Editor's Note As the editor and Chief of Something I am extremely excited to be releasing our first issue. This issue is dedicated to love! Love is something of a universal fascination for the human race so it it seemed only fitting for us to talk about. We encourage you to post a comment, start an argument with your friends about why soul-mates are real, make your family share their opinions with you; whatever you do don't let the conversation end here!
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Zoe: My question was; how do you know when you’ve found the one. Zoella: I mean . . . is there a one? Zoe: You’re right you just killed my question. Zoella: I mean do you think there’s a one? Zoe: I don’t know man! If there is I-I want it to be true y’know? Zoella: Yeah, I mean who doesn’t want it to be true? Like who doesn’t want to think that there’s someone out there just for you, perfect for you? Zoe: I feel like-Yeah exactly-I-I feel like if the one is true like all the chaos in the world like anything can happen there’s just this sort of order to it like there’s fate or something like that like there’s supposed to be someone that you’re meant to be with. There’s like a period at the end of the sentence. That’s what I feel like the one is supposed to be. Zoella: The period at the end of the sentence? Zoe: Yeah like “Ah this is it” you know? Like it’s done. It’s final. Zoella: It’s done? Like love or . . . everything? Zoe: Not it’s done but like the feeling of just like aah there’s a meaning to life. Or like this isn’t just chaos like “oh there is the one!” Zoella: Like finding your purpose?
A Bedroom Conversation Between Two Girls who Are Not In Love
Zoe: yeah purpose yeah! Someone like my other half Zoella: oh ok so then your belief in like “is there a one” is tied to your like understanding of the meaning of life? Zoe: Yeah yeah Zoella: So then the meaning of life for you is love? Zoe: Kind of yeah. Part of it. I don’t know. Zoella: What’s the other part? Zoe: I don’t know. There’s like a lot of things I don’t know about life so I’m just like oh it’s just a part of-it’s just what I know. Like so far. Zoella: I mean yeah I think love is important it’s gotta be like central. Um but love . . . romantic love? Does it have to be romantic love? I feel like you could have a fulfilled life without it being romantic. Zoe: yeah that’s true. Zoella: like as long as you have love from like your friends and your peers and like you love what you do you do what you love y’know? Zoe: yeah that’s true. That’s true. Some people like pick careers over y’know significant others. Cuz they’re not significant enough. Zoella: I mean they could be significant but I mean like if they can’t give you what you want out of life y’know? Zoe: yeah . . .
THE SONNET OF FALLEN SAINTS OR THE NIGHT'S CAPILLARY
i. Desire churns in troves, sugars the insides of my thighs with stars, his face in laminated silver. The tiles heave with the sheer weight of it, this shuddering fever, this grace, this vivacity. Diamelas in the blistering. An iguana in the desert, equipped with fangs and an eye for the dreary. There’s a shiver in the air, a shudder you can almost taste, like just behind your stomach, where the spine lies. And lies so finely it grows a nose. Our bones speaking the language of cryptids, chanting about the lunacy in a veiled chamber of the heart that bleeds into the cornucopia of the moon. ii. Here’s what takes the cake. Are you ready? Good. I know that I’m bedeviling, but the morning has come and dissolved in your eyes and we’re caught up now in arrays of a blundered youth, youth with her throat exposed & pampered to slit, youth in the form of your body caving over mine like a dream unprepared for waking, like a pill bottle left upturned, like exposed tooth. My rupture, my assailant, this is youth buffering over the telephone wire of death. O’ youth, o’ petrified star! O’ the names you gave me the night the bloodlust settled in and we made love like rain soaked angels.
gave me the night the bloodlust settled in and we made love like rain soaked angels. O’ your misery scalps the mountains, your grief, the way we smothered our shadows into the walls. Seduced for surrender. Voices in your head that plead for blood. The way a refugee dreams only of clean water, of bricks that do not explode at the touch, and maybe a warm body at night. How you became the thing you were most afraid of. How you become. How you’re becoming - your mother’s long dead twin. iii. I guess I always get the short end of the stick. And I know that I’m passive aggressive, I know it’s like I can’t take a hint. I know I’m not meant to keep a boy, that I’m left by the third date, that I’m moronic & contagious. I know, I know. Tell me something new. Tell me that my laugh could bring god to his knees, that the spring sleeps inside my strange body. Tell me lullaby, tell me perseid. Tell me glitter, tell me violence. Hold me up and cradle my boot legged / dirt kissed / water logged / insecurities / the grit of my being. iv. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He wants to kill me. v. If love is a prayer, you are the god. -Jupiter Reed
Artist Nikki Ray (Leafsea) on Love in Her Work Q. Could you give us a brief bio about yourself? Like where are you from? What do you study? What are you’re goals for the future if you’ve thought that far or maybe you’re just going with the flow? A. I'm studying English literature and will be graduating this spring. I used to have really concrete goals for my future, but now I'm just kind of trying things out, taking life day-by-day. Q. Your art seems to be very personal do the quotes in your pieces come from personal experience? Where does the inspiration for the short prose in your work come from? A. Yeah, all of my art, writing or visual, is influenced by how I'm feeling in the moment, or things that have happened to me in the past. It’s a very cathartic process. Q. You’re pieces are very simple and often use sort of childish imagery (like stickers and crayons) but are a bit dark. What draws you to the look? How do you want people to react to when they view your work? A. Aesthetically, I'm drawn to the contrast between childlike imagery and darker themes. Part of that is probably because a lot of my anxieties stem from my childhood. Any kind of reaction is fine with me, though I'd like for my work to be relatable, to help people feel less alone in their feelings.
lot of my anxieties stem from my childhood. Any kind of reaction is fine with me, though I'd like for my work to be relatable, to help people feel less alone in their feelings. Q. You’re art often touches on the subject of love but not necessarily in a very positive way. Have you ever been heartbroken? Do you believe in true love? A. I've definitely been heartbroken, and in my art I try to express various forms of that feeling--romantic and otherwise. As for true love, I think that depends on your definition. In general I don't believe in perfect or ideal love; there's always some kind of flaw that you have to work through. Q. On your youtube channel you talk about having been in an abusive relationship. Do you have any tips on how to spot abusive behavior or what to do if you find yourself in an abusive relationship? A. One of the biggest red flags is if they start trying to control your behavior, like telling you what you can and cannot do or say. If someone tries to limit how you express yourself, even in subtle ways, it's a sign that they don't have good intentions. It's best to cut ties with them in the beginning, since it only gets harder to leave with time. Q. How important have your experiences with love been in informing the content of your art? Would you consider it to be one of the main themes of your work? If not what do you consider to be the main theme and if so what else? A. I think the themes definitely vary. Some of it is about love (or rather the absence of it), and others are about not being comfortable in one's own body, trauma, alienation, dissociation, etc. Q. Based off your experience would you say love is worth it? Is it worth getting hurt for? Do you think a person can live a fulfilling life without romantic love? A. I think a person can definitely live a fulfilling life without romantic love. Whether or not it's worth it depends on what you value I guess. I'm still kind of undecided about that. Q. Do you have any thoughts about love or relationships or about staying true to yourself that you would like to share? A. I'd say, just do what you think is important. The things that you find meaningful will constantly be changing, but it's worth chasing that, whatever it is. If it's romantic love that you want, go for it. If it's something entirely different, that's fine too.
about not being comfortable in one's own body, trauma, alienation, dissociation, etc. Q. Based off your experience would you say love is worth it? Is it worth getting hurt for? Do you think a person can live a fulfilling life without romantic love? A. I think a person can definitely live a fulfilling life without romantic love. Whether or not it's worth it depends on what you value I guess. I'm still kind of undecided about that. Q. Do you have any thoughts about love or relationships or about staying true to yourself that you would like to share? A. I'd say, just do what you think is important. The things that you find meaningful will constantly be changing, but it's worth chasing that, whatever it is. If it's romantic love that you want, go for it. If it's something entirely different, that's fine too.
RED PINK PURPLE BLUE
If you could see love one end would be red and the other would be blue. People usually say red is passion and who am I to disagree. It’s tough and mean. Red loves you enough to hurt you. Red can’t let go. Red left before you could. Pink would be a crush. It can’t hurt you but it wants to. Pink wants you to make a mistake. Pink thinks you’re perfect. Pink drew your name in an arrow heart. Purple is a funny color. It’s soft to the touch, not because it cares more but because it’s afraid that you might leave if it’s too much. Purple is too much. Purple cried one time you took too long to text back and then told you about it in passing a few weeks later. Blue will never tell you how it feels. Blue loves you always. Blue jut wants to be near you. Blue hurts itself and makes you feel guilty. Blue will do whatever you want. I have a problem with loving in pink. I do it way too much. For example: Freshman year I fell in deep pink with a boy I didn’t know. He was everywhere I was for two years and I only had interactions of the most awkward kind with him. He played the guitar and seemed nice enough. I used to imagine that if there was ever a time when future versions of everyone came back to the past to make sure we fell in love with the right people, future me would arrive in a beautiful outfit with him on her arm and they’d make sure we fell in love.
In reality I only ever asked him once if he wanted to study and he said “sure” but didn’t mean it so I turned a little purple and stopped talking to him. After getting rid of this terrible pink love I started to look for something a little more red. At a New Years Eve party I went to with my friends, of which one was looking for some red and the other was in a committed purple, I was feeling very bored and very drunk. My purple friend was being hit on and my other friend found someone to make out with so I did the same. I never got his name. I had my first kiss and gave my first blow job in the same night. I didn’t feel I had experienced any color really. After that a boy approached me in the street promising me red. I usually turn those boys down but I felt I was the only person in the whole world who had not been red. After the first date I kissed him pink quite publicly and quite thoroughly on a train platform. I went home and the realization that we were not really compatible in the long term sent me quickly into purple but I wanted to stick it out. I fucked him purple and we stopped texting after that. Then I started to think of how I could find something serious. One of my friends seemed like he wouldn’t be a one hundred percent match but I could see myself caring about him and I had never cared about anyone (not in that way at least). I fell in pink with him. I told him I was interested in him and then one week later I asked how that made him feel during a one on one session of truth or dare. He told me he thought it was a bad idea. I didn’t
really care about good or bad ideas I wanted red. I realized later he said no partly because he was in blue with one of my other friends. Throughout my interactions with love I do feel like I can understand it. Not enough to control it but enough to no longer stand in awe. A friend of mine recently went from red to purple to nothing at all and wanted me to tell her why. I told her what I’ve told you. Basically love uses the colors like a magnifying glass. Through each color you have a chance to learn more about each other in a way that pushes you together or pulls you apart. And I, ruthless with my paintbrush, will color people whatever I like till I find someone who makes me into the sparkle on an ornate picture frame, the glitter on a valentine, the sequins on a dress, the rhinestones on a handmade trinket box. And, for your own sake, I hope you do the same. XOXO elizabeth
In talking about love it's hard to keep one's attention from turning to "Soul Mates". Everybody wants to know if they can expect to find "the one" or if that's about as reasonable still believing in Santa Claus at 23. To shed some light on the subject we sent some questions to Natalie known on instagram as nataliethebeliever a spiritual life coach and intuitive empath. Here's what she had to say about Soul Mates and "true love" ideology.
You describe yourself as an intuitive empath on your Instagram. Do you mind explaining what that means? Sure. I’m so glad you asked, because there is a difference between an Empath and an Intuitive Empath. Empaths are naturally sensitive people who feel the energy, emotions, and thoughts of others quite unintentionally on a subconscious level. Because Empaths absorb the energy of people and their surroundings, they can suffer a great deal with unexplained moodiness, not able to tell the difference between their own emotions and the feelings and emotions of others. As an Intuitive Empath, I am able to tune in consciously to the energetic inner state of others and situations. This allows me to interpret the causes and ultimately possibilities for healing and growth. I use my Gifts to share guidance with those in need – empowering them to find clarity, deeper meaning and realization of their full Spiritual potential. Do you believe in soulmates? If so could you tell us what your definition of a soulmate is? Yes! Soulmates are for real, but in Truth, Soulmates are slightly different than how most people tend to think of them. A Soulmate is someone who you have and feel a strong energetic connection with, I like to call it a Soul Connection. The purpose of this Soul Connection is not romantic, although it may also be that, but first and foremost it is Spiritual. Soulmates come into your life to inspire you to awaken to a higher state of consciousness and challenge you to learn important life lessons. Soulmates can be friends, family members, or people who come into our lives at specific times for specific reasons. So indeed, you will encounter many Soulmates within the course of your lifetime. Does everyone have a soulmate? How are you supposed to know if you've found "the one"? Yes, everyone has a Soulmate, most people have several Soulmates based on the lessons they are here to learn in this lifetime. You will know when you are in the presence of a Soulmate because you will feel it intuitively. It may feel like you’ve known each other for years, although you just met, or even that you’ve been together in a past life. Soulmate connections are also intense. A Soulmate acts as a mirror, increasing your awareness of your True Self – this can often be a challenging experience. Once you’ve experienced and learned the lesson a Soulmate has been sent to challenge you with, the physical connection is no longer necessary and the relationship often comes to an end.
Does everyone have a soulmate? How are you supposed to know if you've found "the one"? Yes, everyone has a Soulmate, most people have several Soulmates based on the lessons they are here to learn in this lifetime. You will know when you are in the presence of a Soulmate because you will feel it intuitively. It may feel like you’ve known each other for years, although you just met, or even that you’ve been together in a past life. Soulmate connections are also intense. A Soulmate acts as a mirror, increasing your awareness of your True Self – this can often be a challenging experience. Once you’ve experienced and learned the lesson a Soulmate has been sent to challenge you with, the physical connection is no longer necessary and the relationship often comes to an end. People often use the term Soulmate and “The One” interchangeably, but these are actually two different things. You will have many Soulmate connections in your lifetime. “The One” is actually a Life Partner, someone who serves as a best friend and romantic companion who satisfies your emotional, physical and mental needs. To strive towards creating and maintaining healthy and balanced relationships, it is important to recognize the difference between a Soulmate and a Life Partner. A Soulmate is typically not the best person to form a romantic connection with for several reasons.
With Soulmates, the connection is charged with intense energy and you will experience highs and lows as you learn the lessons you are destined to learn. More often than not, a Soulmate connection will not be forever as the relationship ends when the purpose is fulfilled. A Life Partner is someone you are highly compatible with - forming a deep friendship with based on shared values, mutual respect and physical attraction. Both people in a Life Partner relationship will have a conscious desire to remain physically together for the duration of their lifetime. Do you have any advice about how people can recover from heartbreaks and continue to search for this person? Recovering from heartbreak is a process, so I always encourage people to be patient and allow the journey of healing to unfold. Acknowledge that the Love you felt during the relationship was real, everyone comes into your Life with a purpose, and the time has come to move on to the next phase in your journey without your former flame. It is also important during the healing process to stay present, not replaying the fails of the relationship on mental repeat or stressing over what may happen in the future. Get busy and Love yourself! Spend time doing activities that nurture you and make you feel genuinely happy. It also helps to talk to a supportive friend, family member or professional to help you gain clarity around the lessons learned from the relationship experience. By really taking the time to Love yourself through this healing process, the good news is that you become more aligned with your authentic self, and you are more prepared to attract the person who will best fit your needs. Is it possible for someone to go their whole life without finding this special person? Soulmates come into your life when you are ready to fulfill certain life lessons. As you continue to journey within towards your True Self, you will always be found by your Soulmates in Divine Time. Successful Life Partner relationships are attracted when you are emotionally and mentally prepared to manifest a mutually satisfying relationship. As with a Soulmate, a Life partner will be found only when the time is right.
Do you believe that someone can lead a fulfilling life without ever finding this person? Yes, many single people live happy, fulfilled lives as a conscious decision. The lessons and growth attained in a committed relationship can be manifested on the journey to discovering yourself, pursuing your passions and sharing your Gifts freely. Some things are meant to manifest in this lifetime, and some things will blossom later in the development of your Soul. It is important to enjoy the moment and trust the journey. Do you have any advice for people who are trying to find their soulmate right now? If you are in search of your Soulmate right now, the best place to start is within. Do some soul-searching to determine who you Truly are, what your passions are, and align your Life with the Truth of your authentic self. Living an authentic life aligns your vibration with that of your Soulmate, attracting them to you when you are ready. If you are in search of your Life Partner, you still need to start within! Once you know who you Truly are and live a Life consistent with your Truth, your Life Partner will recognize and be drawn to you magnetically.
c l i n g i n g o n t o a d e a d l o v e w i l l o n l y b r i n g o u t a p a i r o f s c i s s o r s
I imagine that to others, we appeared like a knot. We were messy and dysfunctional, and constantly tangled up in each other. Our limbs, our emotions, our lives, I was always trying to smooth out the rougher parts of you and you were trying to untangle the disaster that my life was becoming. I don’t know how we became so caught up in each other, but my God I was never happier to bend and twist myself around the prospect of someone’s happiness. -alovesynonymouswithdisaster
What's it feel like?
Baily "Kit" Sansom (Ips666)
What does love feel like? You venture and live your life, until you happen upon a strange insect in the wild. You've heard tales of how this magical wild insect brings great happiness and good fortune. the insect promises you a life of joy, if you allow it to feast upon your flesh for the rest of your life. you agree blindly. the happiness hits like a tidal wave, crashing upon you and leaving you breathless as the insect nests underneath your flesh. sometimes these insects don't come invited, and attach to an unwilling host. The heaps of joy are wonderful, but then you start feeling weak over time. The insect is a parasite, sucking out your nutrients day-and-night. It's living hell. But you do not cut it out, for the happiness it has given you is far too good to give up. You can't let it go. But your life is slowly drained, your skin pales from malnutrition. But you're smiling, addicted to the drug that is the insect's venom. It is too good to lose. What does falling out of love feel like? Falling out of love is a lot like cutting off a heavy load- breaking the chain to a ball on your ankle, being squeezed like a sponge. All of the grief and sorrow and burden is squished out of you, but at the same time, so are those few feelings of happiness love may have brought. After a parasite has been feasting off of you for so long, it can often leave you shriveled up and dry, sucked of all nutrients once it finally detaches. Sometimes this can be a positive thing, but sometimes not. There are upsides and downsides to these feelings.
Something is an ongoing conversation! If something in this issue made you think let us know on our website somethingzine.com, our twitter @SomethingZine, or our instagram @something_zine. There are plenty of opportunities to be featured or even to just have an interesting discussion!