How to use personal power to reach your next spiritual level
How to change your life story through increased awareness
How to be happy again after depression, even if you're still sad
What happens when you find your purpose?
Photo by Christopher Sardegna
2017 / Issue 17
PRACTICING EMPOWERMENT THROUGH CHANGE
L E A R N M O R E
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Understanding how to use personal power to reach your next spiritual level is the key to achieving this transition. According to writer and theorist Ken Wilber, development is a continuum of processes that takes us from psychological “growing up” to spiritual “waking up”. Growing up refers to our personal development, while waking up refers to our spiritual development. In other words, our individual development of personal power allows us to reach our spiritual enlightenment.
Your personal power is central to your spiritual growth. The key component of this empowerment is recognizing that you are “at cause” for everything that happens in your life. In other words, the common denominator in each and every situation you encounter is you. Taking responsibility for your life, in a loving and compassionate way, will launch you to your next spiritual level.
Here are a few action steps you can take so that you can learn how to use personal power to reach your next spiritual level:
It takes two to tango. Yes, the person you’re in conflict with may not have done right by you, but before you go on the offense, figure out the ways you have contributed to the conflict situation. The time you spend thinking about your own contribution to a conflict is not meant to assuage guilt from anyone else, but it will help you see your own role and help you be as constructive as possible with your feedback. Be honest with yourself.
How to use personal power is often about looking for ways to create more of what we want. If you do not like the way a situation -- or even your whole life -- is going, you can choose to create more of what you want. Spend less time discussing, arguing, or even engaging with what you are trying to get rid of, and start to focus your efforts in the direction you want to go.
Clear communication finds its ground in your personal power. It is from the place of clarity and responsibility that we find in our personal power that we are able to constructively interact with the world around us. From here, we are able to let others know what we truly want, and negotiate the details of how it comes to us. The clearer that we are with our communication, the easier it is to create and co-create our vision for our life.
Our spiritual development is grounded in our ability to be intentional. What do we want to create in our life? How are we showing up to each moment? Being intentional is a sign that we are effectively using our personal power. It is a sign that we are connecting to ourselves and what the deepest part of ourselves wants.
What good is a sense of personal power if we leave a wake a disruptions behind us as we claim our place in the world? A sure sign that you are using your personal power effectively is that you are able to be gracious in most situations. This ability to be responsive, kind, and supportive will ensure that you have less to clean up as you change your life and will allow you to take your next steps more easily.
I help women step into their personal power and gain control of their life. To learn more, click here to sign up for my newsletter, or here to learn how my Personal Breakthrough Intensive will help you reach your next level.
Photo by Stephen Leonardi
How To USE Personal Power to Reach Your Next Spiritual Level
By Kate Siner
Photo by Scott Webb
by Kelly Milukas
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it”
― Gautama Buddha
How to Change Your Life Story Through increased Awareness
By Kate Siner
At 15 years old, I was a mess. I was exceptionally miserable, smoking, drinking, and dabbling in drugs. Perhaps, some of you can relate? For me, on any particular day I could be sobbing in the bathroom, cutting myself, contemplating suicide, or just being plain reckless.
Photo by Evrin Aydin
I wish I could say that the despair started at 15, or ended then, but if I go back in my mind I can find it starting in my early childhood, and it lasted years later.
There are many ways that pain like this gets categorized: The histrionics of an adolescence, an uncommon experience of an unfortunate individual, growing pains (*rolls eyes*)… However you define it, my 15 year old self could not cope. For me, my pain became the story that guided the first part of my life. Learning how to change your life story is a skill that takes practice and it's something you need to truly want. Here’s what I learned from my own experience of channeling my awareness to wake up and change my story to one of happiness, abundance, and purpose.
The first question is, "How did it happen in the first place?"
What happened to me happens to many people. Repeatedly and systematically, I was told that my instincts were wrong, that my emotional responses were bad, that my way of being was unacceptable. I was told I needed to think a certain way to be smart. I needed to feel a certain way to be good. I needed to talk a certain way to be accepted. My life became a series of acts, transactions, and obligations. I was disconnected from my own truth.
My experience is not unique and this was not done to me out of cruelty. In fact, sometimes it was done by people who were trying their best to be loving and supportive. Collectively, we lack the broad knowledge of essential tools that help people create a personal experience that truly serves them. Instead, we default to a misguided status quo as if every individual would be fulfilled by meeting cookie cutter expectations and norms.
Unfortunately, by the time most people have reached the end of their childhood they have little idea of who they are, negligible emotional intelligence, and a profoundly deep belief that they need to be another person to be loved. We feel this way at the culmination of our “formative years.” We learn to compensate for what we have come to believe are our shortcomings and weaknesses – we act the part to get by. Most of us forget that there is an alternative.
Our limiting story has to be put into place.
Our first step in using awareness to change our life story is to begin to wake up to what is meaningful and enjoyable to us. It starts by pursuing a life where details large and small are things that are meaningful to us. We define what is “meaningful” through a process of personal inquiry into who we truly are. Giving ourselves this approach to life is a sign of love and respect.
As we begin to live in a way that feels right to us, we begin to uncover our own gifts. Often, these gifts have been covered over by the conditioning of our earlier lives. Many times, when we unpack what we thought was our fatal flaw we discover a powerful gift and a major part of our contribution to the world.
Our actions help us become more aware, they shift what we believe about ourselves and what we think is possible.
It is in this way that so much of who we are goes unrealized and our potential power to create our own wellbeing and positive change gets lost. Some of our seemingly meaningless quirks have a productive and positive application, we just need to wake up enough to begin looking for it. When we do, we feel better about ourselves and we begin to make a more positive contribution to the world.
ACCEPTANCE AND FORGIVENESS
Practicing forgiveness and acceptance is the key and to changing our story. Acceptance and forgiveness are for both for ourselves and for others. It only takes a few trips to a therapist or an in depth writing exercise to become aware of our story. It takes a little more time to see how we keep ourselves on the hook and to begin the process of giving self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. Many people never develop this foundational respect for themselves and instead mask it with things like accolades, egoism, or bitterness.
Likewise, we cannot truly move forward until we have accepted the events of our lives and forgiven the people who we believe have hurt us. If we can become more aware of where we are holding onto past hurts, we can release them and liberate ourselves to create an entirely different narrative.
The third awareness tool for changing our story is self love. As we become aware of what true self-love looks and feels like and learn to live it more in each moment, we begin to see our story differently and to envision an alternative story that better suits us.
When our self-love is strong enough, we are able to face the painful challenges of life. We are able to learn from what is happening and apply it to our life in a way that makes us stronger and more ourselves. As a result, we change the narrative.
The wisdom that gets developed when living life from a place of self love and acceptance.
This wisdom can be applied to every moment of our lives. Our developed ability to hold ourselves in a place of love and take affirming action in the face of opposition has the power to transform our world. If we no longer negate ourselves or feel the need to justify and rationalize our pain, if we are able to act constructively when faced with the obstacles of life, if we are able to remember that we are the critical change agent of each moment, then what we can accomplish individually and collectively is without parallel.
Each day holds countless moments in which we can shift things in the direction of the positive, in which we have the opportunity to leave the past and create something powerful and new moving forward. I did it and I can help you if you want to learn how to change your life story. To learn more click here to sign up for my newsletter.
Artwork by Kelly Milukas
“I once read in my physics book that the universe begs to be observed, that energy travels and transfers when people pay attention. Maybe that's what love really boils down to--having someone who cares enough to pay attention so that you're encouraged to travel and transfer, to make your potential energy spark into kinetic energy.”
― Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes
Depression is a clinical term used to label a group of behaviors and internal experiences associated with a depressed mood. It is also a clinical diagnosis. Depression is different than being sad. Sadness is a normal part of life and, as long as you are not feeling it all the time, it is actually a healthy thing for you to feel. It is important to realize that learning how to be happy again after depression looks slightly different for everyone.
Sometimes, we battle our way through a bad bout of depression and come out on the other side, only to find ourselves still feeling sad. While this can be a frustrating and disappointing reality about life “after” depression, it is important to acknowledge that feeling sadness can be an indicator of positive progress. Depression often leaves us unable to feel anything at all, let alone sad. It may not be your first pick for your team, but sadness truly has its hidden virtues.
The truth is that “after depression” just isn’t a reality for many people. Depression is actually a lifelong challenge that we learn to live and work with, more and more effectively. So, it’s understandable that knowing how to be happy again after depression may seem far-fetched or unattainable to many. And if you’re depressed, you should not be ashamed about that experience or of asking for help. If you are in that “after-depression” space, it can take a bit to get back to regular habits.
Here are some tips to help you get back on track.
1. Give yourself time to be sad.
If you are still feeling sad the most important thing you can do is give yourself space to feel that way. Be deliberate. Sit on the couch for an hour and let yourself be sad. Then, get up and get moving.
2. Start slow.
Often times depression leads to inactivity which can push us out of the healthy habits that we might have at other points in our life. Don’t expect to jump straight back into all your activities. Give yourself lots of time to slowly bring things back. It is good to push yourself, but don’t push too hard.
3. Make it easy.
Sometimes what was a small step for us when feeling better is a huge step after being depressed for awhile. The smaller and easier you can make your new activities, the more likely you are to succeed. Give yourself that chance.
4. Acknowledge your progress.
It can be easy to be critical of your abilities and your progress, especially if you have an anxiety disorder that exacerbates this behavior. It is vital that you acknowledge each new and beneficial thing you add to your life. You just ran an emotional marathon and now you are showing up at the gym. This is no small thing.
5. Choose the lesser of two evils.
Our perspective gets skewed when we are depressed. We lose sight of what is good for us. When you are recovering from depression, you might feel as though you are choosing between something that is not so good and something that is worse. Try and choose the easier or slightly better option.
6. Take a day off.
Yes you want to get back on track, but if you give yourself a moment to breathe, it may help you get where you want to go faster in the end.
7. Stick with it.
You did not get to where you are in one day. You won't get to where you want to be in one day either. Keep making efforts and you will see results, even if it takes time. You’ve got this.
Mental illness isn’t something you can just will to go away, but there are treatments that can help you deal with your depression.
If you’re still feeling sad after your depression, I hope these actionable tips help you. Life is a continuous journey and it usually isn’t a smooth one. Whether you suffer from depression or not, the best thing you can do for yourself is build up these life skills and techniques so that you can put them into place when you’re able. My LifeWork Community program is a great way to help you build practices that will support your wellbeing. Click here to learn more.
How to Be Happy Again After Depression
Even if You're Still Sad
By Kate Siner
Photo by Jose Alfredo Lerma Contreras
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Connect with others and develop a sense of community.
Deepen your spiritual connection.
GROUP HEALING INTENSIVE IS FOR YOU IF:
You feel as if you’re stuck or cannot get out of your own way in some part of your life.
You’re ready to take a giant step forward in your life.
You’ve done personal development work (group or private therapy) in the past, and feel ready to go further and simply be done with whatever has been holding you back.
You’re ready for deep, life-changing transformation.
Group Healing Intensive incorporates the power of community, the intimacy of personalized care, and the efficacy of tried and tested techniques. During the 2-day intensive, you and 5 other people will work to activate your personal story for clearing, clear deeply rooted emotions, and undergo a personalized healing facilitated by me and supported by your group members. The intensive is intimate and deeply transformational.
god must have kneaded you and i
from the same dough
rolled us out on the baking sheet
must have suddenly realized
how unfair it was
to put that much magic in one person
and sadly split that dough in two
how else is it that
when i look in the mirror
i am looking at you
when you breathe
my own lungs fill with air
that we just met but we
have known each other our whole lives
if we were not made as one to begin with
our souls are mirrors - rupi kaur
In case you have been in doubt about whether it would be helpful to find and live your life purpose, I can tell you that when you find your purpose your life will fundamentally change for the better.
And, while, your life purpose is often less esoteric and much simpler than you would expect, the effects of finding it are beyond profound.
JUST THE GOOD STUFF
Finding your life purpose makes it obviously clear what is important and what is less important to you. This will shift the way that you make decisions in your life. It can change who you feel motivated to associate yourself with and how you decide to spend your time. People who know their life purpose are not content with letting life just roll on by - they are motivated to be deliberate and create a life that honors their purpose.
Knowing your life purpose will turn you into a magnet for the things that support your life purpose. Often times, when we connect to our life purpose we no longer have to work as hard to create what we want to create. The alignment with our life purpose helps create an ease and flow of between our life and what we need to fulfill it.
When you know your life purpose, you feel more confident and find focus. If before you felt that you needed to be good at things that it was unlikely you would ever excel at, your life purpose will make it very clear where your strengths lie. Understanding and claiming your strengths will leave you exuding high levels of personal confidence.
ALL ABOUT YOU
Another way to talk about life purpose is to say that it is a distilled and refined expression of who you truly are. There are lots of reasons people go looking for their life purpose, but when we are motivated by this refined expression, the results can be quite phenomenal – they can be life changing.
Finding your life purpose can help you know yourself better. We learn about ourselves both through reflection and action. As we start to live our life purpose, we perceive the process of living differently and it helps us understand more about who we are. The steps and actions we take become mirrors for seeing even more of who we truly are.
When we know and live our life purpose we are happier. Life is more meaningful and enjoyable. What may have seemed like the humdrum day becomes a powerful tool for bringing more of who we are into the world. This contributes to a sense of wellbeing that we do not have without our life purpose.
THE GOOD BURN
When you find your life purpose, it can feel like someone lit a match in your soul and that your whole life has somehow locked into place. You can have that “Oh yes, this is what it is all about” feeling, or you can have a subtle yet deep sense of realignment. It does not matter how you register the experience, so long as you have it. Like falling in love, aligning with your purpose is an indescribable experience worth every minute of getting there.
I help women find their purpose so they can bring positive change to their lives. To learn more, click here to sign up for my newsletter or here to learn about my Personal Breakthrough Intensive, a great way to take a big leap forward towards your purpose.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND YOUR PURPOSE?
By Dr. Kate Siner
Photo by Alex Vans-Colina
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