{{date:MMMM d, yyyy}} | ISSUE No. Two
Page 4 Seeing God's Grace in Caregiving
Regifted Grace® Grace
FINDING GRACE
Front Cover photo © 2019 Chuck Knapp
Strengthening Those Who Encourage Others
TABLE OF CONTENTS
3 It's About Sacrifice... Cheryl Crofoot Knapp 4 Finding Grace J. D. Wininger 9 Moving Past the Loss of a Child Kerri G. Daniels 12 Caregiver's Grace Cheryl Crofoot Knapp 15 Defining Moments Cheryl Crofoot Knapp 19 In the Words of a Caregiver Jeanette O'Conor 23 How to Grow Farther With God Jenny Reese Clark 26 Devotions for Caregivers Rev. Craig H. Bode 29 Books and Resources
Regifted Grace Ministry LLC is an interdenominational, non-profit Christian ministry created to encourage those impacted by long-term illness, particularly families and their caregivers. We seek to educate, encourage, and provide resources to those impacted by long-term illness. We have walked in your shoes or are there right now. And we want to lead you to discover collateral beauty in serving others and the belief that the grace is always greener on God's side. REGIFTED GRACE®: The Magazine is published electronically. Editor-in-Chief: Cheryl Crofoot Knapp Contributors: Kerri G. Daniels, Jenny Reese Clark, J.D. Wininger, Jeanette O'Conor, Craig Bode For submissions, subscriptions, queries, and advertising: P. O. Box 727, Yellville, Arkansas 72687 OR: cheryl@cherylcrofootknapp.com Compilation Copyright 2019 by Regifted Grace Ministry LLC. Each author preserves their individual copyright rights. Submissions: We accept submissions that uplift and encourage others. Please send by email by the first of each month. Maximum length is 1000 words; bio up to 150 words. Final discretion to use or not use a creative work is at the sole discretion of Regifted Grace Ministry. REGIFTED GRACE® is a federally registered service mark (5,025,954) of Regifted Grace Ministry LLC. Stock photos courtesy of Pixabay.com. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
Photo credit © 2019 Chuck Knapp
What comes to mind when you think about the month of May? Birthdays? Graduations? Mother’s Day? Memorial Day? What ties them together? Sacrifice. Treasured friendships are rich blessings. One of my lifelong friendships goes back to when I was six years old, and she was four. We were next-door neighbors and have shared our lives for more than 50 years. She teaches me unselfish sacrifice and devotion to family, friendships, work, and community, and gives me priceless gifts of friendship, trust, laughter, tears, and memories. May is her birthday month. Happy birthday, Karen! Graduations embody sacrifice by students and their families, regardless of whether the graduation is for pre-school or a Ph.D., or any degree in between. Graduates can be single parents, war veterans, caregivers, moms, dads, and from broken families. Students—and their families—sacrifice time, money, and energy to reach the new apex in their lives. Congratulations, students and families! Mothers. My mom was my lifetime friend, advocate, and cheerleader. We laughed and cried together. She sacrificed every day in serving our family, and she allowed my sister and me to find our own way in the world, mistakes and all. She put her own life on hold. And so it was an honor and privilege to be her advocate and life manager during her and Dad’s battles with Alzheimer’s. Thank you to all Moms for your eternal sacrifices! Memorial Day honors the sacrifices of those who have served in the military, including many who gave the ultimate sacrifice. It has also become a day to honor community servants, such as police, fire, and EMT personnel. My dad served in both Korea and on the Minneapolis Police Department. For all those who have served our nation and our communities, thank you so deeply for your sacrifices! One of the plaques at the Arkansas Korean War Memorial in Little Rock reads, “The beginning of courage is fear. Every soldier feels it. Bravery is not the lack of fear, but the ability to overcome it and do your duty.” The sacrifices of a caregiver are not without fear. But courage begins with fear, and courage breeds bravery and an ability to overcome the fear. You are a brave soldier doing battle caring for someone else. Thank you giving your life as a living sacrifice for another. As caregivers, we offer our lives as a living sacrifice by giving up our own needs, time, money, jobs, health, and freedoms to help someone else who might not be able to even thank us. God sees every struggle and every sacrifice. How we walk through this difficult journey is our spiritual act of worship. Caregiver, you are a courageous soldier, and we honor and thank you for your sacrifices.
... it's about sacrifice by Cheryl Crofoot Knapp, Editor
FINDING GRACE BY J. D. WININGER Copyright 2019 J. D. Wininger
“I’ll try them on, but they’re too large and will fall down! But I’m only putting on the pants.” He was almost screaming as he marched down the hall to his bedroom. The contempt in his voice hurt. Today, more than most, his words were venomous and filled with anger. “You want a smaller size? I’ll take them back and exchange them. But when you can’t breathe or move, you’re just going to be cold!” I yelled back. “Just humor me and try them on. Please.” All morning long, every request, plea, and attempt to help him met with flashing eyes and disdain. “All this for a stupid pair of flannel pajamas, Dad…,” as my voice trailed off. The Holy Spirit cautioned me. Let it go. Remember Exodus 20:12. This is not what we do to honor. As I followed him down the hallway, emotions flooded my mind. I thought, It’s a thousand miles from Texas to Florida. Sixteen hours. I could be there in twelve hours if I don’t get stopped for speeding. I could drop off his things and return home—to a peaceful home again. Sue could have him on a plane back to Florida by then. Less than two hours earlier, I hung up the telephone with my sister. “Sue, find him a nursing home, an assisted living facility, a dog house. I don’t care. If he hates it here this much, then I don’t want him here. Dad’s not a prisoner. He’s not a guest in our home. He’s my dad!” After Mom died fifteen years ago, my sweet sister Susan was the only person who could talk our dad off the ledge when he got this way. I begged, “Please call Dad and try to calm him down. He’s being impossible today.” I heard only Dad’s side of the conversation, but I could only imagine what Sue was saying to him on the phone. His comments suggested she was telling our dad that he was a guest in my home and to just get along with me, even when his son was acting just like him. “But I read the packaging, and they’ll never fit!” Dad pleaded. I knew what had happened. Yet, he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t let me explain his mistake. Maybe Sue can talk sense into him. Today I’ve given up. I won’t try any longer. Less than three hours earlier, I came in from shopping and brought him two pairs of flannel PJs. “Why did you do that?” he questioned. “Sue said she would send them.” “They were a gift from Susie. We wanted you to have them before it gets cold tomorrow,” I explained. He had been telling everyone who would listen how cold it was in our house. Every afternoon it was the same routine. Shivering at seventy-six degrees, he would announce he was “frozen to the core” and would put on his sweater or fluffy bathrobe and take a nap. I kept replaying the rationale behind my reasoning: The cost to ship new pajamas to Texas would be more than the clothing itself. The cold front would be here before Fedex® could arrive. Since he didn’t have flannel PJs, I would just get him some. Besides, he couldn’t walk around the house with the electric blanket wrapped around him. And, I knew buying them was the logical decision. Why couldn’t he see that? He stood in his bedroom, seething. “Can I help you with those?” He snapped, “I don’t need your help.” Knowing he would soon lose his balance, I waited. Here it comes! I reached out to steady him by his elbow. He snatched his arm from my grasp. He fell backward onto the bed and looked up at me. I reached out again and helped him stand. He pulled up his PJ bottoms, and I watched his expression change. “They fit!” he exclaimed. “Perfectly! How in the world?” As he sat back down on his bed, I handed him the top. “Can I explain now what happened, Dad?” He was ready to listen. I showed him the packaging and explained how he read the chest size instead of the waist size. He looked at me and said, “I’m so sorry Jim. I can’t believe I messed up.” My response became standard operating procedure over these past few months. “Don’t worry about it. Dad. It’s what love does.” I sat beside him and placed my hand in his. “Dad, we have to stop arguing and fighting over every little thing. We love you and want you happy here, but Diane and I can’t make you happy. Only you can decide your happiness.” He nodded in agreement. “I don’t understand it. How are you so much like me?” “Opinionated, strong-willed, and always right?” I smiled and added, “Well, Dad, there’s no question I’m your son.” We both laughed—they had adopted me in my teens! Donning his new, well-fitting pajamas, Dad and I walked out to the great room together. “Look, Di!” Dad said. “They fit like a glove. And I have two sets.” His voice was filled with child-like glee. He sat down at his computer across from her, and I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. I could hear them talking as my proud dad apologized for being such a burden. Diane stated, “It’s nothing, Dad. As we keep saying, it’s what love does.” The past few weeks were trying for all of us. I’m still not sure what created his discontent and unhappiness. Perhaps this was all a part of him adjusting to life with less independence. I’m more certain than ever it wasn’t the fact that Fall had arrived in Texas, or I had purchased him new PJs. As the day progressed, God reminded me of how much grace He has shown me and how I must show grace to my dad in return. I cried when I thought about how I allowed Dad’s emotions to control mine. I prayed that God would forgive my angry outburst and calm my spirit. I asked Him to help me find the grace to be a better caregiver in the days ahead. Dad had not yet been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I didn’t know it at the time, but the worst was yet to come. Since that turning-point day, I don’t think there’s been a single cross word between us. Oh, there are still moments when he complains about things to whoever will listen. We still disagree about the quantity of onions in the entrée, how fine or coarse to chop them, or how much salt to use. The worst times are when his severe anxiety and panic attacks in the middle of the night send me racing to his room. Medicine helps, but I still recite Psalm 23 with him several times a night while I place my hand on him to settle him. I can’t tell you what my dad prays, but my prayers remain the same. Father, please pour Your blessing out upon me. Give me patience, Lord, and more of Your grace to instill peace in our family. Help me take one more step, and give me strength for one more day. Lord, equip me with the tools You need me to have so I may live out Your commandment to honor my father and my mother. In Jesus’ precious name, I pray. Amen.
J.D. Wininger is an award-winning business writer and speaker who has authored hundreds of books and manuals, and thousands of contract-winning proposals by applying his God-given talents for writing and communicating throughout his career. He has written for national magazines, CBN.com, Refresh Bible Study magazine, and contributed to several books. Since retiring in 2011 to become a gentleman farmer and rancher in northeast Texas, J.D. applies his spiritual gifts and talents to teach compelling lessons in faith, heartfelt devotionals, and author nonfiction works in pursuit of increasing discipleship in Jesus Christ. A semi-retired consultant and copywriter, He and his wife Diane spend much of their time sharing God’s love through service in nearby communities. When not tending his cattle, Magic the donkey, Bubba the chocolate lab, an ever-growing number of barn cats, or doing chores, J.D. enjoys spending time researching, discovering, and glorifying his Lord.
https://jdwininger.com
How Jesus Moves Us Out of the Past and into His Love Often I ask myself, “Why me? What do I have to offer that not only glorifies Jesus, but helps someone else?” I heard someone say, “Don’t ever look back at your past. Keep moving forward.” My response is, really? How can you move forward if you can’t even get past your past? Anyone who has had to say goodbye to a child too soon knows exactly why they want life to stop and stay right where they are. Confusion, sadness, anger, guilt, and every other difficult emotion grabs hold of the heart and rips it into tiny little pieces that can never be put back together again. Empty Arms and an IV Pole This is me. Nine years ago, all I could do as this “child of God” was to yearn to lock the door and sink deeper into despair. I felt like Jesus slipped off to go bless someone else and left me there to die. How can a God who knew my heart’s desire to have a daughter take her home so shortly after her birth? I remember that day like it was yesterday. I desperately wanted to be like all the other mothers who were filled with joy as they held their babies. Instead, I had complications. All I had to show were my near-empty arms with an attached IV pole. There is no greater pain than knowing that, for the rest of your life, a child that you carried or gave birth to has died. Yes, I know she is with Jesus. Yes, I know I have other children. Yes, I know she could have had health problems. But she was mine, and I wanted to be her mommy here on this earth. Pain is Real and Deep The pain is real. And deep. I know how it feels. How could I get out of the past and move forward? The answer was Jesus. God loves you and wants to heal your broken heart. Grieving takes time. My season of grief took years. Nine years of asking, “Why, God?” Only Jesus knew the answer, and I had to trust Him enough to release me from the past and get me to a place of surrender. During times of uncertainty, I learned to: · Close my eyes. · Picture Him with opened arms. · Climb up into his lap like a little girl. ·Get as close to Jesus as I could. · Rest my head on His heart. With Jesus, I felt safe and loved. When I had nothing to give, and all my strength was gone, He was able to fill my soul with His love and strength and move me to walk by faith, not by sight. I had to let go and let God. Moving Forward How can you offer help to someone if you have never experienced a deep despair (like a loss of a child, loss of a job, cancer, a sick child, etc.)? How we move forward and get past the hurt can only be found in Jesus. If I had not looked back to revisit my past, I would have missed the beautiful story that He continues to write in my life today. My fear turned to faith, the uncertainty turned to hope, and my pain turned to love because “God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 ESV). When I had nothing to give, He did. He can do the same for you if you let Him. If you’re hurting, it is my prayer that you allow Jesus to cradle you in His arms and know that, as He cradles you in one hand, He’s holding your precious child in the other. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV) Kerri Gene Daniels is an author, writer, and a passionately avid journaler who lives in Adrian, Michigan. Kerri is a wife, mother, beloved daughter, and twin to her best friend and sister, Sherri. When not helping her husband Rick on the farm or spending time with her family, Kerri loves to throw on her cowboy hat and boots, sit on her back porch - overlooking their farmland, and play guitar. Above all else, Kerri loves singing the praises of her Lord and her Savior, Christ Jesus. Born in Lansing, Michigan, but a lifetime resident of Adrian, you will find Kerri either on her back deck playing guitar while deer pass by to hear her or trudging through her garden, tearing out weeds, and praying over her favorite fruits and veggies. https://kerridanielsministries.com
MOVING PAST THE LOSS OF A CHILD By Kerri G. Daniels COPYRIGHT 2018 KERRI G. DANIELS
CAREGIVER'S GRACE by Cheryl Crofoot Knapp
Are you walking through suffering, loss or hardship? Have you embarked on the eve of restoration and hope to regain the losses of health, finances, time or relationships? Do you wish you could find the energy to break free and be “stronger than ever”? And then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in His eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever. Yes, He will set you firmly in place and build you up. (1 Peter 5:10 TPT) Suffering? Restoration? Stronger than ever? Powerful words of promise. And the key word is grace. God’s grace is always in His hands, power, and authority. It’s never late, never early, and always on time. Grace is undeserved and unmerited, a divine favor from God for a sacred purpose or for spiritual renewal and growth. He freely gives it, just as He freely gave His Son as a love sacrifice for sin. We are truly saved by grace! (Ephesians 2:4-5) There is absolutely nothing we can do to earn God’s grace, except to put Him first in our lives through a relationship with Jesus. We can neither ask for grace nor expect it. It’s always at the Father’s discretion. And so is mercy. God’s counterpart to grace (being given something wonderful that we don’t deserve) is God’s mercy (not being given the consequences we do deserve). Mercy substitutes a consequence with compassion and kindness. God is the eternal Judge, and mercy is His absolution for our iniquities. God offers us eternal life, even though we deserve eternal death. By mercy and grace, God pardons our sins through faith in Jesus and pours out His love into our lives. Before we can give grace to others, we must first receive it through Jesus Christ. Grace can’t flow through us until it is filled in us by the presence of the Holy Spirit. Because of God’s grace and mercy, we are never separated from His love. Jesus knows what it feels like to experience the darkest hours because He experienced them first. Because of Jesus, we are promised that neither death nor life, neither present nor future, nor anything in creation can separate us from the love of God and His gifts of grace and mercy. (Romans 8:31-39) Because of God’s grace and mercy, we are shielded: For the Lord God is brighter than the brilliance of a sunrise! Wrapping Himself around me like a shield, He is so generous with His gifts of grace and glory. Those who walk along His paths with integrity will never lack one thing they need, for He provides it all! (Psalm 84:11 TPT) Because of God’s grace and mercy, we are strengthened: So here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Leave all your cares and anxieties at the feet of the Lord, and measureless grace will strengthen you. (Psalm 55:22 TPT) Because of God’s grace and mercy, we are sustained: Yes, God is more than ready to overwhelm you with every form of grace, so that you will have more than enough of everything—every moment and in every way. He will make you overflow with abundance in every good thing you do. (2 Cor. 9:8 TPT) When Jesus hung on the cross, He suffered excruciating and unimaginable torture that He didn’t deserve. Greater than the pain He felt was the joy He experienced giving us the gift of eternal life. As a caregiver, greater than the pain I felt was the joy I experienced by serving my mom and interceding on her behalf. I could be angry at Alzheimer’s and question what she did to deserve it or wonder what my dad did to deserve it. But the reality is that I was chosen to serve them for the glory of God. It was agonizing to watch my dad slip away, and it was even more difficult to be a daily eyewitness to my mom slipping further away. She eventually forgot most of the people and places that were once important in her life. But with God’s help, I could disengage from the struggle and delicately hold my mom in my heart and in my arms, and she remembered me to the very end. Grace is God’s abundant grace poured out in us so we can regift it to others—what an amazing expression of God’s love passing through us as caregivers! We are imperfect vessels, but He gives us His perfect gift of grace and delights in us when we can regift it to others. 1 Timothy 1:16 (TPT) says, “Yet I was captured by grace, so that Jesus Christ could display through me the outpouring of His spirit as a pattern to be seen for all those who would believe in Him for eternal life.” This is how Regifted Grace® magazine and ministry were born! We receive the grace and mercy that God lavishes on us and share it as an outpouring of love, joy, kindness, and compassion to those we love and/or for whom we are caregivers, even if they don’t know who we are anymore. When I understood that God’s mercy and grace to me is intended to flow through me to others, I had a deeper sense of purpose—God’s purpose. Every compassionate gift of mercy and grace that you show your loved ones truly matters, to your loved ones and to God. My prayer and hope is that, going forward, recognizing your purpose will make the difficult times a little easier and the tender times even more memorable. When the burdens of caregiving, or life, weigh you down and you're looking for where God is in your situation, I invite you to CLICK HERE for an inspiring music video of Hillary Scott and her song "Thy Will." You will be reminded that God's will is always your refuge.
Website: http://www.hillaryscott.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HillaryScott... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hillaryscottla Twitter: https://twitter.com/hillaryscottla Music video by Hillary Scott & The Scott Family performing Thy Will. (C) 2016 EMI Records Nashville
DEFINING MOMENTS
by Cheryl Crofoot Knapp
“Why am I here? Why can’t I be dead?” Mom’s words spoken through a filter of mid-stage Alzheimer’s horrified me. How could our nightly phone call take such a terrifying turn? I already lost my dad to Alzheimer’s. The reality of my mom’s battle with the same disease with the same terminal outcome socked me in the gut. It was a defining moment in our relationship, and I didn’t like it. As her daughter and caregiver, our relationship became defined by a disease that would take her away from me. Two years later, an Emergency Room doctor needed me to instruct whether he was to resuscitate my mom. How could I be prepared to do that? I prayed for months that Jesus wouldn’t let her suffer anymore. But as I begged the doctor to let my mom go, I didn’t expect the horrid tumult inside of me which challenged the core of my faith. Was she really going to a better place? A nurse escorted me to her after her heart labored through its final beat. I struggled to breathe. But I stood beside my beautiful Mom, kissed her lips, held her hand, praised, cried, and said goodbye as my tears drenched her hospital gown. Amos 9:11 says, “I will repair its broken walls and restore its ruins— and will rebuild it as it used to be.” (NIV) My mom was no longer broken by Alzheimer’s. My best friend of 58 years was being restored. But I was separated from her, and my life felt broken. I questioned, Is God for real? Is Heaven for real? Defining moments interrupt and change the direction of our life’s compass. One unexpected defining moment for me was when I recognized the need for Jesus and understood that Jesus knocked at the door of my life, waiting for me to invite Him in (Revelation 3:14). When I opened the door and let Him come in, I was radically changed from the inside out. Jesus filled the spiritual hole in my heart, and my sins were released. My mom had opened the door for Jesus too. Because of that, I often told Mom, “When Jesus comes for you, it’s okay to go home.” It was one thing to know she believed in Jesus, but telling the doctor to let her die was an unexpected defining moment that challenged my belief in Heaven. I thought about the thief on the cross who was told, “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43 NIV), and the Lord’s Prayer which Mom and I prayed together every night that says, “Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10 NIV). Is God for real? Is Heaven for real? Yes. Twenty minutes after Mom died, I felt her index finger twitch and saw a white spark shoot up from her fingertip that sent a surge of static electricity through mine. No wires connected her to any machine. Moments later, the room felt empty. I silently praised my Creator for His faithfulness in defining moments. Was the twitch when Mom reached for Jesus? Was the electrical surge when her spirit left her body for Heaven? Was I touched by the Holy Spirit during the release of my mom’s spirit? Did God give me a glimpse of Heaven? Defining moments brought me to a belief that God and Heaven are for real. God doesn’t have to give me defining moments, but He offers them as His love gifts. If I dare to believe in His eternal love, and trust that His kingdom come and His will be done, He will show me grace in His presence. Why? Because He loves, He promises, and because He can. Just as God restored the House of David, He restores me into spiritual eternity. And I believe God’s Spirit escorts His children personally into His glory.
Cheryl Crofoot Knapp lost both parents to Alzheimer’s and is passionate about using her life experiences to encourage others. She's a devoted Christ follower, caregiving survivor, wife, mother, and Mrs. Minnesota-America 1996. She authored Undefeated Innocence, writes devotions featured on Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN.com), spoke at the Passionate in Purple Gala, and participates in Walks to End Alzheimer’s. Her blog is at cherylcrofootknapp.com, and you can email her at cheryl@cherylcrofootknapp.com. Her book can be purchased at: https://amzn.to/2QvbDyL. She writes “Caregivers Corner: Caring for Parents,” which is featured in Broken But Priceless online magazine. She is a frequent co-facilitator at the Mruk Center on Aging’s Alzheimer’s Dementia Caregiving Support Group meetings. Cheryl and her husband are members of First Baptist Church of Mountain Home (Arkansas), participates in Walks to End Alzheimer’s, and she has served in Bible study, worship, evangelism, and prison ministries. She founded Regifted Grace Ministry and shares her contagious faith at conferences, retreats, banquets, and churches, as well as on television and radio interviews.
Copyright © 2017 Cheryl Crofoot Knapp.
iN THE WORDS OF A CAREGIVER: bEING pRESENT By jEANETTE o'cONOR, Ph.D., M.S., M.N. copyright 2019 jeanette o'conor
I have been processing my journey of caring for my mother during her final years of life with Alzheimer’s disease, and now caring for my father in his waning stage of life. I have looked deeply at myself as a daughter, as a caregiver, as a professional in the health care field, and as a business owner. During this journey, there were so many times that I beat myself up for taking on this task of caregiving. I beat myself up because I couldn’t manage them and a job. I beat myself up because I couldn’t manage them and build my business. I beat myself up because I couldn’t manage them and my own well-being and happiness. I beat myself up because I couldn’t manage to find time to put on makeup or get a haircut, or some days even look presentable. But then, I began to see this journey more fully. I stepped into this task of caregiving with my whole heart, mind, and spirit. Not only did I fully show up for my parents, and not only was I fully present for them, but I allowed myself to be open and vulnerable, and to step into the deep abyss. I took a huge risk. I allowed myself to commingle in the pain and suffering of their journey and mine. I came out stronger, more loving and compassionate, and truer to myself than I have ever been. I learned of their lifelong hardships and fears. I discovered how those belief patterns played out in me during my life. I was brave to allow such vulnerability. I was brave to look deeply into my own pain and truths to be present for them—and to be more present in me. I learned to fully show up for me. I should never beat myself up for doing the right thing, as hard as it may be and with such great risk. I should never berate myself for not being successful at my business while fully honouring the work with my parents, and my inner work. Others look in and have judged or criticized me, my process, and what I have “not yet achieved” in business. They have no place to do so—no right to do so—because they have not shown up fully in their own lives, diving into the depths of love and compassion. We each choose our journey, our focus, our passion. My soul purpose on this earth is to support others through their disease and pain by means of love, compassion, and healing. In his world of materialistic accomplishments, love and compassion serve little purpose; yet for me, it is all there is. I will no longer negate the divine work I have done and continue to do because it does not fit someone else’s view of value or meet their expectations. I will always show up and be present when love, compassion, and healing are called for. And, I will honour myself for stepping into the hard, the challenging, the pain, the struggle, the abyss, because I am brave, I am strong, and love and compassion is all that matters. May those of you in this journey return to loving yourselves fully, for the power and strength and gift that you are. May we all be blessed in finding our truths.
Jeanette O’Conor is the Director and Founder of Maya Center for Integrated Medicine & Research in Isle La Motte, Vermont. The center provides consulting in transforming health care delivery systems by developing and setting core agendas, goals and plans to transform health care delivery systems to meet organizational mission and vision. The Maya Center offers complex chronic case management services for adults and elders with complex disease or end of life care needs, including care for psychiatric illness, dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, and other complex disease states. It develops and conducts educational training programs in specialized management of those living with a changing brain (dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, TBI, stroke) and hospice/palliative care. It incorporates evidence-based integrative health care modalities into care planning to promote preventative health and enhance well-being. The Maya Retreat Center is a destination retreat center for evidence-based integrative health and wellness programs, therapies, and services designed to optimize health and wellness. It specializes in supporting those with complex chronic health conditions and includes biodynamic farm to table food, permaculture food forest, and organic medicinals. The Center is open for healing retreats, private stays, health-related workshops and board retreats.
HOW TO GROW FArTHER WITH GOD by jenny reese clark copyright 2016 jenny reese clark
And so I watched him step out of what he had grown accustomed to and teach, with excitement, on a subject that challenges him even on his very best day… Have you ever watched someone grow as they were growing? It may sound like a funny question, but it is not an impossible thing to see. My husband has a habit of thinking out loud. As you can probably imagine, this has been both a blessing and a burden in our marriage. Recently, he was appointed as an advisor to a very important ministry on our military post. Though it is exciting and a new major responsibility, it is way outside of his comfort zone and requires that he flex every ministry muscle God has given him. The fact that it is an all-women’s program aside, our president chose Enjoy the Journey as the new theme for our upcoming year. While I was pumped up about developing programs to help teach Joy, at home he not-so-secretly revealed to me the challenge that this presented to him in his own personal walk with Christ. Over the last five years, my husband became an expert on grieving. After he suffered a major loss in his life and needed to fulfill his God-given call to ministry, he devoted much of his time to study the subject in order to learn how to best witness out of the pain that remained in his life. While we have discussed the importance of Joy many times (and there is no debate on how essential it is to a Christian’s character), it is something that has been and still is hard for him to incorporate into his daily battle rhythm. While sorrow finds its place easily, the choice to enjoy his circumstances has been difficult for him to make. Being known for my excitement and having unfairly boosted this man to another level of human because he is a preacher, I’ve often found myself insensitive towards this weakness. I always thought that since he knows the Bible better than me, Joy couldn’t possibly elude him. Besides that, I began to take it personally that our new life together wasn’t blessing enough to remove this burden from constantly troubling him. I was wrong, and he grew discouraged. Once my husband found out that he was selected to facilitate our first summer workshop on Enjoying Our Savior, we were both equally unsure of the outcome. Teaching Joy without passion is an insult to the One who created it, and my husband is not okay with hurting Jesus. After my husband realized the seriousness of his assignment, he prayed over his situation and committed to study true biblical Joy like he had never done before. Every few days, he would share with me some of his new discoveries. It amazed me to watch as his eyes opened to a new perspective in life. When he came home and told me that, just as the Lord helped him learn how to minister out of his grief, he was now learning how to support others through Joy, my heart smiled beyond measure. God’s way is not always our way; His timing is perfect. God knew exactly what my husband needed to learn, exactly at the moment he needed to learn it. Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. ~ Psalm 21:14
Jenny Reese Clark is a living testimony of what true faith in Jesus Christ can bring. As a multiple felon of various drug charges including Unlawful Manufacturing of Methamphetamines, Jenny is no stranger to breaking the rules or suffering their consequences. Today, Jenny is recognized by the Alabama Department of Mental Health as a Certified Peer Support Specialist and has since received a Pardon from the State of Alabama. As the wife of a US Army Chaplain, she continues to reach out through her own military ministry known as The Spencer Project. While she actively blogs and speaks about her own spiritual journey, she is also a contributing author for Lift Up Your Day, a website designed to encourage believers through written stories and podcasts and The Life of a Single Mom Ministries, which strives to establish support groups and programming for single parents to promote self-sufficiency in parenting, finances, and health & wellness. Jenny is also an active volunteer with Fort Benning's Protestant Women of the Chapel and served as the Vice President of Programs for 2016-2017.
LONELINESS: It is a mystery and irony of our modern age that, in a world with over 7½ billion people, so many still battle loneliness today. Perhaps you are one of them. Loneliness is considered by some to be the deepest of all of life's sorrows, profound in its effect, and devastating in its consequences. Even when you know that others want to be there for you and with you, you still are forced to reluctantly admit and accept that there are times when they cannot be there for you, leaving you alone. But the offer and promise of Jesus is eternal companionship. His commitment to you is the same guarantee He made to the thief on the cross: "Truly I tell you, today you will be with Me in paradise." (Luke 23:34 NIV) Jesus doesn't just offer you immortality, He offers you His eternal companionship! Hear again today His assuring words expressing His complete commitment to you: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5b NIV) THE LORD SPEAKS: Who better to direct your life and world than the one who created them. You can be confident of that in your prayers: "Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn Your commands." (Psalm 119:73 NIV) God understands you, the people around you, and the world in which you live. He came in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ, to be "one of us" and to face and overcome the same life, challenges, trials and temptations that you are confronting today. Your Creator speaks to you today through His Word, sending His Holy Spirit to enlighten and enliven you. He knows what you need and will deliver needed understanding and insight for your day as you open His Word in prayer. LOVE CALLING: Can you trust God that He has made you who you are and placed you where you are for a very good reason as a critical piece of His plan and an integral part of His purpose? King Solomon was reminded of this: "Because the Lord loves His people, He has made you their king.” (2 Chronicles 2:11 NIV) God has you where He wants you because of His love for the people who orbit your life and invade your day. Your life is not your idea, but His calling. You are being asked by God to be an expression of His love for the people in your life and a critical player in His plan to "love the world" (John 3:16) and save it through the finished work of Jesus Christ. Today, trust God and allow Him to use you to love the people He has placed in your life. GOD'S BATTLE: There are some fights that need to be fought. But fear often accompanies such challenges, making it easy to back down. delay or avoid taking up the contest. When confronted with fear in your heart, remind yourself: "Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God Himself will fight for you. ... For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works You do?" (Deuteronomy 3:22, 24b NIV) What courage ... what peace ... what confidence this truth supplies you with. And what ultimate victory it assures you as you witness the deeds and mighty works that only God can do. In all of your "fights" today, you are not alone. "The Lord your God Himself will fight for you." So do not back away from fighting any fight that needs to be fought today.
Devotions for Caregivers
BY REV. CRAIG H. BODE COPYRIGHT 2018-2019 CRAIG H. BODE
After graduating in 1980 with a Masters of Divinity in Biblical Studies from Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Indiana, Rev. Craig H. Bode was ordained and called as Pastor of Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Euclid, Ohio, where he served for 32 years before accepting the call to serve as Pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church in Fort Pierce, Florida. Craig and his wife of 42 years enjoy immensely the family God has given them, including daughters Emily and Sara and son Paul and their families which have blessed them with 11 grandchildren. For more information, Craig can be contacted at craig.bode@gmail.com. You can subscribe to his daily posts on Facebook (craig.h.bode) or follow him on Twitter (@CraigBode).
glorified un-expectations bY kerri gene daniels CLICK ON TITLE TO PURCHASE
Broken. Scared. Scarred. That pretty much sums up the reality of how I felt as a caregiver and losing both parents to Alzheimer’s, a terminal disease that is painfully brutal, we know how it ends, there is no cure, and it doesn’t get better. I pleaded with God to not allow them to suffer anymore. And I asked God the question, “Where are you in Alzheimer’s?” I began looking for the answers in scripture and was amazed at what I found. I found permission to mourn. I found grace. And I began to discover the collateral beauty in Alzheimer’s. Sometimes caregiving got ugly, and sometimes it felt like no one else really understood. But God always understood, and He walked the journey with me. You are not alone–according to the Alzheimer’s Association 2018 Facts and Figures report, 5.7 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, and over 16.1 million caregivers gave 18.4 billion hours of care valued over $232 billion. If you feel broken, stressed, scared, scarred, tear-stained, fear-filled, and weary, I’ve been standing right where you are. And I wasn’t defeated by it. I’m still standing, and a better person because of it. UNDEFEATED INNOCENCE will help you find hope in difficult circumstances and the grace to get up one day at a time with one foot in front of the other.
Kerri Gene Daniels is an extraordinary woman with an extraordinary story. Expecting to live that fairy tale life, at an early age, Kerri discovered just how difficult life can be. Rather than being devoured and ruled by deep dark despair, Kerri would turn to the only one who could heal and rescue her up out of what became her turbulent life: Jesus Christ. Through the pages of this, her maiden book and Mother's memoir, Kerri illuminates how each human-challenging trial brought her ever closer to the Lord. In fact, as you read Kerri's empowering and God-inspiring true story, you will discover the personal intimacy of God's love in the midst of this life's excruciating uncertainty. Find hope in hopeless situations. Grow faith in Jesus Christ; regardless of life’s circumstances. Learn to love as Christ loves. Find true joy in what appears to be unmanageable situations. Live a day-by-day, God-abiding Spirit-filled life. Identify God’s purpose to gain true meaning for your life. Through the pages of this, her maiden book and Mother’s memoir, Kerri illuminates how each human-challenging trial brought her ever closer to the Lord.
UNDEFEATED INNOCENCE by cheryl crofoot knapp CLICK ON TITLE TO PURCHASE
To change one s field of influence is to change the course of one's life. "I have come to a point. If I move one more step in any direction, I have to acknowledge that I passed serious long ago. I pursue an ever-eluding precursor of death, and I'm never satisfied when I find it. The time I spend in pleasure does not outweigh the chase, and the reasons why I continue in this parody of life baffle me." - U.S. Marine Thurman Casey Shaw With an honorable discharge and wounds more than surface deep, United States Marine Thurman Casey Shaw leaves one war zone to battle for a half-life existence in another. With a former brother as his only friend in New York, Casey loses himself inside of a world that he can't escape. Addiction and desperate times lead him to an unusual proposal; Once you ingest the contents of this box, you must loosen its hold on your life forever. Accepting the challenge out of pure hopelessness, Casey has no clue that when he wakes up, his life will change whether he wants it to or not. "This novel is a step by step walk through of one of the most dangerous places one can be. While filled with strong emotional content, the array of feelings are broad and explained in a way only one who has been there knows and can. As a former prisoner, I was spared by the same grace offered to Casey. Redemption, sacrifice, faith, and love are all core elements found in this work. It begins serious and ends even more intense. This Marine's story is written for all who seek answers and my goal is that once read, those answers forge next steps."
FIELD OF INFLUENCE by jenny reese clark CLICK ON TITLE TO PURCHASE
Donna Marentay will be hosting an Alzheimer’s Disease & Dementia Care Seminar in Midland Michigan on June 11, 2019. This is the required class for anyone seeking Certification as a Dementia Practitioner, as well as anyone who just wants to advance their skills and understanding of Alzheimer’s Disease and other types of Dementia. Upon completion of the Seminar, participants are then able to apply to the National Counsel of Certified Practitioners for Certification. The class offers 7 CEUs available to Nurses through the CEU Network. To learn more about the class and Certification as a Dementia Practitioner, please visit www.NewDawnDementia.com.
dementia care seminar and certification (cdp)
Jesus can be trusted with the details of whatever you're facing. He is who He says He is and is ready to shepherd your journey and give you eternal life with Him. If you desire to say yes to Jesus, you may pray this prayer: Jesus, I know I am a sinner and fall short of righteousness. I don't want to be excluded from Your promise of restoration and eternal life. My desire is to turn away from sin and follow Your leading and direction for my life. There is emptiness in my life without You. You died in my place and rose again so I could spend eternity with You. Please forgive my sins yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Please come into my life as my Lord and Savior. In your precious name I pray. Amen.
Back Cover photo credit © 2019 Chuck Knapp
