A Force for Good
May-Jun 2021
On Purpose Woman
FREE
On Purpose Woman Magazine is published bi-monthly online. We reserve the right to edit or reject any material submitted. Neither the publishing team or the advertisers accept responsibility for errors. Publication and distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing for any reason. To reproduce articles, always credit On Purpose Woman Magazine with the link to the issue. Also, credit the author and leave their bio and contact info intact.
On Purpose Woman Publisher/Editor Ginny Robertson Creative Director Kathryn Yarborough Contributing Writers: Carol Burbank Kim Wells Eley Danielle Grosse Patti Hornstra Andrea Hylen Mary E.Knippel Ellen Koronet Jean McGavin Becky Premock Dawn Shuler Karen Tasto Edie Weinstein Kathryn Yarborough Cover Art By: Lani Chaves
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Ginny Robertson, Founder On Purpose Woman Community Founder/Editor On Purpose Woman Magazine
Kathryn Yarborough, Global Facilitator On Purpose Woman Community Creative Director On Purpose Woman Magazine
On Purpose Woman Magazine & The On Purpose Woman Community Stand With Our Friends and Colleagues Black Lives Matter For 20 years, the On Purpose Woman Community has welcomed and encouraged all women to join us in “connecting women around the world to their gifts, their purpose, and each other.” On Purpose Woman Magazine has always been committed to diversity within our pages. We embrace diversity. We will work harder to practice inclusion. We will use our platforms of privilege to do both.
Inside On Purpose Woman...
10 Letter from the Publisher Ginny Robertson 12 Can You Love and Accept Yourself As Is? Edie Weinstein 22 What’s in a Spotlight? Ellen Koronet 30 Lessons Learned From a Fractured Foot Dawn Shuler 36 I Love You; I Just Don’t Understand You Patti Hornstra 42 Black Women-Owned Business Directory 44 Three Ways to Help a Hurting Friend: A Barista’s Crash Course Danielle Grosse 54 Unleash Your Glad Game Mary E. Knippel 60 What Motivates You? Kathryn Yarborough 70 A Prayer For Mothering Yourself Karen Tasto 74 Cover Art Lani Chaves 82 Stepping into Your Full Potential Andrea Hylen 88 On Purpose Woman Global Community Member Directory 96 Calendar of Events 98 Beauty Should Be Good for You…Avoid Greenwashing Becky Premock 100 Real Women. Real Purpose. Talk Show Interviews 102 Launching Your Amazing Book! Celebrate Your Success Kim Wells Eley 110 Memories As Fuel For Innovation: The Creation of History Chip Jean McGavin 116 Discernment: Measuring the Unknown Carol Burbank, Ph.D
Thank You to Our Advertisers Andrea Hylen * Art of Healing * Baltimore Organizer * Brave Healer Productions * Coach Claudette * Coaching By Shelly * DoraVilk * Earthsave Baltimore * Elizabeth McCain * Epilogue Tributes * Jackie Hunter * Judie Harvey Editorial Midwife * Julia Mattis Re/Max Advantage * KWE Publishing * Lilia Shoshanna Rae * Maryland Nursing Care * Lisa Diane McCall * Marci Yankelov Real Estate * Mary E. Knippel * Me Myself & Money * Mended Digital * Newberg Financial * Nourishing Journey * Renu 28 * Sahffi * Soul-utions Hypnosis * Storyweaving Coaching and Consulting * The Heart’s Voice Movement * Veronica Grey * Wise & Well Center at Keswick * Your Best Midlife * The Wellness Universe
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From the Publisher Kathryn Yarborough and I are grateful that you've taken the time to open this new issue. Here, you'll find all kinds of ways to grow your mind, body, spirit & business. This magazine is a labor of love, and we'd love for you to share it with your women friends and colleagues. Our advertisers are why you receive the magazine for free. Please check here when you are looking for support or to enhance your personal/professional life. I'm especially excited to tell you about a quiz opportunity making its debut on these pages. Go to page 22 and read the article by quiz developer Ellen Koronet and then take the quiz on page 27 to see If You're Ready for the "Spotlight." If you've been to any of my in-person or online gatherings or seen me on Facebook, you know that I'm all about shining a light on women and giving them opportunities to be seen and heard. Spotlights come in all sizes, and not everyone wants to be on a stage; but think about the greater impact you may want to make in your family, your community, your work, your world…and how shining your light more brightly can affect change. I have this vision of the quiz going viral, so please feel free to share it with your friends, family, and colleagues. Something else I'm excited about is the new On Purpose Woman Global Community website. Created by Amanda Schwarz of Mended Digital, it is the place to find out everything you want to know about the Community: calendar of events, membership options, how to advertise, write or be a cover artist for the magazine, and more. Go here to take a look. As we step more fully into spring and ease our way out of what has been, for so many, a dark time, I'm feeling hopeful about what is already here and what is to come. I wish only the best for you and yours.
Ginny
Can You Love and Accept Yourself As Is? By Edie Weinstein
Brene Brown is one of my fangirl crushes. Terry Gross, the host of the NPR classic, Fresh Air, is another. I’m not sure when I initially discovered someone who I have come to refer to as one of Oprah’s darlings. Like me, Brene is a social worker, writer, and speaker. I easily identified with her struggle at times with the twin fears of shame and vulnerability. Even after one of her kick-ass TEDtalks when she was criticized for her appearance and style, she dove deep into personal exploration, stood her ground, and then used it as fodder for her next presentations. I found myself cheering for her and everyone who ever doubted their greatness because someone had a negative comment. One of my favorite things to do is teach CEU (Continuing Education) classes for licensed social workers. I get such a thrill from sharing hard-earned wisdom and creative interventions gleaned from now 40 years of experience in the field of counseling. Inevitably, when I receive evaluations from the attendees, there will be two or three who wanted more theory, less storytelling. The first few times that happened, I pouted internally since I wanted people to get their money’s worth, and I interpreted it to mean I somehow failed to meet expectations. Keep in mind that there may have been 50 people in the class who were happy with the experience. From then on, I began the presentation with the caveat that they would be receiving portable skills with a smattering of theory. I would tell them that they could get theory from books, but not the invaluable benefit of time spent in the trenches. My childhood provided me with an abundance of love and encouragement with what I called Momisms and Dad Wisdom. I had a memory of something I heard my mother intone more than once, “Don’t do anything we would be ashamed of,” As a result, I was a “good girl” and did my best not to rock the boat or make waves. I became a consummate people pleaser and am now a recovering codependent. I hadn’t yet learned the adage, “What you think of me is none of my business.” I still struggle with that one at times since I (like many) want to ‘be loved best of all,’ as I have voiced it. It wasn’t until my mom was on hospice in 2010 and we were having many of our heart-to-heart conversations that she corrected my error. “We never told you not to do anything we would be ashamed of. We told you not to do anything you would be ashamed of.” Such a powerful revelation because I had made my parents’ approval paramount. Keep in mind, I was in my 50s at the time of that turnaround. Throughout my life, I was an adult version of curly topped Shirley Temple tap-dancing for approval, morphing into a chameleon who shape-shifted to accommodate the needs of others and lived in fear that I would be found out. I was the embodiment of Imposter Syndrome, whose striving to make everything look good was exhausting. At 62, I am open to being seen for who I am, not who I want others to see. I take my inventory every day and ask myself about my motivation for what I say and do and how I show up in the world. The pandemic has made a difference. Mostly staying at home, I dress down. I can count on a hand and a half the number of times I wore makeup in the last 365. One benefit of mask-wearing. I haven’t gotten a haircut in a year, which is actually pretty cool, since I am letting it grow out, and my locks that were once buzz-cut short are now below my shoulders, and they grew in curly. Sometimes I dye my hair vivid purple or blue—quite a conversation starter. Now a seasoned woman, I have taken note of the wrinkles and laugh lines around my eyes, the looser skin that defies the daily workouts I do in my makeshift living room gym, and the slower pace at which I am compelled to move. When I take walks with my son, daughter-in-law, and stroller-ensconced grandson, the adults, ask if I’m okay since my breathing is sometimes labored. The baby just smiles and laughs. Childhood asthma and a heart attack in 2014 have made my inhale and exhale more challenged. I think about my athletic father, who, at the age, I am now, had six-pack abs and worked out daily. What he didn’t know at the time was what was brewing under the surface, Parkinson’s Disease, which would rob him of his robust energy and eventually take his life. I would much prefer to have that vitality and be seen as more youthful than I am. My memory blips are more frequent, and I have to search for words that would have been easily accessible. That’s where a thesaurus comes in handy. I just started taking one of those brain-boosting supplements. I’ll keep you posted on its efficacy. Several years ago, I was invited to speak at a conference called “On Purpose Woman” in Maryland, hosted by Ginny Robertson. There was a funny story from that day that I told from the stage. I must have gotten dressed in the dark that morning since I noticed when I got there that my shirt was on backward. I went into the restroom to change it and noticed whilst in the loo that my underwear was on inside out! I left it as is. The audience laughed in recognition. When I shared the tee-hee tale with Ginny recently, this was her response. “I remember that great story. It reminded me of a story from back in my corporate days. It was the first day of a new job. I was coming in to run a department, so, of course, I wanted to make a good first impression. I had on my navy-blue-grey pinstripe wool suit with the appropriate jewelry, etcetera. It was stylish yet professional. Manicure, hair, makeup—check! I’m getting out of my car to go into the building, and I see my shoes. I have on a navy blue Naturalizer pump (closed-toe, medium heel, conservative). On the other foot was a navy blue shoe—with open toes and a bow and a higher heel. How I managed to walk out of my place to my car and not see my toes or notice I was walking a bit lopsided probably illustrates the stress I was going through those days. When I realized what I had done, I panicked for a bit and thought about going home and changing shoes. That would have made me late, which wouldn’t have been a good look either. Of course, no cell phones, so I couldn’t call my employer and explain why I was going to be late. So I took a deep breath and walked in. I went right to my office. After everyone arrived, my boss came to get me for a meeting so he could introduce me to everyone. I showed him my shoes, and he cracked up. So the first thing I did in this meeting is go up front and say—’I’m very happy to be here and…I want all of you to know that I know that I’m wearing two very different shoes, so we can just get that out there right now.’ Everyone started laughing, and it was a great start to my time there.” What if we could put it all out there in the beginning? This is who I am: wrinkles, scars, wounds, fears, broken places. Memory blips that I call CRS (Can’t Remember Sh*t Syndrome). The whole kit and kaboodle. All the shoulda-woulda-coulda-what-if- and-if-only regrets. Wanting a do-over countless times. Sadly, I can’t rewind the clock and change what I would now that I know better. I can only make amends to myself and anyone else my choices affected. Almost 20 years ago, I sat in the office of my dear friend Murray Needleman who has passed into the Infinite, coming up on two years now. He was an extraordinary therapist who knew just the right thing to say. I was struggling with being recently widowed and needed to recreate myself. He asked me if I was willing to accept myself AS IS. I equivocated, and he was persistent. Finally, I sighed and agreed. When I went home, I printed the words on a piece of paper that I kept on my office wall for years where my clients could see it. I used it as a teaching tool for each of us. When I left that job, I packed up my stuff, and when I set up my new digs, I pulled out the paper that hadn’t traveled well. It was wrinkled, and I couldn’t smooth it out. I was going to print a new one, but then I saw the perfection and humor in it and stuck it to the wall just as it was. It became an even more powerful example of acceptance. I have come to love and accept the woman in the mirror, AS IS.
I was the embodiment of Imposter Syndrome, whose striving to make everything look good was exhausting.
What if we could put it all out there in the beginning?
This is who I am: wrinkles, scars, wounds, fears, broken places.
Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW, is a colorfully creative journalist, licensed Social Worker, therapist, interfaith minister, and speaker. She encourages people to live rich, full, juicy lives. www.opti-mystical.com. Portions of this article first appeared in Elephant Journal.
What’s in a Spotlight? By Ellen Koronet
With On Purpose Woman Global Community’s (OPWGC) new conversation-starter quiz, Ginny Robertson invites you to explore the possibilities of standing in “the spotlight.” What does it mean to step onto the perfectly made-for-you stage? How can you play to your fullest amazing self? As we begin to emerge from lock-down and in complete alignment with her mission to “connect women around the world to their gifts, their purpose, and each other,” Ginny is more determined than ever to shine a spotlight on women who are ready to claim their moments. In 2021, we are slowly recovering from an all-encompassing emotional and physical slow-down. Luckily for us, Ginny is creating new ways to support, encourage, and connect us as we emerge. The heartful On Purpose Woman Global Community is stepping up to provide an engaging space for women to show up, give, receive, and thrive. In Ginny Robertson's words, “Spotlights come in different sizes and styles. You may be ready to show up as a Mom, Sister, Friend, Artist, or Do-Gooder. AND, you may be ready to stand on a stage and inspire millions with your products, services, and insights. Either or both is exactly what you are called for.” With this admirable purpose in mind, Ginny and I sat down to create her powerful lead magnet quiz. The intention is to engage women around the world in a two-way conversation. When you take the quiz, you will gain insight inspired by Ginny’s passionate purpose and expertise. You will be encouraged to move in the direction of your dreams. You will gain empathy and excitement from the On Purpose Women around you. Ginny’s intention is not only to expand her reach and membership: It is even more importantly to inspire and assist as many of us as she can. Did We Say “Quiz?” Using a thoughtful, inspirational quiz to showcase a brand’s intrinsic brilliance is exactly what is called for in today’s business environment. What we need most is reciprocity – the giving and receiving that comes from the heart and ripples out well beyond our observable reach. We need this for ourselves AND for our business interactions. A well-designed quiz is a series of intriguing questions leading to insight that illustrates a brand’s, a product’s, or a service’s brilliance. As a Social Scientist and consultant to Fortune 100 firms for 37 years, what I know for sure is that the bigger the question, the more inviting the engagement. This is exactly why quizzes are the marketing world’s best-kept secret! Brand quizzes give away what the expert knows, and do so in a fun and engaging way. Studies show that gamified interaction builds trust and interest. What better way than with a quiz? Why Take This Quiz? The OPWGC Spotlight Quiz is a “Brand Personality Quiz,”designed to provide Ginny’s unique insight and advice for standing in whichever spotlight size and style you desire. Whether you are pursuing hobbies and interests or running a corporation, this quiz reveals a pathway and a snapshot of where you are on that path. And with this insight, you will learn a little more about how On Purpose Woman Global Community is determined to help. In recent OPWGC meetings and in the global business community in general, much has been said about finding one’s “flow.” Ginny and other OPWGC Speakers stress diligent self-care that reinforces empowering beliefs, leading to inspired action steps – however small – yielding results and fueling momentum. That momentum then reinforces the cycle, starting with refreshed beliefs. Like the chicken vs. the egg, it doesn’t really matter where you start in this cycle: The trick is to keep the spiral moving in an upward direction. Once you let go of empowering beliefs, or stop taking inspired actions, or stop appreciating results that move you forward, the momentum heads downward. This reinforces doubts (the opposite of empowering beliefs), which makes it that much more difficult to act and see positive results. The Spotlight Quiz is designed to help you see where you are in this cycle. Awareness is an awe-inspiring magic wand. With this knowledge, and with the support of OPWGC’s Spotlighting opportunities and encouragement, you are truly unstoppable! In designing this quiz, I teamed up with Ginny in a series of exercises to clarify her vision and aspirations even more. Relying in part on decades of psychosocial, nonverbal, creativity-based training and practice, I designed the quiz around Ginny’s principles and expertise. When you take this quiz, our goal is to leave you feeling seen, heard, and supported, with a good idea of how the On Purpose Woman Global Community can help.
“Spotlights come in different sizes and styles. You may be ready to show up as a Mom, Sister, Friend, Artist, or Do-Gooder. AND, you may be ready to stand on a stage and inspire millions with your products, services, and insights. Either or both is exactly what you are called for.” - Ginny Robertson
Ellen Koronet If you are curious about creating your own Brand Personality Quiz, check out my website (https://LNKcreative.com/quizzes) and let me know – I’m always ready for a chat!
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Lessons Learned From a Fractured Foot by Dawn Shuler
Five weeks ago, I fell while standing on a chair cleaning out a closet. That fall resulted in a sprained ankle and a spiral fracture in the metatarsal bone. Why did this happen? I was going too much, too hard, too fast... I had already worked eight hours straight (with just 20 minutes for lunch), and I thought I had two or three hours of work still ahead of me. While I was waiting on other people to send me what I needed, I decided to clean out the office closet (as we may be moving soon). I didn't slow down to get an actual step stool instead of a chair. I didn't put the binders I was clearing out down before I took that blind step down off the chair. More importantly, I didn't realize that it wasn't important to fill every possible moment with doing. The result? I am unable to put any weight on that foot for 6-8 weeks. I’ll need several weeks of physical therapy to stabilize my core and help parts of my body that are overcompensating while I use crutches or a knee scooter. Actual, deeper results? I've had to slow down, of course, especially in the first couple of weeks as I was dealing with pain and needing to elevate my foot and apply ice frequently. I quickly learned what is truly important and a priority. Of course, that meant I had to redefine "important" and "priority." All those things that I thought I had to do - and do NOW - actually didn't need to be done right away. Many of them, like a strategy for The Shuler Group, was on my timeline, not anyone else's. That first week, I canceled most meetings, except those with hard-to-reschedule clients, and did a bare minimum. So, all that doing, doing, doing? Not done! And not critically important. Another lesson: trust. Since I can't be on my feet, that's meant that my husband Mark has to do almost everything around the house: cook, clean, get me ice, do the shopping, get my mug of tea or glass of water, and the list goes on. I've had to sit back and let him take care of me (another side lesson). As part of that, though, I've had to let him do things his way. If I'm cooking or cleaning, I have my standards and ways of doing things. As a temporary invalid, I don't have much say in the vacuuming. I've had to let go of certain expectations or standards, which is also part of the trust. Finally, in my spare time, especially on the weekends, I used to paint. Now, since I can't stand, I have had to find other ways for my creative outlets. I've revived my cross-stitch project. I've sketched. I've doodled. I've bought canvases, just waiting for the days I can paint! I'm trying to use these 6-8 weeks to truly grasp the messages the Universe is trying to send me. · Don't work so hard · Take breaks (not literal ones!) · Trust · Let go · Know it will all get done in its own time · Be creative about being creative What lessons do you need to learn - and that would be helpful to learn now before you get a swift kick in the behind to make sure you get it?
Messages From the Universe · Don't work so hard · Take breaks (not literal ones!) · Trust · Let go · Know it will all get done in its own time · Be creative about being creative
Dawn Shuler During the day, Dawn Shuler is CEO at www.TheShulerGroupLLC.com, helping organizations with their people, processes, and performance. On the side, she creates beauty with stunning colors www.southmountaincrafts.com.
A courageous story of survival and adventure!
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I Love You I Just Don’t Understand You by Patti Hornstra
...when I don’t understand them, I’ll just love them.
The love that a mother has for a child is love of a unique sort, isn’t it? I’ve known mothers who have loved their children unconditionally and others who have loved with strings attached. I’ve known mothers whose love is apathetic and permissive, and I’ve known those whose love is obsessive and controlling; luckily, I’ve also known many mothers whose love is somewhere in between. Sometimes that motherly balance is hard to maintain. Maybe that’s because sometimes we mothers just don’t understand what in the heck is going on. I’m a mom of four. I married at age 22 and gave birth to my children when I was 25, 27, 29 . . . and 35 (yep, that’s a noticeable six-year gap). I spent approximately fifteen years of my life (from age 25 to 40) suffering from complete exhaustion and total confusion. To be perfectly honest, much of that time is a blur of diapers, temper tantrums, and carpools. Four kids is a lot. (As a side note, I am an only child. An only child with four of her own is a fiasco in the making.) One of the advantages to having four kids is that it grants you instant access to the exclusive club known as “Wow, That’s a Lot of Kids!” I couldn’t wait to be in the club when I found out that I was expecting baby number four. My fourth baby may have been a surprise (see paragraph three), but that little one was definitely wanted—and celebrated! Our kitchen table was a six-top with five occupants and one empty chair. I had been painfully aware of that empty chair at the table for a while and often wondered who was supposed to be there. Finally, it would be filled; all would be right with the world. I already had more kids than I had hands, so what was one more? My number four was everybody’s baby. My girlfriends and neighbor buddies (most with older children—no babies in the house nor on the horizon for any of them) couldn’t wait for our little bundle of joy to arrive. My other three kids were thrilled when they heard that a new baby was on the way. Child number three (my almost six-year-old) was especially thrilled. A new baby meant that his days as the youngest child in the family were coming to an end, and he couldn’t wait. And my husband’s reaction to the news? Well, he had told me (many times) after number three was born that if we ever had another child, we were selling the suburban house and moving to a farm to grow our own food. My husband grew up as one of four, and he apparently thought that only lunatics and farmers had more than three kids. As fate would have it, the threat/promise of the farm never came to fruition, and I was able to happily stay put in suburbia. (I’m not sure how that farm thing would have played out if there had been a baby number five, but we’ll never know.) Fast forward twenty years and those four babies of mine have all grown up to become independent adults. They are kind, caring, and self- supporting, everything a mama could ask for. My adult children are a far cry from the tiny maniacs that so often made me want to pull out my hair when they were kids. Now I watch them as adults, living their own independent lives, making their own choices and decisions, and I smile. I smile because we all survived their childhood and lived to tell the tale, and here we all are in the next phase of life. I smile because I’m proud of the people that they have become, each with their own unique talents, all as different from each other as they could possibly be. I smile simply because of the love I feel for each of them. I just don’t understand them. I don’t always understand their choices and their decisions. But that’s the beauty of having adult children. Their choices and decisions are their own; you’re not responsible for them, and you don’t have to understand them (or even agree with them). Even better, you don’t have to apologize for them. You can just love them because you’re allowed to love them without understanding them. Sometimes I focus too hard on trying to understand, and I lose sight of what’s important. It’s important that they know I love them, that I’m there for them, and that I won’t step in and try to live their lives for them. I’ll stand by quietly on the sidelines as they make their own choices and decision, and I’ll try my best to hold my tongue when I’m tempted to step in and yell, “STOP!” I’ll let them learn the hard way, just like I did. I will remember the old saying that The Growth Is In The Struggle. And so, when I don’t understand them, I’ll just love them. I’ll let them make their own choices and decisions, and I’ll keep my mouth shut and my opinions out of it, even when I don’t understand. I will love them without understanding. And I will remind myself of this: The Struggle Is Real, So Is The Love!
Patti Hornstra is a native of Richmond, VA, and a VCU graduate.She is the author of When He Was Anna: A Mom’s Journey Into the Transgender World. www.authorpattihornstra.com Check out her other articles in the Jan/Feb and Mar/Apr issues of On Purpose Woman Magazine https://opwgc.com/opw-magazine-archive/
Three Ways to Help a Hurting Friend: A Barista’s Crash Course
By Danielle Grosse My hometown supports seven coffee shops. A college town nestled in the Rocky Mountains, it’s the coldest spot in the nation. 3,500 souls spend a lot of energy keeping warm and connecting with neighbors. Recently, the newest coffee shop in town showed promise as the hip place to sip a specialty coffee. I swung open the door. The fresh scent of coffee greeted me like a warm hug. And then… My heart fell as I stepped toward the counter, eyeing the extensive menu written across the expanse of an eight-foot wall. There were too many choices. My initial excitement began to cool like an abandoned cup of espresso. I suddenly wanted to leave. As I started to execute my escape, the barista stopped me with the very words I had planned to avoid. “What would you like?” He took his place behind the cash register. “What do you recommend?” I countered. He didn’t miss a beat. “What do you normally enjoy?” My eyes narrowed as I tested his product knowledge: “Something skinny with coffee.” He took a minute to reflect and smiled. “How about a skinny Americano with a shot of sugar-free coconut flavoring? That’s my go-to about this time of day.” This guy was good! He not only helped me make my decision, he made me feel accepted. And then he went one step further. “I’ll bring it out to your table.” When it arrived, he left the lid off so I would notice the small layer of whipped cream under a drizzle of coconut syrup. Beautiful! Lessons from a Generous Barista I realized this barista provided a crash course in helping a hurting friend. For some of us, the language of comfort feels elusive, hard to master. Our anxiety can overwhelm us, and we end up hesitating to reach out to someone who is struggling. Even worse, we can end up avoiding the person as they wait for us, leaving them with feelings of rejection and isolation. Sometimes we want to encourage our friends, but our lack of confidence can make us feel inadequate. We can walk through the minefield of delicate situations when we find a strategy that is simple and efficient, similar to my barista’s. 1. Assess 2. Share 3. Serve Let’s take each of these steps one by one. Assess. Our conversations take a different direction when we put in the effort to discover what our part in the exchange needs to be. For example, a good place to start is “I want to make sure I’m here for you in the most helpful way. Do you want to vent, or are we digging in and looking for solutions?” This allows us to mindfully identify someone’s expectations. When someone has suffered loss, they may need to simply tell their story. When you start with the reassurance that what they have to say is important and ask what they would like to talk about, this can be a wonderful gift. There are days a friend is merely looking for the emotional equivalent of a cup of luxury hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows, and sprinkles. This is when we can make an effort to communicate: This hurts, and I can’t heal it, but you can count on me for some comfort. When we don’t push our agenda in order to feel competent, we can better listen to their desires. Even though we may think they want to discuss their situation, they may just want to talk about another topic, any other topic. In fact, they may not want to talk but not be alone either. When we ask and don’t assume, we can give a great degree of comfort. Share. What does your friend love about you? They most likely have connected with you because they appreciate your: Acceptance Honesty Humor Empathy Generosity Trust Encouragement Respect Your friendship heals and comforts their heart. You are a refuge in a scary, upside-down situation. Simply being there is a form of caring. Your friend may also be seeking you out because they have watched you go through a situation that parallels their own. They may see power and perseverance in what you’ve modeled. Sometimes we can be helpful by telling our own stories and the truth of what it took to make it through. Serve. Thoughtfully consider what kindnesses would speak to you in a similar situation. Life is over- whelming for all of us at times, but when trauma hits, we encounter a heightened degree of stress. It is like the proverbial pebble in our shoe. We may be able to ignore it for a while, but eventually, it can be consuming. What if? How do I? What’s next? It can crowd an unsettled mind until the smallest decision is completely overwhelming. When someone in this situation hears “Let me know how I can help,” they probably can’t say what they need, so they simply reply, “I’m fine.” The beautiful part of friendship is just as your friend sought you out because they love who you are; you know them and may instinctively know what they need. It’s a little like Christmas shopping – quietly finding a meaningful way to say, You are loved and treasured. The greatest encouragement happens when our actions match our friend’s needs. In this case, DON’T ask first (because they’re overwhelmed by the choices or maybe feel like they don’t want to be a bother) - just DO. Just send the meal. Just sent the gift card. Just show up. Serving is finding ways to give the gift of unexpected kindness when someone is facing unplanned circumstances. You Can Be the Generous Barista of Comfort Encouragement is a welcome gift in a season of struggle. Your desire to be a thoughtful, caring and helpful friend can make the difference to someone barely hanging on. I hope and pray you will find confidence in your kindness as you assess, share, and serve, just like the barista at my favorite coffee shop! Moment for reflection: When you face a difficult situation, where do you find your greatest comfort? What gift of service would you find most meaningful in a crisis? Prayer Starter: Heavenly Father, You are the perfect provider of comfort. I feel the responsibility of finding words that will build up and encourage, and yet I realize I could say the wrong thing. Please soften my words and my heart so I can serve and soothe a hurting heart. Amen
When we don’t push our agenda in order to feel competent, we can better listen to their desires.
Danielle Gross helps women walk alongside their loved ones as they strengthen and expand their faith - even when life is hard. Download her free guide, Five Ways God Guides Us Through a Crisis at www.daniellegrosse.com
Remember how Pollyanna’s father taught her to play the Glad Game? She was disappointed when the missionary barrel delivered crutches instead of the doll she had hoped for. He suggested she be glad that she had no use for the crutches. What if, when faced with life’s challenges, we choose to find something to be glad about? Ridiculous? Too simplistic? Perhaps. But think a minute. What if we did make that mind shift in perspective? What if that was how we coped with life? What if that was how we not only coped, we overcame, and thrived? When my husband’s employers closed their doors unexpectedly (they had sent him across the country on a business trip at the time), that experience opened up a whole new world for our family.Not just a new job, but also a brand new state, braving a new school, settling into a new house, and a host of new relationships to enrich our lives. We didn’t go looking for a new life, it appeared, and we could choose to look at it as a disaster or as an adventure. I was glad my husband’s new job gave him the chance to work with a leader in his industry and to be a part of creating cutting-edge technology. I was glad that I got the chance to grow as a leader for my family and in my new community. Not having family nearby meant I had to step outside my natural introvert tendencies to build relationships through our new church, the local women’s club, and our daughter’s school. I was glad that I could use my writing skills, which afforded me access to positions at the local children’s museum, the Junior League, women’s club, elementary school, a business journal, and church. We not only survived this change, but we thrived in our new environment because we chose to focus on what makes us glad. What’s going on in your life? Your situation may not require a change in address as ours did, but it probably involves a shift in attitude. It may be a case of misplaced keys when you are running late, spilled milk at the breakfast table, or a forgotten task on the ever-growing to-do list. Whatever is causing your stress, you can decide to play the Glad Game and shift the emphasis of the situation. Choose to be glad it was a small plastic tumbler of milk and not a glass gallon jug. Choose to be glad you safely arrived at your appointment, although a bit tardy. Choose to be glad your to-do list deadlines can easily be amended. Life is too short to obsess over spilled milk and more noteworthy challenges in life: like losing a job, significant moves, loss of a loved one, divorce, or catastrophic illness. We are the only ones who decide how we feel. I choose to be glad about my many blessings and to not dwell on situations and circumstances I have little or no control over. Journaling is how I cope and thrive. I choose to use my journal as a place to vent, noodle and brainstorm about what I’d like life to be like and how to accomplish my vision. I write about what I’m glad about in the here and now. Consider writing for five minutes a day as a way to uncover what you’re glad about.
Unleash Your Glad Game By Mary E. Knippel
Mary E Knippel, Book Mentor, guides entrepreneurs to grow their business by developing their unique voice and sharing their distinctive message. Learn more at: https://yourwritingmentor.com
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What Motivates You? By Kathryn Yarborough
What motivates you to do challenging things like write a book, show up for networking events, or create your website? For me to do hard stuff, I need: A vision for the future that excites me. A belief that my vision is possible. The knowledge that doing the hard, challenging things will help me manifest that vision. My Challenging Activity: Create a Speaker One Sheet. Four years ago, I went to a work- shop on the business of speaking. While there, I learned that if I wanted to find speaking opportu- nities, it would be helpful to have what’s called a Speaker One Sheet. This is a pdf, flyer, or webpage that includes information about a speaker’s ideal audience, expertise, speaking topics, bio, and other things that an event organizer would find helpful when deciding to hire that speaker for their event. I left that workshop fired up about creating my Speaker One Sheet, but after a few weeks, I realized I wasn’t sure about my presentation topics, so I didn’t create it. A year later, I re-launched my business. I created a signature talk and was ready to find speaking opportunities, but I still didn’t create my Speaker One Sheet. What was up with that? The following year, I signed up for a high-priced coaching package with people I knew could help me find speaking opportunities, grow my business, and create my Speaker One Sheet. Even with their coaching, I didn’t create it. What was going on? Why wasn’t I motivated to create it? I needed a vision for the future that excites me. For years before I attended the business of speaking workshop, a vision of me standing on the stage, inspiring a huge audience, would randomly pop into my head. Usually, I disregarded it. Then one day, about four years ago, I thought, Maybe there’s something to this random vision. Maybe I should pursue speaking. That’s why I signed up for the workshop. Since attending that workshop, while working on my business goals and plans, I’ve taken myself on guided journeys to meet my future on purpose self. She is doing what I’m here to do full out, without constraint. I see her running a thriving business, doing events with hundreds of people in the room, being the fullest expression of herself, making a huge impact on lots of people’s lives, being successful, and feeling great about herself and her business. When my attention is focused in the direction of my future on purpose self, I’m aware of a path between where I am and where she is. I call that path my purpose path because it’s taking me towards the future me who is fulfilling my divine purpose. This path feels like a moving sidewalk because when I’m on it, I’m moving in alignment with the unfolding of the Divine – the One we’re all part of. Energy flows to me and thru me moving me forward. And it’s not just me. Any of us who are turned towards our future on purpose selves are moving forward with the Divine. You could be on your moving sidewalk, becoming your future on purpose self, if you wanted to be. For years, I’ve been getting to know my future on purpose self. And while I love her, I didn’t see how I was going to become her until recently. I thought I had to do in-person events to become her. But to fill rooms with hundreds of participants, I’d have to spend lots of money on space rental, marketing, and administrative support. I couldn’t imagine it. I kept falling off my moving sidewalk. I needed to believe my vision was possible. About six weeks ago, my future on purpose self revealed that if I grew my events online instead of in person, I could become her. She showed me that it’s possible within two years to be doing two events a month online with sixty participants at each of them. She indicated that if I achieved this goal, I would be her! Within a few days, I designed a new event called GET ON YOUR MOVING SIDEWALK, created a webpage for it, and started telling people about it. A month later, I offered it for the first time, and six people attended. It went great! But I knew to fill this event with over sixty people within two years, lots more potential clients would have to find out that I exist. I’d have to get booked on podcasts, go to networking events, and show up consistently on Facebook. I learned that having my Speaker’s page would help me become my future on purpose self. To find podcasts where I could be a guest, I joined a podcast collaborative community. While inputting my information in their database, I discovered that having a Speaker One Sheet, or something like it, would help me get podcast interviews. So guess what? Within a few weeks, I put together my speaker’s webpage. It’s on my website, and it’s my version of a Speaker One Sheet. I did it! Finally. What was going on? Why was I finally motivated enough to do it after four years? I had a vision for the future that excited me so much that I really wanted to manifest it. I believed that vision was possible. I learned that having my speaker’s webpage would help me create the vision. Do you have a vision for the future that excites you? If not, join me for a Get On Your Moving Sidewalk Event so you can get to know your future on purpose self. She’ll show you a version of your future that you’ll love and, if you let her, she’ll help you create it.
A recent Get On Your Moving Sidewalk Event
Kathryn Yarborough is committed to inspiring on purpose solopreneurs to grow the business their heart longs for. She is the creator of the Manifesting Clients Academy, the Moving Sidewalk Movement, and the Unleash Your Light On Facebook program. She’s the author of the soon to be published book, Keep Moving Forward: A Guide for the On Purpose Solopreneur. For information about her event, Get On Your Moving Sidewalk, go to: https://www.manifestingclientsacademy.com/movingsidewalkevent/. Join her Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MovingSidewalkMovement. Visit her website: www.ManifestingClientsAcademy.com.
Playlist: 20 Songs to Mother You Karen Tasto helps women reclaim and connect to their whole selves. She’s a certified life coach, circle facilitator, JourneyDance teacher, & soulful retreat leader. www.karentasto.com.
A Prayer For Mothering Yourself by Karen Tasto
This is to mother me… May I mother myself in the ways my own mother could not May I tenderly hold myself in times of hurt May I comfort myself when the world feels like too much May I be there for myself when others cannot May I forgive myself for my mess ups May I just give myself a break May I play to my heart’s content and dance to my own rhythm May I meander with wonder and wonder with delight May I give myself permission to be with me without agenda May I allow myself to have the temper tantrums that were shunned as a child May I see myself when it seems others do not May I look into my own eyes like I am the only one who matters May I drop everything to truly listen to the sensitive parts of me May I tend to myself with the utmost compassion and adoration May I tell myself often what an amazing person I am May I be my biggest fan May I encourage myself to do what makes me come alive May I love myself just the way I am, imperfections and all May I forgive my human mother who did not know she could mother herself May I feel held always by the Great Mother May I know I am loved unconditionally by Her always and forever, no matter what So it is. Thank you!
I thought watercolors were magical when I was introduced to them by a teacher at Towson Senior High School in Maryland. But I did not pick them up again for another 30 years. I was at a day-long watercolor workshop in Raleigh, NC with artist and activist, Linda Dallas, and became excited again by watercolors. I seemed to have a facility with the medium and Linda was full of warmth and encouragement. Watercolors as a medium are conveniently portable, instantly effective in making marks on paper and offer a collaboration with chance and serendipity that I adore. How many times have my plans been “ruined” by paint that meandered out of bounds only to find acceptance and a willingness to work with the paint’s “misbehavior.” These days I make room for the unexpected and sometimes I even count on it. The Cover piece is titled “Please Help Me to Understand.” I was drawn to a photograph and liked the sense of mentorship. To be honest, sometimes I arrive at images rather than having a plan. This painting was half begun a year earlier and set aside and I picked it up again during 2020. The watercolor seemed to be just waiting for these tumultuous times to finish itself. As far as what it conveys, I hope the viewer feels a sense of a compassionate connection transpiring. But mostly I prefer to leave the meaning of any painting up to the viewer. There is a wide range of subject matter in my artwork to date. I have spent the last 7 years learning to paint. But I am told I have a recognizable style. I hope there is a tenderness that is apparent in my work. I am a ceramic artist as well so I spend time at the local ceramic studio making sculpture from open and closed thrown forms and trying to decide if I should set up a wheel and a kiln here at my own home/studio. Time will tell... I am grateful to be living a life I love and to be able to serve my local community with my time and talent. Lani Chaves received a BFA from Virginia Commonwealth University and has studied with watercolor artists Linda Dallas, Ryan Fox, and Sarah Yeoman. ‘Painter’ is her fourth career. She has been a Performer, a Graphic Designer, and a Teacher. In all of these roles ‘Communication’ stands out as the common denominator. She currently lives in North Carolina in a little town called Pittsboro. It is just 8 miles from a more well-known area called Chapel Hill. She shares her home and studio with a small terrier-mix named Asheville. Lani belongs to a local artist organization, The Chatham Artists Guild. They hold a studio tour the first two weekends in December. She invites us all down to take the tour!ChathamArtistsGuild.org Lani is also an artist/owner of a newly formed Cooperative Art Gallery in Pittsboro, The Pittsboro Gallery of Arts, where 34 regional artists have come together to share their work with the public. She can be found there a few times a month playing the role of “shop girl.” PittsboroArts.org
Our Cover Art By Lani Chaves
Please Help Me to Understand“
Rise Up
More art created By Lani Chaves
Matthew's Buddha
First Swim
More About Lani Chaves
Connect with Lani Chaves lanichaves.com chathamartistsguild.org/artists/lani-chaves/ pittsboroarts.org/lani-chaves facebook.com/LaniChavesArtist/
All Is Well
Full Potential
Stepping into Your
By Andrea Hylen A Summary of 8 Tips for Building an Innovative Business and Life The idea for this series of articles began at a metro stop in Washington, DC, during the fall of 2016. Sitting on the train, I closed my eyes and wondered why I had returned to live in DC again. When the metro doors opened, I saw the words, “Discover Your True Potential.” There was something about the words that I connected with immediately. “Got it,” I said out loud to no one in particular. “I’m here to discover my true potential.” For the next six months, opportunities to teach, co-lead, and develop new material for my business began to appear, as if by magic. I practiced setting new boundaries, using my voice in a different way, and started to remember things I had forgotten about myself. With a colleague who was a ‘Yes’ to anything I wanted to try, I took risks in a community that opened their arms to me. A few weeks before leaving Washington, DC, I saw another sign, ‘Potential Embraced.’ It made me smile and nod my head. Yes, I had been embracing my potential, and I was ready to move on to the next location. The final sign came on my last Metro trip to DC. Standing on a corner waiting for the light to change, I saw the sign drive by on the side of a bus: ‘Potential Found.’ In the book “52 Codes for Conscious Self-Evolution,” Barbara Marx Hubbard shares insights from a lifetime of asking questions in a world that is awakening as an emergent, co-creative society. One of my favorite codes is: The 8 Tips for Building an Innovative Business and Life emerged out of that experience in DC and is very much connected with Barbara Marx Hubbard’s Codes. We are always in a state of preparation and readiness for the next turn of the wheel. It may be a class, the daily repetition of a practice, a new idea you want to explore. When the shift happens, you are ready! In the last eight issues of On Purpose Woman Magazine, I laid out the 8 tips in a linear fashion. (A summary of them is listed below.) Nothing about life is a purely linear experience. Ideas come in waves. Cycles and patterns return with highs and lows. Failures help you discover new ideas. Successes, small and large, are to be celebrated. The 8 tips are a guidepost. Be willing to go on the ride. Notice what turns you on. Pause and Reflect. Make friends with change, discomfort, and ‘not knowing.’ Cultivate your personal power. Manage your energy and time. Collaborate with others. Enjoy the Adventure. Here are a few more suggestions and reminders: There is always some form of “yes” and a willingness to go on the ride. It’s as simple as that. You have a question, an idea, a desire, and you say yes. Set up a structure of support for yourself. A notebook to catch ideas. A coach and support groups where you can process the emotions and feelings and the doubts and fears that arise. Places where you can be messy and celebratory. Learn from your mistakes. If the same situation returns, it may be an opportunity for you to learn something with a fresh perspective or to try a different approach. Stay humble. Wipe the slate clean. Unravel what you think you know. Practice beginner’s mind. “I know nothing.” Make room for a daily practice to empty your mind, build a core belly strength and cultivate your inner knowing. This will help you create and hold what you have created. How much good can you allow in your life? How much can you hold with little effort? And finally, choose the tip that will best serve you now. A list of the articles: In the Jan/Feb 2020 issue of On Purpose Woman Magazine, I shared Tip #1: Be willing to go on the ride. There was a spark and a desire to say yes to “something.” A business idea, a relationship, a class, or an event. In the Mar/Apr issue 2020, Tip #2: Notice what turns you on. There is something in the desire that lights you up and ignites your passion. You can feel it in your body and heart. In the May/June issue, Tip #3: Pause and Reflect. You have to be empty so new ideas can land. Give yourself space to daydream, to be dormant, and take root. In the Jul/Aug issue, Tip #4: Make friends with change, discomfort, and ‘not knowing.’ Create some micro-disruptions to shake things up. Take action. Let go of the attachment to an image. In the Sep/Oct issue, Tip #5: Cultivate Personal Power. Get support. Train your mind. Develop humility. Strengthen your nervous system. Stand up for what you believe. In the Nov/Dec issue, Tip #6: Manage Your Energy and Time. Balance energy in and energy out. Declutter. Review your calendar. Put yourself on the “to-do-be” list. In the Jan/Feb 2021 issue, Tip #7: Collaborate with others (in a way that makes sense.) Common Goals and Intentions. Clear agreements. Be flexible. Foundation of Respect. Build Trust. In the Mar/Apr 2021 issue, Tip #8: Enjoy the adventure. Celebrate beginnings and endings and little steps along the way. Practice Radical Self-Love. Work hard and have fun. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
Code 21: Be ready to repattern at the next stage when the larger pattern is ready for you. The larger process of evolution is repositioning you. Due to the planetary shift, your new position is being readied for you. You must be ready for it. Let go of what does not work and allow the new patterns to draw you forward by attraction. This is not a one-time event but a continuous process of unfolding toward life ever-evolving. ~Barbara Marx Hubbard
Andrea Hylen Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The On-line Co-working Space for Cultural Creatives: The Incubator. www.andreahylen.com
To see Andrea’s articles in full: https://opwgc.com/opw-magazine-archive/
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Try Life Coaching today! https://www.facebook.com/coachingbyshelly https://shellyoconnell.com Desk Job Weight Loss. Sharfunnisa Quadri. Lose All Your Belly Fat, And Keep if Off Forever Without Dieting or Sweating in the Gym. https://www.deskjobweightloss.com/ Dr. Dora Vilk-Shapiro. Author name: Doris Vilk. Author of the Chatham Series. www.DorisVilk.com Dream Vacations.Carolyn Pinkney. Group, Luxury, Accessible Travel, Cruises, Land Tours & Villa Rentals Worldwide. http://www.DreamVacations.com/cpinkney Epilogue Tributes. Felicia Barlow Clar. Creating unique, personalized Celebration of Life services. Virtual gatherings available. Because we all matter.www.celebratingthedash.com Explore the Dark Heart. Lisa Diane McCall, CLC. Creative, intuitive coaching removes sabotaging blocks to hear your deeper wisdom. 443-802-9500 ldmccall@msn.com www.lisadmccall.com FABWOMEN. ShannaKabatznick. An organization of diverse women who come together to connect and support each other personally and professionally. www.FABWOMEN.me shanna@fabwomen.me Gerise Pappas.Transformational Life Coach & Enneagram Facilitator working with growth-oriented individuals ready to replace fear-based habits with inspired action. www.GerisePappas.com Grey Swan Inn. Christine Hasbrouck.Five bedroom B&B for business & leisure travelers, small retreats, and solo guests.http://www.greyswaninn.com Hustle with Heart Coaching. Erin Harrigan. Helping "stuck" entrepreneurs rediscover their joy and align results with God's truth. erinharrigan@comcast.net 443-684-3131 Ingrid Dallaire. Realtor Long and Foster. "Service and Results with a Personal Touch." www.IngridDallaire.com Ingrid.Dallaire@LongandFoster.com 301-455-6962 Inner Voices Outer Vision. 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Beauty Should Be Good for You… Avoid Greenwashing By Becky Premock
You exercise. You eat right. But personal care products and cosmetics are one of the most misunderstood areas impacting our health. In fact, over 80,000 chemicals have been introduced to the industry in the US since the 1950s and less than 20% have been tested for human safety. You read the ingredient list on the foods you purchase. Please read the ingredient list on the products you put on your hair, face and body every single day. Did you know that there is only a page and a half of regulations from 1938 for the $80 billion personal care product industry in the US? Blatant greenwashing on labels on personal care products and cosmetics is commonplace. Greenwashing is the process of conveying a false impression or providing misleading information about how a company's products are more environmentally sound. Greenwashing is considered an unsubstantiated claim to deceive consumers into believing that a company's products are environmentally friendly. The words 'natural' and 'organic' do not legally mean anything on a label pertaining to the ingredients in the container. I recommend checking your favorite products' safety on the free app called Healthy Living from the non-profit Environmental Working Group. You can get a rating from zero to 10, zero being the safest. Click on the rating to get a list of the ingredients and an explanation why they are of concern. Try to use only green zone (zero to 2 rating) products, especially for the products that stay on your skin all day. We all deserve better.
Greenwashing is the process of conveying a false impression or providing misleading information about how a company's products are more environmentally sound.
Becky Premock educates on switching to safer products for skin and body as well as home and pantry through cleanandbrightwithbecky.com and schedules one-on-one consultations. Let's chat. https://www.cleanandbrightwithbecky.com/book-online
Launching Your Amazing Book! Celebrate Your Success by Kim Wells Eley
In October 2019, my client Brian Muka and I launched his first book, Your Secret Superpower: Tame Fear to Thrive. As a life coach and "fear sherpa," he highlighted his background as a military paratrooper in the pages of his book. And he wanted to use it as the theme of this event. Nervously the guests walked into the airplane hangar, not sure what to expect. As Brian and I greeted them, the air was charged with anticipation. This, you see, was going to be a unique book launch. What is a book launch? There's a couple of definitions I want to share with you. When you are publishing a book, the first definition of a book launch is your launch date, which is your date of publication. This is the day when your book is officially made available. If you are self-publishing, you get to decide when your book gets published. If you work with a traditional publisher, they often choose the date for you. This is helpful for doing marketing and other book-related promotions. Having your launch date allows you to let people know when to expect your book. The second definition of a book launch is a book launch party. A book launch party combines a book signing and a celebration of your book's debut. Sometimes your book launch event is held on the exact same day as your publication launch, but it isn't a requirement. I'll focus on the second definition, the book launch party. I like to think of your book launch party as a well-deserved celebration for family and friends who have patiently put up with you as you worked on your book! They have cheered you on, and this is your chance to express your gratitude. And it is a wonderful opportunity for you to celebrate your incredible accomplishment of finishing your book. Did you realize 81% of people polled in 2002 said they wanted to write a book? Yet, 90% of writers fail at achieving this dream. Once you know these statistics, you realize you really have a reason to celebrate when you publish your book. As a writing coach and publisher, I love celebrating with my awesome authors. We schedule the book launch parties to last for about two hours. Often we meet in person, although you can also have a great virtual book launch too. Authors may invite as many or as few people as they'd like. I like to choose a location that coordinates well with the theme or intention of the author's book. Here are some examples from my clientele: For a leadership coach, we launched her book at a yoga studio. The relaxed energy matched her vibe. For a Christian nonfiction writer, we held a book launch at a coffee shop. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming and encouraged conversation, which matched her book style. For an executive who wrote her memoir and weaved in stories about wine, we partnered with a local vineyard. Her book launch was part of a wine tasting event. Since this is a party, you can certainly have food and beverages. You can include whatever feels most festive and appropriate. For virtual book launches, we incorporate fun party-style games for the attendees. I usually recommend an agenda for your book launch party so that it has a bit of structure. That way, your guests know what to expect. I suggest that authors spend the first half-hour of their two-hour event meeting and greeting guests as they come in. It's fun to say hello to everybody and make them feel welcome. About thirty minutes into the party, I recommend having a book reading. Gather all of your guests around and say something like, "Hey, everybody, so glad you're here. I'm going to read an excerpt from my book." Arrange chairs and locate a central place where you can stand and read from your book. After the book reading, people will start milling around and talking again. At in-person events, we always set up a table where authors can sell copies of their books. I generally recommend that you have a couple of chairs behind your table, a sign displaying how much each book costs, Sharpie pens for signing your books, and a way to take in money. I recommend that authors obtain a Square or other devices for charging credit cards. It's also a good idea to bring a money box in which you have brought small denominations of bills for change. Another good tip is to invite another person to join you. It's great to create a flow at the book signing table, so people line up, purchase a copy of your book, and your helper can accept payment while you are signing your books. About an hour and a half into the event, I like to announce a second book reading where you, as the author, read a different section from your book. Right after you complete your second reading, you can thank everyone and acknowledge the people who helped you get to the finish line with your book. You may even want to invite others to come up and speak. In 2019, after Brian and I chose to launch his book about fear at the small Dinwiddie, Virginia, airport, headquarters of the Virginia Skydiving Center, the rest of the logistics were easy. A sofa, some chairs, and a podium were our requests for his event. We wanted a place for everyone to sit and a spot for the speakers to talk. He invited his parents, who attended from New Jersey. The hangar was the perfect setting for Brian to discuss how he wrote his story and to talk about his mission: empowering others to embrace fear and use it as a superpower. Brian read several passages from his book. After Brian read, several of his family members, friends, and I spoke. Then it was time for our main event. Half of our attendees suited up and prepped. The other half of the group waved us farewell as we boarded a small plane. And then, up and up we went! And Brian, his friends, and I jumped out of an airplane! Yes, we held a skydiving book launch for Brian's amazing book! While jumping out of an airplane is unusual for a book launch, linking your book's theme to your launch is always a smart idea. The most important thing to remember for a book launch party is to kick back, relax, and enjoy. It is a celebration and a well-deserved nod to the accomplishment that you have achieved. Make sure to savor the moment and thank all the people who've been there for you. Remember, whether you stay on the ground or not, this is your day. Celebrate it! This is the last article in a series from Kim Wells Eley on writing and publishing your book. You can find her other articles in the On Purpose Woman Magazine Archives. Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text Body text
The Book Launch Party
Kim Wells Eley is a speaker, author, & publisher. A cat lover and a collector of orchids, she gets all of her news from comedy channels. KWE Publishing (804) 536-1972 kwe@kwepub.com www.kwepub.com Check out Kim's other articles on writing in the last 6 issues of On Purpose Woman Magazine.
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Once You Know Your Purpose, Then What? Ginny Robertson interviewed by Kathryn Yarborough
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Some seeds take a long time to germinate, and we can live a lifetime while the seeds of ideas take root and change our lives. My journey to History Chip, an online archive of true stories and chips of memories, began nearly 60 years ago. Brains are complicated and mysterious. Like squirrels, they store away bits of information, bits of notions, tiny seemingly insignificant bits of thought fluff, carefully securing them for use when the season demands. Those bits of thoughts are then seemingly lost, locked away, and inaccessible until that moment when they wriggle forth fully formed and ready for action. Two important chips of memories emerged and became the catalysts for creating History Chip. Memory #1 My 5th-grade textbook, Virginia: History • Government • Geography, taught us that slaves were happy on the plantations: [Virginia] offered a better life for the Negroes than did Africa. In his new home, the Negro was far away from the spears and war clubs of enemy tribes. He had some of the comforts of civilized life. He had better food, a better house, and better medical care than he did in Africa. And he was comforted by a religion of love and mercy. (Simkins, Hunnicutt, Poole, 187) When young children are taught history, they tend to learn it as fact. They don't question it. So, learning that slaves were happy on the plantations was, for me, "fact." That "fact" settled into my mind as a sticky memory. Memory #2 In eighth grade, World History Class, our teacher Mrs. Anderson (I say her name because teachers don't get enough adulation), gave us twenty first-hand accounts of the Battle of Lexington and Concord. Each was different, and we were asked to determine what happened at the battle, including the source of the first shot. This was transformational! Our teacher asked us to think and be historians, and not accept the lesson as fact. She was encouraging us to critically examine the evidence and form our own conclusions about what happened. She presented the possibility that all the history I had learned was open to clarification or, at the very least, critical analysis. More importantly, I realized that stories can expand our opportunity to determine Truth. My first memory, which told about the lives of slaves without evidence of any stories told by slaves, was taught to children as fact. That memory ran counter to the second memory, that history is more truthful when all the essential stories are considered. The harm of the first memory gave significant power to the second. And those two memories gave power and purpose to History Chip, where all stories matter. Significant groups of people have been left out of history: those slaves on the Virginia plantations, women, people in developing countries, indigenous people, people of color, LGBTQ, and others. Without all of our stories, history isn't complete. From two small memories, moldering and aging over 50+ years, bloomed a project to make history more inclusive and truthful. I did a lot of living in those 50 years: a degree in history, an MFA, ten years working in the theater, running a business, raising a family, friendships, travel, divorce, and being at Ground Zero on 9/11. Our lives are a journey with twists and turns, giving us stories of living, loving, drama, and meaning. These stories matter! We all have planted memories. Some will take root, and out of the blue, burst into bloom as a story to share or a vehicle for transformation. History Chip was founded on my two seedlings of memories, and it thrives on your stories.
Memories As Fuel For Innovation: The Creation of History Chip by Jean McGavin
Jean McGavin is the founder of History Chip. She is also the owner of Global Voice Systems, Inc, a niche voice-over production company, writer, and mother of two. History Chip is working to revolutionize the way history is told by representing ALL voices and experiences in an online archive of memories and stories. You are invited to share true stories, big and small, of earth-shaking events or the seemingly insignificant. We’d love for everyone to read the stories, and historians, journalists, students and academicians may use the stories for research. We also welcome input from anyone interested in aggregating stories from their community. historychip.com jean@historychip.com
Recently, the unknown has become our closest companion. Vibrating with hope, fear, speculation, and projection, we have been forced, again and again, to accept uncertainty. We ask: what is mine to do? We hunger for the wisdom to act wisely, looking for truth, facts, and values that can sustain us. It’s painful that we live in a time when facts mean different things to different people, and values are so fractured that we fight because of perceived differences as much as real ones. In a time such as this, effective leaders make decisions based on overarching social patterns and complex systems. These are the structures that make sense of facts and give our values meaning. The challenge is that there are two meaning-making structures active today. First, we interpret facts based on the propaganda that makes ideology feel like reality. Second, the real systems behind that ideology are still active, a larger web of meaning shaping our lives and decisions. Lately, it can be hard to tell the difference. But as leaders with our feet on the ground and our hearts connected with Spirit, we have the tools we need. Most important, we have the fortitude to tolerate the tension created by not knowing.If we can resist clinging to ideology and scattered factoids, then we have a better chance of living – and making good decisions- in the present. And when we are present, we can better see the patterns of culture swirling around us here and now. We begin to discern the true complexity of the system beyond ever-present propaganda and muddy fear. Facts form a meaningful pattern; we can clearly assess our next steps. We become discerning. When we ask, “what is mine to do?” we base our decisions on the big picture. As we become more comfortable with complexity, we steadily choose the greater insight, supported by the clarity of Spirit that gives us a foundation to see through false patterns. Wisdom leads us forward. We step away from the web of lies and serve the web of life. This article first appeared in Science of Mind Magazine.
Carol Burbank is a writer, educator, and writing mentor dedicated to supporting creatives with authentic, energizing strategies to create successful books and find their unique voices. She founded the Storyweaving Retreat Center in Fort Washington, MD in 2019, and is a local On Purpose Woman Global Community host. https://storyweaving.com/
Discernment Measuring the Unknown By Carol Burbank, Ph.D.
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