite of the hiccups of Grief I learn the Fluidity of Life How could I not see it as Blessings? The loss of a loved one generated Grief only to recognize the Blessings of those that are living Nothing, nothing, nothing is Permanent What then am I to expect from this flowing life The whole seems to hold both Grief & Blessings My learning then is to respect each season Stop looking at it as if it is permanent Release attachment Respect feelings Notice feelings that generate emotions are all temporary Nothing stays the same And each emotion whether it be Grief or Blessing It is there to move me to a Higher Plane A space where I have never been to My curiosity gets heightened as I ask What Grief brings to me What Blessing brings me Each interchangeably I recognize is a Gift by Shashu Habtu
I joined the writing circle to improve my writing. It has been rewarding and a wonderful experience. The whole set up has encouraged me to freely write. It has elevated my writing to a higher level. I would like to highlight the conducive environment that has helped me in my writing. 1. Reading a poem to trigger the writing; 2. Taking turns weekly to read poems that we each source; 3. Spontaneous writing; 4. Each of us reading our writing out loud; 5. Acknowledgment of our writing by each member of the group; 6. No one critiques our writing. So now I have come to consider myself a writer. Thus, I am confident enough to share my writing to the greater circle of the mystery school members now. The Mystery of Grief and Blessing Grief that triggers tears rolling down my face Grief that stirs up each strand of my body Grief that makes me yearn for my beloveds to resurrect As I am gripped by Grief Each cell in my body cries out And the accumulation of the feelings Squeezed out of my body End up pouring tears These tears are sometimes frantic Sometimes smoothly flowing like a water fall I experience the different facets of Grief Without hindering its expression Calm takes over as I surrender to what is Elevated to a different knowing I find myself Blessing my Grief It is the very act of letting go That propels closure to my Grief I then realize Grief swept me to Blessings after washing away what blocked me Grief Expressed by my tears It has become a Doorway to understand that I have no control over anything At the root of Grief is a seed A seed ready to solidify around itself and be rooted like a tree It is a seed to the sacred land of knowing who I am I am not the flesh and blood that is a gateway to tears I am a sacred force with no location
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